Am I the ONLY one snowboarding here? {Essie}

I leaned over and kissed him. I remembered now. I didn't want to end this. I could remember everything. In 6 hours. I remembered everything. But I was starved. I pulled awway. "Okay. No more races." I told him. "Now can I get some food?" I asked him. I could only stand so long before I die of hunger. I could barely move though. Getting up and kissing him just for that long, it made my back feel weird. As if there were a million needles stuck there. I kept myself from crying out in pain and I tried to hide the pain. I tried ignoring it. Hopefully he didn't notice...

"Thanks." I said with a smile. I was about to pretty much pig when I noticed that he didn't have anything to eat. "Don't you want anything to eat?" I asked him. He was human too. I bet he hasn't eaten since yesterday. He should be even more hungry.

I just got off the bed and hugged him. I rested my head on his should and started crying. "I-I'm s-so so-r-ry for e-v-everything. Ididn'tmeantoscareyou." I said between sobs. I held him close. Just pouring my heart out. I hoped that he didn't mind that I was getting his shirt wet. I just felt like I couldn't hold it anymore. Even after all that. I couldn't remember who he even was. Heck, a few hours ago, I didn't believe him. Yet he stayed strong. For me. The tears, they didn't stop. I just held him close to me.

I leaned in and kissed him. Even though tears were still rolling down my cheeks. I slid my arms around his neck. Mynose wa stuffy, my eyes were puffy, and I was starving. I didn't care. None of those things mattered right now. None.

I saw a man being chased by monsters. I saw that ahead of the man, was a mini version of me. Blonde hair, grey eyes, same facial features except she looked younger. The girl was screaming in terror as she saw the man trying to fight off these monsters. Then the image changed, there was a boy. With the mini version of myself. He was again running away from the monsters, but he couldn’t fight back. He screamed. The girl tried to keep the monsters away. Then I saw the boy. He was covered in blood. He was still smiling though. “It’s going to be fine Amber. I’m going to be fine. Everything would be fine. He said. Then a half bull half man creature pounced on him and- and- a- I woke up. What were these dreams? What did they mean? Did they happen in real life? Was that girl me? Had I caused all that trouble to the boy? Who was this boy?

I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. Then I looked at Adrian. The only one I could even remember. I couldn’t remember how old I was. I couldn’t remember my own last name. I couldn’t remember if my father was alive. I couldn’t remember how Adrian and I shared moments together. I could only remember things happened. I was afraid to tell him. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore. I saw the pain he was suffering. It was unfair on him. I didn’t deserve someone like him. Even though I couldn’t remember him, even though I didn’t believe him, even though I dared to doubt him, he stood there by my side. Someone like him; should have someone else. Someone who would remember him no matter what. My life was a mess right now. I couldn’t remember anything, my head burned whenever I tried to remember something. Pain shot through my body.

I looked down at him. He was sleeping so peacefully. So carelessly because I remembered him. Because I had made him ‘happy’. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this up though. I didn’t know if I could keep him happy. I didn’t know how much I remembered. Would he leave me? I certainly didn’t want for that to happen. I felt like my heart was hollow. I felt like a million weights were on my back. It was so frustrating. I curled up in a ball and let the tears fall. No sobbing, no sounds, no nothing. Just tears rolling down my cheeks. Just the tears.

I felt like slapping myself. I shouldn't be crying. I shouldn;t be pitying myself. Others can't remember a single thing from their lives. They were fine. Yet I was here, moping about my own life. Being a drama queen. Thinking about myself. Adrian must have it worse. Seeing him like that, that he remembered every single detail, but I didn't remember. He gave me his heart. Yet I didn't remember that. I didn't know that I had it.

'It was all my fault' I told myself. It was ALL MY FAULT. Those words, they peirced through my heart. As if someone stabbed a knife through myself. Who was I? Where was I? Why am I here? I asked myself. For a moment. I forgot everything. I slipped away. I felt darkness overcome me. I felt like I was drifting. Drifting far, far away. Into a darkness. Into this light. This shining light. It cut through the darkness. Making everything look like it was glowing.

