"Hit me. Just once. I want to feel something." [Moofles]

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A N N A L E A H [effy] A S H W O O D

"do I ever get to be upset?"

Effy settles herself on the edge of the docks, with a faraway look in her crystal eyes. She swings her legs in the lake's blue waters, subconsciously. She smells the salty, humid air of a storm coming in. Without any intent, she breathes out a sigh. Her mind is somewhere faraway, as usual, and she's as quiet as ever, but, to her, everything is noisy and loud, thoughts bouncing back and forth, interrupting one another and so forth. She tries to clear her head, ridding every painful memory that intrudes her mind, but she can't. She just can't. Everything seems so confusing, so mind-boggling. Effy constantly finds herself absent-mindlessly standing in the middle of chaos, oblivious to what to do. She just blanks out, forgetting what she doing every so often. What is wrong with her these days? She lifts her head skywards, glancing at the thunderclouds, muttering softly to no one in particular, only stating her thoughts. "What is wrong with me?" her eyes glaze over in a mindless state; anyone could call her a zombie by now, but everyone knows the undead aren't real. Her thoughts continue to harass her, questions of her sexuality, self-esteem and even Naomi. Everything returns to her and Naomi. How does she really feel about her?

"do I ever get to be anyone but me?"

"Hit me. Just once. I want to feel something." [Moofles] Tumblr_lmbj0yBV8x1qaz6iso1_500

▷ ▶ naomi ; limos ◀ ◁

Approaching the lake, Naomi thought of everything. She thought of the beautiful people at camp, the amazing, and stupid, people she had met. All of the crazy things. Her mind was cramped with thoughts and such. A sigh left her mouth. Naomi never wanted all of this insanity at camp. Throughout the months, she had been bruised, scratched, and even hospitalized from the battles. Effy kept her sane through all of this. They were best of friends, maybe more. Naomi didn't know, and she was sure Effy didn't. Wrapping her arms around his boney waist, Naomi glanced at some normal flab on her stomach. Why can't I just be... skinny? The thought of being as skinny as the models was racing through her head, and that's how she started her 47th diet.
Hearing the comforting voice of Effy, Naomi picked up her pace. Reaching the friend, Naomi sat down quickly next to the girl.

"Nothing is,"

was her answer, smiling at Effy. Staring at her, Naomi just wanted to hug her. They were so alike, it was crazy to think of. All the time Naomi admired Effy. She was gorgeous, which Naomi never thought of herself as. She kept her eyes locked on Naomi, wondering about her. Them

Guest

A N N A L E A H [effy] A S H W O O D

"do I ever get to be upset?"

Effy, scared stiff, from the unannounced, sudden presence of her best friend (she couldn't even tell you what to label them as), Naomi, breathes in a sigh. "Nothing's wrong with you either." she locks her eyes onto Naomi's, unable to pull herself away. She, oh, she's not so sure. She wants to reach out and pull the blonde closer her to her reach, but she can't. Even though they practically share every secret imaginable, Effy cannot share her feelings. What if they're not completely accurate, after all? The confusion aches her forehead, which know she is subconsciously holding in her palms. She takes another breath, watching the standing water. It's so beautiful out there, so clear, like glass. She wishes she could be that gorgeous. If only she could be like Naomi--tall, perfect, a dream--and that's when she says it, "You're like a dream to me, Nay-Nay." her eyes gleam, in a phantasmal state. she doesn't even think about rephrasing it because this time--this time she's absolutely sure. Effy knows she loves Naomi.

"do I ever get to be anyone but me?"

▷ ▶ naomi ; limos ◀ ◁

Naomi grinned at Effy, wondering how she could even think of that.Nothing wrong with me? Pfft. She thought of this while mentally listing the things wrong about herself. Ugly, fat, uber tall... Anything she could list. Her eyes wandered off into space. Then, they stopped. Minna's eyes darted to stare at Effy, and her smile widened. Those words... They made her happy. Especially from Effy. Reaching out, Naomi wrapped her arms around what was the one thing that made her smile, and hugged Effy. Hugged her as tight as possible. No words, they weren't needed. And as she continued to hug, Naomi realized something. She loved Effy.

-omgpostfail-

Guest

A N N A L E A H [effy] A S H W O O D

"do I ever get to be upset?"

Effy feels the warmth of Naomi's beautiful grin. "You're my Naomi." the sudden hug catches her off-guard, but she only leans into it. She whispers close to Nay's ear, pushing aside her stray blonde hairs behind her ears, "I wish I could marry you." she says, her words slipping from her mouth, before she can pull them back and shut her trap. Effy's eyes roll, "This bull is getting too lovey-dovey." she releases the blonde from the embrace. "But you need to know someone loves you, okay?" she pushes a random strand of her out of Naomi's eyes, so she has a better view of her face. Everyone has flaws, but Effy loves Naomi's.

"do I ever get to be anyone but me?"

▷ ▶ naomi ; limos ◀ ◁

Smiling still, Naomi wished she could hold on to Effy for forever. She was the only thing keeping her from crashing, just like everyone expected her to. Letting go of Effy, Naomi rested her lips to speak.

"I love ya, Effy, no matter how lovey-dovey this gets,"

she noted, keeping her eyes glued on Effy. Blinking to let her hair be moved, Naomi nodded to Effy.

"And as long as someone loves me, I want you to know that someone loves you, too,"

she replied, knowing that this is how she felt. There was no doubt now. Naomi was in love. It scared her. She wasn't like this, this wasn't like her. She accepted the fact, and smiled once more.

Guest

effy A S H W O O D

"do I ever get to be upset?"

Effy's smile widens and she pulls away, only to stare at Naomi's face. A silence fills the space between them and Eff can't look away. Everything about Nay-Nay made her happy; better than a happy meal. Effy looks down, feeling her cheeks redden. She's not completely sure why she's feeling so embarrassed. After all, it's Naomi. Naomi's one of the only people she can feel comfortable around. Stupid human reflex.

"do I ever get to be anyone but me?"

-- What a sick excuse for a post.

» i feel sad D:
» I feel so bad.
» Why Do I Feel So Alone? (OPEN)
» The Sea, Why Does It Feel Like a Stranger? {Crispers}
» can you feel it? --- [chaos]