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 Victarii's characters (New Character)

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Victarii



Posts : 161
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 21
Location : ---

PostSubject: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:07 pm

MY CHARACTER INDEX

Accepted Characters



Victarii Manri - sixteen - Single
Spoiler:
 

Calista Shella - Eighteen - Single
Spoiler:
 

Celina Dastal - Thirteen- Single
Spoiler:
 

Gabrielle Allare - Thirteen - Single

Spoiler:
 


To Be Accepted Characters

Daniel Vieleir - Sixteen - Single
Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Victarii on Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:17 pm; edited 6 times in total
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tethys
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Posts : 4229
Join date : 2010-05-13
Age : 18

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:14 pm

Nice character! I like the way you put her appearance :]
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:30 pm

Nice profile layout! It all looks good, you just need to have two more sentences in the personality section and then I'll accept Victarii.
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Chase



Posts : 77
Join date : 2011-02-03
Age : 19
Location : Olympus

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:46 pm

Hey Crispy Bacon can you look at my character and see if it is acceptable?
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:48 pm

Accepted! Thanks for listening to what I said, Victarii. xD

And alright, Chase, I will go look at your character right now.
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Krayven



Posts : 12
Join date : 2011-02-01
Location : Standing in the shadow of greatness.

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:36 pm

Um.. I know I'm new and all, but that character seems ridiculously OP (overpowered). There are a few thing's I'd like to point out, so I'll list them as I think of them.

1. I'm confused as to where your character would have acquired her magical items if she grew up alone.
2. I'm also confused as to how you would've survived by yourself as an infant. Your bio lacks necessary detail.
3. With the weapons you've chosen, you're pretty much the god of battle. A bow and arrow for long range, a spear for mid range, and a sword for close range means you've completed the weapon triangle and thus are virtually untouchable except by someone with superior skills, which brings me to my next point.
4. Your "uncanny ability to sense weakness in other emotionally and physically," "adaptability in battle (can use most weapons masterfully)," and "knowing when battle is near" make it so that should anyone to want to fight you, you'd know they were coming and be able to flee the scene, should they confront you, you'd know their weaknesses and therefore be able to easily best them, and should they not have any weaknesses, you'd be able to best them anyway due to your weapon mastery. Not even Ares himself is that good, as he was bested by Percy in the first book.
5. I know it may be possible, but it's highly, HIGHLY improbable that a monster would see a defenseless demigod and not think, "Hey, free meal!"
6. Again, it may be possible, but what god would want to have a child by another god's mortal child? That just doesn't quite sit right. Especially with all the other choices

I apologize if I've overstepped any boundaries, but I really felt this needed to be said.


Last edited by Krayven on Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:20 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Chase



Posts : 77
Join date : 2011-02-03
Age : 19
Location : Olympus

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:40 pm

you are right I just noticed that and I agree. She might even be able to best Clarisse and, gods forbid, Percy!
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tethys
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Age : 18

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:47 pm

As for the weapon, it seems fine. It's fine for a character to have 3 weapons, so why not combine them into one? The character has been in camp for 5 years, so she had plenty of time to acquire a weapon like that.

And for number 2, I agree. At that point in life, she'd need some help to live.

I wouldn't say an ability to sense weakness in other emotionally and physically would be that good. It's over-powered, but the rest seems not too bad.

Actually, I don't think that's allowed with a demigod parent and a god; but I'm not sure about that. Crispy said it was fine except the personality at first, so if it's fine with a admin it's allowed.

And number 5, that's true. But we're not too picky on here about that, and there's always a chance that the monster wasn't completely evil. :]

And, it's fine! Members should be encouraged to speak their opinion if they feel the need too. :]
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:14 pm

Whoa, I didn't really notice any of that until you pointed them out, Krayven. Thanks for that, and sorry for overlooking all the stuff. No boundaries were overstepped, by the way, helping people with their characters is always appreciated!

Honestly, I'm not too worried about the grew-up-by-herself thing. I'm guessing she mostly lived on the streets or stole to keep herself alive as most orphaned children do. I've seen plenty of profiles with histories like it. xD

Otherwise, I, myself, don't mind much of the other things mentioned other than the points mentioning the talents. I do agree that the talents may be a little overdone. Maybe toning down on them a little bit might make her a little less overpowered. Although I'm not so sure about the first and third talent - they seem a little like the powers of a demigod whose godly parent would not be Ares.
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Alec



Posts : 250
Join date : 2011-01-15
Age : 24

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:30 pm

Okay, while many questions have already been raised (thanks Krayven) I've gotta ask about the "black wolf like monster."

1. What is this creature? Is it a wolf? A wolf/something hybrid? Is it like part hellhound or something? What is it?

2. Why would this creature (I assume that when they met it was wild, nowhere near tame) help the girl and not try to tear her face off? Wolf-like monster vs. young girl who, at this point probably has no skill with weaponry? You tell me who wins. I'm betting on the monster.

3. What keeps her in control of this creature? I can't imagine a young girl could tame a big monster and keep it under control.
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Chase



Posts : 77
Join date : 2011-02-03
Age : 19
Location : Olympus

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:37 pm

well, maybe the Roman camp polar opposite of Chiron sent it.. Um I forget her name but it is the wolf lady that trained jason and all the other roman heroes. she may have sent one of her subjects...
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tethys
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:38 pm

Interesting idea xD
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Chase



Posts : 77
Join date : 2011-02-03
Age : 19
Location : Olympus

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:48 pm

Thanks and I think this might be a way to punish the hybrid because maybe it fell in love with a hellhound and (INSERT ROMAN WOLF LADIES NAME HERE) punished her for falling in love in the first place(AND WITH A HELLHOUND?) by serving a GREEK hero. A GREEK ONE!
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tethys
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 11:00 pm

...Lupa, I think it was. Well, that's an interesting theory xD
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Chase



Posts : 77
Join date : 2011-02-03
Age : 19
Location : Olympus

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 05, 2011 11:04 pm

YES THATS THE NAME! Thanks wolves are my favorite animal, now i am going to ground myself because I can't believe I forgot that... :(
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Krayven



Posts : 12
Join date : 2011-02-01
Location : Standing in the shadow of greatness.