For a split second, everything felt like it was off my back. I saw scenes of my life. I think. I saw the same man, laughing with me, I saw the same boy and another girl playing with me on the swings somewhere. I saw a tall building that I was flying over in this thing I remembered as a plane. I remember this other girl who bossed me around alot, but I still liked to play with her. I saw a... a... stage with people on it. Like a... a... play. I saw a place alot like the infirmary but with people in white jacket things. I saw the same boy, lying in a bed, smiling. Telling me that everything was going to be alright. I saw the same boy leave in this huge building.... a....an airport. I saw pain in his eyes. I saw sadness.

I felt like I was weightless. I felt free. But there was something holding me back. Adrian I remembered. I remembered his name. His name was the one that troubled me greatly. His name brought up so many questions. My head started to burn, this light, free, careless feeling I had, it dissapeared. It went away. I felt misery. Pain. Why did this happen? Were our memories filled with sadness and sorrow. I saw a room. I saw him laughing. I saw him jumping on a bed and myself. Looking very tired but I still smiled at him.

The scene shifted again. This time, I was lying in a bed with him. Under the covers. We were both talking. Feelings overtook my thoughts. Lust, love, belonging, happiness, and freedom. Those were the feelings that he gave me when we were together. But all those dissapeared as soon as they came. They didn't. They were taken over my confusion. Frustration. A bunch of other feelings.

I felt my chest start hurting. As if I had left my body into this world and it was calling me back. Breathing became harder. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I struggled. I squrmed. I heard the faint heartbeat become slower and slower. It became more faint every time it pumped blood around my body. Chaos rang through me. As if things were dying. As if I was about to give in. no. I thought to myself. I couldn't give in. I couldn't. I had to do this. For Adrian. To keep him from feeling down. To keep his spirits lifted.

I was practically asleep when Adrian came over and told me that she was dying. I quickly checked her pulse. "She needs sersious medical attention. ASAP." I told him.

I was struggling. As if I were trapped in this body. I felt... contained. As if something was holding me back. Every time my heart beat, it was more faint, and my blood raced around my body to keep myself from... passing away. Death. I didn't want death. Where would I go after that? Hell? Heaven? Was there even an afterlife? Was all this religon stuff just things people said to make themselves feel better?

"We need to take her to a hospital. I don't have the right tools to help her at the moment." I tell him.

(TIMESKIP)

"How'd this happen?" the doctor at the hospital asked. "She hurt herself when she was snowboarding." I told him. "So you are her cousin is that correct?" he asked. "Yeah." I replied. "This is Amber Wilson, age 17 correct?" he asked. "Yes." I replied in an exasperated sigh. What the hell would they need to ask next? Was this a suicide attempt? mortals could be so pesky.

"Where is her parent of guardian? I need his consent to perform surgery." the doctor said. I was starting to loose my patience. What the hell? "How about, you help her first. Because from what I know, her heart is failing to pump blood through her veins and she's dying!" I said angrily.

I heard voices. These voices, they didn't ring a bell at all. I heard chatter. Then I heard whispering. This was so confusing. Where was I now? What on earth was happening? Why was I here? This wasn't the informary. I wasn't in my clothes. Where was Adrian? I thought he would be there. He promised me.

"Yeah, just sign here." He said giving the clipboard over to Adrian. Honeslty, this was really starting to annoy me. I would've been done this 'procedure' by now. Her life wouldn't be endangered, and Adrian wouldn't be in peices. I didn't know them personally, but it wasn't fair to them. I would break into peices seeing Emma like this.

"No. Rules are rules." The doctor stated as if he was tired of people asking that. "Someone's grumpy." I muttered as he was out of earshot. I sat down, waiting for Amber's dad to come along.

AMBER'S DAD.
I ran into the emergency section of the hospital. I stopped when I saw Adrian looking ticked off, and another boy who looked annoyed at the staff. My blackberry buzzed, "Where the hell r u? There's a meeting with Adams in half and hour." I rolled my eyes and texted back. "My own daughter is in the emergency room thats what/[/i] I texted back. That woman, even though she was my sister annoyed me to no end sometimes.