dusty8ball's demigod needs looked at please?

Half-Bloods
Name:Mason Olsen
Age/Birthday: 17 Birthday Unknown
Gender: Male
God Parent: hephestus (sorry i dont know how to spell his name)
Claimed: No
Mortal Family: Unknown. Mother died when age 5
Years in Camp:1
Brief History: At the age of two his mother was killed by a hellhound. He didn't know this at the time, by he was a demigod. Not knowing anything, he lived on the street until he ran into a couple of first year campers at Camp Halfblood. He's been looking for answers ever since.
Physical Appearance: He's skinny due to living on the streets. he loves using his hands. he has long dark hair usually pulled up into a ponytail because he never cuts it. he has a scar that wraps around his wrists from a fight with a hellhound.
Personality: he is always calm in the face of anything including tests and training and battle, he always is calculating how to dismantle things or find the enemy weak spot. he is sullen and shy. he also loves being in large crowds butdue to his living on the streets, he has trouble trusting who is real and who is a monster. he is self conscience and cares about his looks. he hates being called a delinquit and a bum.
Fatal Flaw: trust issues
Pets: lizard
Talents: manipulate fire(minimum amount-can summon an apple sized fireball), great b-baller, understands blueprints
Weapons: bronze hammer
Year-Round or Summer: year round
Other: nuthing


for the admins who look at this would it be alright that he is a fire user? if not thats ok i will change him.

Hey, thank you. Is this any better?

^^What they said. ((Good job guys!))

Welcome to camp! I see you've got an amazing concept for a demigod, and as much as I'd like to accept him, there would be needed only a few tricks to help him be fully accepted.

•((Appearance))Would you mind explaining his appearance? Why he has long hair? Did he not cut his hair? Tell me, is he muscular due to training, or is he skinny because of running in the streets?

•Hmmm...would you mind changing the commas(,) into periods(.)?

•((Personality))Why is he afraid of being a freak? Does he need confidence? how can he be everyone's bestfriends, but then again, is sullen and shy? He also needs a little more negative and positive flaws.

•((Fatal Flaw))I don't think he could have that. Unless he couldn't tell a lie, and the same time, he slips with secret keeping. How about trust issues? Or loyalty? Sorry, Honestly honestly doesn't strike me as fatal. :3

•((Talents)) Do you think he could sing? Dance? How about being an artist? Would you mind adding limitatins to his fire controlling? A nice idea though! Keep it up!

•((Weapons))How can nails be, er, deadly exactly? Mind explaining....?

Good job for a newbie! I hope you'd find these points, and what the others said, useful! Please don't feel sad he isn't accepted, but surely, he will be! I'm sure of it, if you'd use the tips! :3

Accepted! Next time can you use proper capitalization at the start of a sentence, please? It'll make your character sheet look much neater and nicer. o w o