Got a secret? Can you keep it?

-I'm insane, and have been this whole time. Only, no one has yet to notice.
-I think about running away all the time.
-I'm no longer close to anyone here. Just like that.

-I went insane around 4th grade and no one seems to notice
-My mom says I'm an emotional basketcase
-I have had thoughts of suicide and cutting myself.
-I am probably 20 pounds more than my fellow female classmates
-I weigh 134 pounds, my mother is 145.
-I say I'm 15, I'm not, I'm 12
-I don't want to grow up
-I cry when I think about being a little kid and a todler because I miss it
-My family's recent move has made me even more unstable
-I have anger issues
-I have a severe swearing problem
-My parents yell at me when I touch my 6-year-old brother, but when he pulls my hair, jumps on top of me, screams in my ear, claws at my face, and pushes me on concrete, they don't do a thing.
-I do feel loved, but I feel like my parents love my brother more

-I am not a super hero and as much as I want to help, I am not capable of solving everybody else's problems, nor am I capable of consistently feeding people compliments to bring them up when they feel like crap. There is only so much that I can say or do for others until I give up stroking their ego and trying to drag them out of their self-pity. I am not a lifeguard, and I can't constantly drag you out of your ocean of self-hatred and low self-esteem. Frankly I'm getting a little tired of spoon-feeding people with emotional pep talks--specifically when they know they're playing on the heart strings of their friends for the sole purpose of getting attention. Surprise, there is a limit to my sympathy.

So the other day, my parents got a letter annoucing that I got in advanced math class for the upcoming year of being in 7th grade. Now, this may seem all happy and nice. It was for me, I love math. So my parents said we could go out to dinner later that night, my choice. Then later that day, my little six year old brother caught five catfish, a frog, and what looked like a baby turtle from our pond in a little tiny fishing net. I thought, ooh that's great! But my parents praised him even more than me, then said "We'll go out to dinner tonight, your choice!" Then I said, "But it was my choice tonight!" and mu parents said, "Do something active for a change and then you can pick!" I guess they said that cause I'm slightly fat and am better academicaly then I am physically. I got really upset. And I needed to tell someone.

-My mom just came home drunk. I've never seen her like this and I'm sure she'll be fine, but..wow, this is different and a little hectic..
-If I could, I'd take full advantage of getting more shifts at my job, save up all I can and just run away. Then again, where would that leave my family. And me I suppose.
-I seriously hope one day I fall in love with someone that wishes me happiness and appreciates me. I know that sounds cliche, but yeah. I'd almost kid myself and think, 'hey, maybe nothing has worked out so far in order to bring me to the right one.' but doesn't that seem so far-fetched.
-I need to stop getting my hopes up.
-I wonder who reads this and actually cares or can sympathize with the secrets others have shared. I dunno. If you're out there and care, or need someone to care. Well yeah, I'd like to talk to you.

-I'm like little miss sunshine, when I get happy, I'm super happy, but when I'm mad, I'm like the the most violent person I've met.
-I've been having these freaked up dreams and I look them up online and most of them mean something along the lines like 'it reflects your vulnerability or feelings of shamefulness. You may be hiding something and are afraid that others can see right through you. '
-Yes my parents are really getting a divorce. If I get real quiet about something on here and I barely talk about it, then It's really happening.
-I feel the need to go on a diet, I don't know why, but It's not like the starving yourself diet you think it is.
-I tell myself things that I want to do but I never do them ~
-I steal a lot, I don't keep them forever, but I take things, use them, then give them back like 4 days later and nobody knows. It's fun xP
-I have a really messed up mind, if you told me to write something creepy I will write something beyond creepy, disturbing, and bone chilling. I dunno where I got it from, I don't watch scary movies, anything like that.

I feel like everyone forgets about me and ignores me. I don't seem to matter anymore. I'm just Greek, nothing special really. I wish someone would prove me wrong, but I have a feeling I'm right.

I'm unsure of how Greek thinks she is ignored because she is super funny and cute and responsible. She is easy to be friends with and I'm very confident in her ability to lead and help people, virtuallly as well as irl. She is bubbly and outgoing and I wish she wouldn't feel like she was nothing, because everyone has something to offer, and lucky for us, what greek has to offer is 100% good. It makes me sad that she doesn't think anyone cares.

I wish more people saw that sometimes, everyone gets ignored here. And everyone starts at the same place, which is newblet. We interact, we learn, and we make ourselves who and what we are here. And like the real world, sometimes things don't go our way. Sometimes we aren't seen or heard, sometimes we are hurt. But it's important in times like these that we think about all the great things we have. Like chat family. If you talk in the chatbox even just once a week, I gaurantee you have a friend, whether you see it or not. You And if that friend isn't on? Talk to other people. Even if they don't respond, keep going. Ask question, start topics, call people by their online names so they know you're addressing them. I see people get upset because they say, "I'm bored" and nobody responds. Well what do you expect? you're not talking or anything. Have you asked someone to rp? Rp is another way to interact with people, and it'll cure that boredom. Ta-da~ And yes, I know. Even if you do that, you will still occasionally get ignored, whether purposefully or accidentally. It still happens to me too. It occurs to most people, if not everyone. But you just have to keep trying.

