Got a secret? Can you keep it?

-My two friends are in a fight because Lexi is dating someone two years older and Zeke is jealous. Lexi is my best friend and so I take her side in it all. All the guys are takjng Zeke's side and he's trying to turn everyone against Lexi and me. The only people who actually talk to us are our boyfriends and a few other real friends. Lexi feel guilty for my "Popularity change" as she puts it and I don't want her too, although, I am upset that the guys that used to be my good friends are now making fun of me. I had to walk out of history yesterday crying. I haven't been bullied this much since 6th grade-
-I feel guilty saying this because, as much as I hate saying it, my life is pretty great compared to some of yours, I can't handle being tormented like this as much as others can. Im not as strong as I may let on. I may give advice to some of you, but I can't even follow my own advice-

I tried to suffocate myself with my backpack. My friend had to confiscate it
Except it has holes so I kind of knew it wouldn't work

i'm bullied at school
they call me fat and that i suck at life.
i starve myself
i'm rather violent, meaning stabbing paper dolls of the bullies.
i'm thinking about cutting
i'll just go to bed now.

First, I'm addicted into Internet. Whenever my parents go and call me with a duty, well, I would frown, think of things and words that probably would rot me to hell. I wanted to handle laptop all day. I wake up, Internet is on me. On my mind. I know. I know that if this continues, I might get so addicted I can probably fail at school. I can fail my parents, I can fail my future. I can fail God. Sorry.

Second, I have a friend who makes my blood boil. She'd been my best friend at first. But then, in this school year, I just do not know why I suddenly get angry with her. Maybe because I started noticing her flaws? The way she make me give her money, promise that she's gonna go and pay it, but no? Gosh. This is complicated.

I've been really worried these past days. Our school play is today at 4, and we're doing Treasure Island. The only problem is that one of my classmates is sick. And he play Jim. Our drama teacher had to substitute for him during rehearsal. And some 8th graders got sick in the middle of a scene (Thank gods it was backstage, and I was in the tech booth). All of the absent people are main character except one. We had to cancel early, and I don't know if we can actually do it.

I think this has been the weirdest week of my life. It's like 'let's chat up Cerys week'. I don't consider myself pretty, and neither did many else really until this week apparently. I've been called buff, fit, beautiful, and an Idiot for wanting to get my boobs desized. I've been offered to lose my 'innocence' with a guy I know and am close to, and asked to do 'stuff' with some of them.
But you know what? I said no to all these offers because I can't get this one boy out of my head, and It's driving my insane, especially when I catch him looking at me In registration and when he looks like he wants to talk to me but he just...stops himself.

I'm panicking, I graduate from eight grade a week from Friday. I have a classtrip next Tuesday. We have all of the end of the school year stuff to get through. Not to mention my moms birthdays next Tuesday, and Mother's day is Sunday. I have to get her presnts and everything, and I have to help plan a suprise party for her thats going to be next Saturday, and then I have a dance the same day.

Oh, and should I mention I'm streched pretty thin. It's overwheleming me. To a point of where I play loud music, and just stress dance, and sing. Its rather comforting, but I only do it when Im majorly stressed.

I havent shown my report card. But she found it the other day. I should have thrown it away. Two C's is like, looked down upon by my mother. Because a satisfactory won't do. I got a warning a few days ago because I was caught using 'profanity'. Today I pretty much screamed out a retort that included the word 'dick' and 'your dick went to your personality' to a guy that pissed me off in class. It was lunch hour, but I got on the lunch hour supervisor's bad side. It's complicated. And I've been hearing more rumors about me lately.

Well I'm pratcically part of the mean girls group, but I'm best friends and hubby (fake) to my best friend Alex who's determined to level up into the popular group. But the populars currently think I've been calling them a female dog behind their back even though to be honest, it's my friend who's been calling them female dogs. All of the hot guys get the popular girls. I only get the creeps. Like by the creeps, I mean the fat ones who are obessed over sex, and the guys stuck in 4th grade. Since I obviously know how to dance, I'm going to do a dance duet with my friend Alexs and hopefully now that they see that I dance they will accept me because all of the girls in the popular group dances. Oh, and did I mention the popular group consists of 6/8th of the girls in 6th grade? The other two eighths are the nobodies, and the ones who try to act popular though they're not.

so that was more of a rant that I never told anybody

here are the secrets

-My dad is probably going to move out
-Of course, as he's going to move out, he's going to be making in between 1.5 million and 5 million dollars
-My sister practically hates everything, including me and that's just a horrible relationship because she's the only one who has the ability to set me up with Jordan.
-If you're reading this Brenn, I'm sorry for being so self centered and not giving a crap about what you said I'll try harder.
-I'm a total slob.
-All of my friends think I'm annoying and so needy.
-They said to my face that I acted like I was the best thing in the world.
-Makes no sense
-I don't know which guys like me and which ones only look at me because they think I badmouth their friends?