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:29 am

So I'm guessing the acceptance of this character is being suspended until the issues are addressed and corrected, right?
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tethys
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Mon Feb 07, 2011 3:22 pm

It's accepted once an admin says accepted ;]
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:21 pm

Yes, I actually don't see that many things wrong with the character, so she could probably still role play Victarii. The ability to tell when a battle draws near probably won't work, because half the time, the members themselves do not know when the next battle will be. Besides, they're in the middle of a war, so the chance of a battle is always there. Making her able to sense weakness in others all the time would be considered godmodding, and because that's against the rules, she can't really do it.
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Victarii



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Age : 21
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:19 am

its a easily failing ability to tell when battle is near, its like she thinks its so cool but she can only really tell when its painstakingly obvious, she over assumes her powers and she will brag about it and thats why there on there when really she's not that advanced (sorry i didn't explain that better i had a image in my head) and also i'm very intrigued to hear your suggestions and i'm not sure what you need me to change.)
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:59 am

I think that it's fine now, but if you want to look for more things to improve in the profile, you could look through most of the posts on the first page for suggestions.
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Victarii



Posts : 161
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 21
Location : ---

PostSubject: New Character: Calista   Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:45 pm

Name
Calista Shella
Age:
17
Birthday:
20 February
Gender:
Female
God Parent:
aphrodite
Mortal Parent:
James Shella
Years in Camp:
2
Brief History:
1) Her mother named her, and her name means The most beautiful one
2) Her father raised her, it seemed that she was less his daughter, but more and more light hearted.
3) She is very proud and vain, but hates fighting and can usually just talk [or flirt] her way out of any situation
4) after many years of her father putting her in schools she would just fail out of or ditch class to many times she was brought to camp half blood
5) Calista was put in mainly boarding schools in greece, where she would speak the language that came easily to her, so she never had her dyslexia cause her issues, she took french, and a lot of classes relating to mythology and fashion.


Physical Appearance:


Eyes:
Silver
Hair:
long straight and blonde
Skin Color:
fair
Body Build:
Lean and Voluptuous
Style:
Punk-Chick
Makeup:
Natural Shades of eyeshadow
Jewelry:
ear-ring.
Accessories:
none

Personality:

She is sensual and promiscuous, and cannot for the life of her seem to accept that anyone other than her mother could possibly be prettier than her. She is usually sweet and loving but has a witchy side that secretly wants all other females to go to the underworld. usually she flirts just as a friendly thing, but when she is serious, she can be quite dangerous.

Pets:

pets are a pain to take care of, why would she waste her time?


Talents:

1) Alluring men to do her whim or fall in love with her. This is not "Charm-speaking" but it is just she has a extremely good way with words
2) Able to talk herself out of many situations


Weapons:
a small dagger with a ruby shaped like a heart held between her breast (Perfect hiding place)

Other:
She has met her mother on a couple of occasions when she was young, and seems perfectly ok with being a demigod









Last edited by Victarii on Fri Jul 15, 2011 6:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:21 pm

Accepted, but she should probably have some limits role played out when she's seducing men. xD
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Victarii



Posts : 161
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Age : 21
Location : ---

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Fri Feb 25, 2011 6:09 pm

She will have limits. XD I just had to make a flirty daughter of aprodite, it just seemed so fun
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Feb 26, 2011 10:28 am

Alright, she's good then. xD
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Victarii



Posts : 161
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 21
Location : ---

PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Sat Apr 16, 2011 11:45 pm

Celina Dastal

Age/Birthday: november eleventh she is 13
Gender: Female
God Parent: nyx
Mortal Parent: Gerrard Dastal
Claimed: Yes
Year-Round or Summer: year-rounder
Fatal Flaw: To help someone in need she would end anything else around her
Years in Camp: 8
Physical apperance: Shockingly blue eyes and midnight black hair. She is thin and tall, and has a childlike beauty to her. She wears a victorian style outfit if she can, but as it is, edits her half blood t-shirt to have a lace up area on the back so its tighter and fits well, she wears nice boots and those jeans with all the holes in them, the jeans are midnight black as well
Brief History: She ran away at a young age and found friendship in another demigod. They together tried to lay low, finding places to hide, as she grew up she became mysterious, and began to like the color black more and more. She took over the night watch, and became a night owl, for all reasons nocturnal, she hated sleeping at night and got irritated at the day time. When she got to camp half blood having lost her companion on the way to a monster, it wasn't long before she was claimed by the goddess Nyx
Personality: Despite her liking of the nighttime, she is not a dark person, she is sweet and compassionate and also a great caretaker, her friends usually ended up leaning on her because of this, she was very intuitive and could analyze a situation and give good logical advice. Her instinct is to take care of others, and she is probably the best at it. She has a huge heart and cannot stand things like battle or world-wide sadness without getting physically ill. So bieng a half blood is really hard on her.
Pets: a black cat that follows her around all the time
Talents: intuitive, compassionate, nocturnal
Weapons: she has a vial of poison around her neck, that also turns into a blade with poison in the hilt, the poison is from the depths of hell, and has very few cures


Last edited by Victarii on Sun Apr 17, 2011 12:07 am; edited 3 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Victarii's characters (New Character)   Today at 4:40 pm

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