Ohkay this isn't like, depressed or anything. But I secretly have a crush on this RPC on tumblr. Shussh xD

Also I did a few bad things the other night omg I'm really sorry D; well not really. All I really want to do is go see my therapist again okay that's all I want and I just want my mom to stfu and pay for it because her daughter's lonely okay

Thanks a lot, Ninja. You're a true mate for offering.

-My mum came home drunk for the second time last night. After I repeatedly told her to be careful and not become intoxicated, to not overexert herself, to not indulge too much. And that's exactly what she did.

-What happens from here, I don't know. I sort of hope I grow up faster at this rate. Speaking of which, I finally got a job..and I feel 5 years older. It was mainly a demand from my parents. And that's fine. I'll start to support myself. Maybe it's finally time I did that on my own.

-I have friends that come to me to help with their depression. And I'm glad they come to me, it makes me feel supportive to know they want my support right off the bat. But sometimes I wonder what it's like on the other end, seeking help and getting a pep talk and feeling better at the end of the day. I can't always be the hero, for everyone. But I think I'll always be the supportive, caring friend I've forever been.

-I know people are ignored here, and I don't believe most of it is personal. But it doesn't feel like a community at times. There are times when it feels like there's a closely knit group. Some people feel uncomfortable in their own skin. Myself included. I feel like if I make any effort to talk, I somehow flip things to center onto me, (everyone gets all quiet, or they don't respond) and that's not a good feeling. So, it's a fight between trying to socialize or staying quiet.

-I don't believe we'll ever talk again. It's a shame. And I wish things were different. But either way, you wanted this.

-I miss Ghost, and Crispy. I feel a similar path coming on. I like to think we'll all see each other one day, like in the good old times in tinychat. Typical, how times change and things were simpler back then.

-I have a crush on two people here. I regret telling anybody. One already knows, and the other thinks I'm just playing around.
-I feel like, since I'm nice to a lot of people, everyone just pushes me aside, and doesn't respect me.
-My brother harms me. all the time. whether it's throwing butter knives at me, or punching me, nobody notices. I use make up to cover up my bruises sometimes, and people call me a whore for how much I have to use.
-I cry a lot. over the stupidest things. Like, me being rude to someone, and they'll log off. that makes me sob. I guess I just hate being rude.
-I really wish I liked everyone here, but I don't. people who greet me with "STEVIEEEE" thinking we're best friends. I don't like a few of them.
-I don't like someone here because I'm jealous that somebody I like, likes them.
-I feel like my crush ignores me whenever his crush is on, but then adores me the moment she's gone. I feel like.. a second option.
-I'm afraid to date irl. I've done it before, but it scares the living hell out of me.
-I'm not tough. I'm girly, and get hurt easily. Even just telling me to "shut up" get's me going. I feel like a neusance because of how upset I get.
-I feel like nobody here cares that I'm leaving, and feel like if I left right now, nobody would give it a second thought.

-I hate to admit it, but I have read all the secrets and I wish I could hug all of you guys personally. And when I say I love you guys, I really mean it. I don't play around with those three words.
-I feel bad when I log onto CHB and don't go onto chat. Sometimes I just go on to check my topics and see if I have PMs or I just want to post. It doesn't mean I don't want to talk. I'm just busy or feeling a bit under the weather.
-I lied to this one guy I knew that I did "bad things". I did it just to make him like me. He did all those "bad things" so why not lie and say that I did them too? I wouldn't even do these things in my whole entire life. But, now we don't even talk anymore and I realized how stupid it was.
-I get so defensive when someone says they are depressed. I act as if I own the issue and I don't even mean to do it. I wish I didn't do it and I'm sorry if I have ever done it to anyone.

I feel like nobody here really likes me lol at all and I feel like I'm a horrible admin rofl and I also feel like I'm developing a crush on someone hiss

I feel like you all hate me because you all seem hellbent to ruin my day or ignore me whenever I show up.

I don't know if that even qualifies as a secret, but oh well.

-Everyone feels like there is this big clique that they're not actually in
-The people in the clique feel like they're not really in the clique because everyone else in the clique are closer
-Basically everyone on this site feels like someone or a group doesn't like them
-Let's all realize this and make an effort to be kind to everyone
-Maybe then, nobody will feel that way

-I feel like my "Best friend" likes the same person I do. I feel.. in a word... Betrayed, kind of. because they know how I feel about that person.

-I feel like I'm starting to like someone, but I don't want to.
-I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point, or I'm just being plain stupid.

sometimes I wish for a lobotomy

My brother fractured his foot, and my parents got all worried about it. So my dad drove four hours to go with my brother for a doctors apointment.(My brother doesn't live with us.)

My grandpa, who I love to death has cancer. I really don't want him to die, I'd miss him too much. Not to mention he had stomach pains, really bad ones. So my grandma rushed him to the hospital. Then they gave him some tube thing, so it would clear out a blockage. But then when they took it out, he wouldn't eat. So he had surgery to put the tube back in and to try and clear the blockage. Now he's in the intensive care unit, and my moms been at the hospital every day. I'm crying typing this, I really don't want to loose him.

To top it all off, I feel as though I'm being ignored. My dads always busy, and then when he has time he wants to be alone. My moms been gone dealing with my grandpa. And I've just been home alone. I just want someone to notice me for once. Oh gods I'm horrible and selfish.

Then because I'm just stupid. My internet is a piece of crap, it hardly works. It broke today and I couldn't fix it for the longest time. I started crying over something as stupid as broken internet. I'm just a mess right now.