I JUST WANNA BE POPULAR BECAUSE THEY GET ALL THE GUYS.
like quinn and jake. jake liked me for a while, if I had asked him out earlier then i would have gotten him.
but i'm the only girl in my whole school who has had a boyfriend she couldn't see in real life.

I'm a really big nerd who can't even talk to the same gender I'm in. I've got a lot of bruises in basketball and people think I'm over reacting when I say I sprained my wrist. My parents are in Russia and I really miss them, even if it means unlimited wi-fi. I like a guy who my friends thinks we're together- since he's really sweet around me, but they don't see him act like that to EVERY other girl he meets. Tough gentleman, damn you for getting me under your charms. My buddies who I play games with are out of town till further notice so I'm stuck at home and my cousins really annoy the hell out of me since they're sleeping in my house. But no one really cares cause nothing really matters about me, right? I'm stupid, I'm lazy, I'm annoying and they think I'm all cheery always. It's frustrating to just feel down and they'll approach you asking if am I just sick. I can't feel sad, I can't go out with my friends and no one really notices me unless I talk animatedly until they go away.

This truth or dare thing at our school is getting out of control. We had a dance yesterday. A guy in my class asked me out, so I punched him in the gut. It's really annoying, and I'm tired of it.

I wanna take a break from being a mod because I'm scared of my ego getting too inflated.
-I think that most people around here hate me as a mod.
-I'm close to resigning.
-I'm writing this and I think I'm imcapable of being a mod.
-I dont know how to deal with hate. I usually pretend that I don't care, but I care. Too much.
-There are four specific members around here that would love to say sorry to, but I'm too chicken.
-I'm using this topic too much.

I'm beginning to think I'm not capable of romantic love. I don't even have a serious crush for quite some time now. Like having someone in your mind almost all the time--that kind of crush. Maybe this is just a phase. Maybe I just learned how to ignore these kinds of feelings, haha.

I'm tired of people constantly ignoring me and walking over me and not recognizing me when I want to be recognized. I'm also wanna take a break from the site because there's no reason for em to be here anymore.
-I hate living because my life is so hard. People don't understand how hard it is and they act like I don't care when they say stuff about me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I'm called the b-word everyday. I'm very stressed for a 13 year-old girl
-I might have diabetes and something else. I sleep all the time and am very sleepy. And I'm almost always hot when it's really cold or cold when it's really hot.
-I have hypoglycemia.
-I'll never know for certain if I have diabetes because I'm too scared to go get a blood test
-Everyday I just wanna yell at someone on the chatbox. No, not one particular person. Just multiple people.
-I resorted to another roleplay because this site does not feel comforting anymore.
-Sometimes I think some of the members/staff are biased.

In 5th grade, a girl (her name is Katy) became my friend. Now, she is just goddamn annoying. She called me retarded and she didn't want to be my friend anymore. The crazy thing is she said she wanted to be my friend again. I said Hell No. Sometimes I wish I was a shy kid, someone that wasn't known. But that won't ever happen. I'm bullied at my school, plus Katy and this other girl, Cassie, will not leave me alone! They just follow me around, and I'm tired of it! They can't hang out with their other friends or something? God!

Another thing. There is another girl at my school (Name's Kayleen) that burst my bubbles! She laughs at me, and she does really weird stuff.

That's all

-Music is the only thing that makes sense to me.
-I don't believe in any religion, or higher power. Maybe some divine being created life, maybe not.
-I've never used any substance to get high, or basically enhanced or enlightened.
-I'm rarely depressed, but I do feel mellow a lot of days. Unsurprisingly, most people don't believe me.
-Possibly one of the most apathetic people you'd meet in life. At least I'd appear that way. I can actually be a really caring, concerned guy. Or I can be a really mean jerk. It's all about how one perceives me or acts around me, and maybe how they've influenced me to act towards them.
-I don't really feel close to anyone here on chb. Most people either do not bother saying anything back when greeted or complimented, leave, or never say anything in the first place. If not all the above. In fact, all communities I've found are pretty much like this.
-Just when I think I've found some sort of mutual attraction with a girl, it all comes falling down, and blows up in my face. Life has a way of letting you know that you're gonna constantly struggle before you achieve success. At least, that's what I've learned.
-The only real thing I ask for is honesty, in any sort of relationship. With a stranger or enemy - like me or don't like me, be straight up and tell me. At least I'll respect you for doing so. With a friend - just have my back, I'll have yours, and be there for me. With a mutual attraction in a girl - be honest with me, and appreciate my own sincerity. If I'm heartfelt, it took a lot from me to do so. I never feel attracted to more than one girl at a time.
-Other than honesty and wanting mutual effort, I don't really have expectations
-I'm on the pursuit of happiness. And it's a long, tiresome pursuit. But maybe I'll get there someday.