we all end up the remains of the day :: quibs [final]

water.

tiberius was surrounded by water. water that was dark and cool and smooth. water that was so murky, so impossibly deep that you couldn’t see an inch in front of you. simply water, and nothing more. his clothes were soaked through, his hair floating in all directions like inky seaweed. his green eyes closed to the wet world around him. they had been green for months now. his blue eyes were for his friends, for those whom he had cared to share his endeavours with. his grey eyes were for his lovers in all aspects, for those whom he would do anything for at any given time, all they had to do was say the word. ty’s green eyes were for those of desperate times, not meant for any one group of people. tiberius’ green eyes had taken over ever since that day in the strange camp. the camp where he met the blonde girl, whose name he didn’t know and didn’t care to. they hadn’t wavered since. eventually, it was those green eyes of his that drove him to the dark, murky water, for at least it was more calm than he. 

his exterior had always been gentle and cool. ever since he had been a child, his father always told him that gentlemen never got angry, or scared, for then they would lose their composure. so tibs made the utmost effort to always remain emotionless, and until recently, had worked very well. now, with the gap of memories lost to him and no one to guide his way, ty was slowly becoming undone at the seams. why couldn’t he remember? why why why? tiberius couldn’t take the silence anymore, or the loneliness, or the green. those perfectly desperate green orbs that stared back at him in the morning, mocking him. why why why? the moment tibs dived into the pool, he had let the coldness overtake him, and, like a rock, had sunk to the bottom. and there he had remained. 

after some time, his baby sister had showed up. his charlotte. his best friend. she swam up to him, her mouth open in a scream, but only thick green bubbles frothed from the gaping hole. she grabbed ty’s face, her fingers shaking his head, yet ty remained unresponsive. “brother!” she screamed, louder and louder. “big brother, please! you know you cannot swim! stop being an impulsive moron and get back to the surface! ty! tiberius!" charlotte weeped, tibs did not move. he knew she was an illusion. charlotte always was here at camp. after a few moments, she floated away, screaming and crying. ty thought her a child and a fool, because no one should have wept for him. he, who had done nothing with his life. he, who had tried but had always failed regardless. he, who was no longer his father’s son. he, who was lost. who should weep for such a person?

at one point, his lungs stopped taking in the murky lake water. at one point, his heart stopped beating. at one point, his brain stopped thinking. at one point, his dead, wet body floated to the surface and onto the damp shore. his clothes, a white button up shirt, a black vest, black bottoms, stuck to him. his black shoes shiny, with bits of seaweed clinging to the tip and sole. ebony hair stuck to his china doll face, peaceful in death. it was barely dawn when he had died, the moon bowing down to make way for the sun. but tibs would never see that sunrise, nor any other.

tiberius winters was no longer surrounded by water. tiberius winters was dead. 

tiberius winters wasn’t surrounded by water. tiberius winters was dead. and now, tiberius winters was falling. 

falling miles and miles through seemingly endless blackness did not do anything to dry his clothes or body, for when he landed on the cold hard ground, his clothes still stuck to him. when he stood up, people were staring at him, and ty stared back. where was he? what would become of him? it was dark. so dark. dark enough that it turned your bones to shadows and your words to ashes. a boat stood in obsidian water, smooth as glass. tibs got in the long line, sticking his hand in his wet pocket, feeling around for money to distract himself. what would charlotte think when he never returned home? who would care for his siblings now that he was dead? who would run the cabin? he tapped his foot on the slate coloured ground, and after a couple of minutes a stern, weathered old looking man jabbed him in the back. “could ya stop that, laddie? me ears cannot take another one o’ yer bloody taps.” his voice was rough like rocks, grumbling like a terrible machine. tiberius’ voice was weak and high pitched compared to his, lacking the authority it needed.

“yes, sir. sorry, sir. won’t happen again, sir.” ty looked at the ground, standing completely still, afraid that if he made even the slightest movement the man would get angry again. even in death, when no harm could come to you because you were already… well… dead, tibs still hated the idea of getting hurt. he stood there, moving only to climb up the line. he paid the ferryman with his last gold drachma and boarded the boat. lake water dripped from his hair and into his eyes, which were red and itchy and hurt. ty rubbed them and found tears to be coming out from them. he hardly ever cried, but he supposed this was the only instance in which it was okay. when he got off the ferry, he saw a big building, greek fire pouring out of torches, lighting the way. the judges were in there, and tiberius couldn’t face them. he was always a coward, and nothing had changed. he could imagine their long, horselike, bony faces, sticking out from behind dark veils, laughing and mocking him. besides, there was no room in elysium for a skinny, gaunt boy who had done nothing heroic in his life. so ty just ran into the fields of asphodel. he ran and ran and ran. his feet never hurt, and the only wetness that fell from his face was from the water. it was damp and cold in the underworld, not hot as most people would imagine. 

eventually tiberius tripped over a tree root and somersaulted into the trunk. he sat there, at first screaming. screaming because he had let so many people down. screaming because he was a coward. just screaming at everything. and then, when his vocal chords, like everything else, had failed him, he cried. ty didn’t know how long he had cried for. it seemed tiberius had cried for years, centuries, millenniums. he couldn’t stop, and it wasn’t like there was anything else to do besides cry. it wasn’t like elysium, where he could at least try for a second chance. it wasn’t like he had friends down in this forest of grey, or chess. tibs was so lonely, and his unbeating heart ached for quinn taylors. he remembered the name. he remembered the girl. he remembered how much he had loved her, and he remembered how much of a fool he had been the past few weeks. now she was living, and now he was dead, and now there wasn’t anytime for either of them to say i’m sorry.