The story you're about to read is based off of my life. Does that mean everything is true? No. Does that mean everything isn't true? Also no. That's up to you to decide. The names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of the people I am going to mention; friends, enemies, teachers, general classmates, crushes. That's about it. Enjoy the story!
Chapter 1 l Starting in the Middle
Most books like to start at the beginning. You want to know something I learned from my acting teacher? The action starts in the middle. I'm not going to start in the dead middle, or even kind of close. This story will start towards the beginning, but it's not like school has just started. We're a couple months in, and things have started to change; feelings, friends, grades, even the way I spend my free time. You've guessed it. It's December.
I jumped into the car, sitting shot-gun, with my backpack slung around my left shoulder. My backpack was an Abercrombie bag, one of the purse like bags just big enough to fit in all of my books. It could get crowed and heavy, but at least it worked. My mom was yelling at my sister, and probably me, but my mind was so clustered. I couldn't concentrate. Dash was on my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. He was just standing there, expecting me to do something. I tried to read his expression, but it was impossible. Who knew what Dash ever thought? I used to be sure that his head was filled with nothing, but it was around this time that I started to think it was something more. I started to think that he had feelings and thoughts, and that he could have crushes or goals, or even dreams! It all made me want to squeal.
The old, white mini van drove off, and I sighed. I didn't much care for my car, or the place it was taking me, except for the fact that it was taking me to Dash. The box like monster of a car drove for a mere five minutes before pulling up at the elementary school where my mom and Dash's mom worked. Dash would be in the gym. By now I had figured out our schedule. We were to go to the gym every morning and then play a game of wall ball, then sit and talk. Of course, Cassie and Jarred would be there too, but Dash was the only one I saw.
Sure enough, as I leaped out of the car and sprinted to the small gym, Dash was there, along with Jarred Rift, the PE teachers son, and Cassie Corral, Dash's best friend. It always found it odd that Dash proffered Cassie, a girl, over Jarred, a boy, but I never thought to question it. It was order. As you will find out, we were organized people who never thought to question the status quo, until later.
"Hey Amelia," Jarred greeted warmly, and I remembered how nice he was. Oh Jarred, soon enough he would find a girl, I would make it happen, but just not me. I had to be with Dash. That was how my mind set itself, and I didn't see a reason to set it straight. Then I noticed Jarred called me Amelia. He was making fun of me, even though he said it in an extremely nice way.
"Hello Jare-Jare," I retorted, making fun of the nickname Jarred's old girlfriend had given him. When Jarred blushed, I knew I had done my job, and Jarred got his comeuppance. I smiled as I walked past the baffled Jarred and set my stuff down next to Dash and Cassie's.
"Lia, good at comebacks, huh?" Cassie joked with a smile, and I merely nodded. I liked Cassie and all, but she was my least favorite person in our small group. She was always getting in between Dash and I, and she obviously had a crush on him, even though they were practically siblings, joined at the hip.
"What's up, Lia?" Dash greeted. As I walked past, I gave him a highfive, probably blushing as I did so. Dash was just so perfect! I couldn't figure out why I had never seen it before. I starred at my hand for a moment before returning my gaze to the only reason I was hear. Dash smiled when he caught me staring, but it was only a friendly smile. I thought I wanted to play the game, which wasn't exactly true. "Let's have Cassie and Lia be team captains today. I have a new game in mind. Pick based on speed. Lia, you pick your teammate."
I grinned when Dash put me in charge. I could pick him! With Dash on my team, I would surely win. He was the fastest kid I knew! "I pick you, get over here you big lug!" I pointed to Dash, then jutted my thumb back, saying 'Get over here.' Dash simply nodded. These morning teams were no big deal to him, and they switched off constantly, but they mattered to me. I cherished the days when I got to be on Dash's team. They were the greatest.
Jarred fist-bumped Cassie as he joined her, and soon Dash explained the game. Football. Of course. I wasn't into football, it was a guy thing, but for Dash I pretended to be excited. We did our handshake, which was a rocket when done correctly, and I spiraled the ball to Dash. Everyone was short except for Cassie, and it was funny watching her try to catch us. She even tried to keep up with Jarred, which almost made me laugh, because we all knew he was more likely to score.
All too soon the bell rang, which started the elementary schoolers say, and us 6th graders headed out. Each of us grabbed our backpacks, and we walked out as the 5th graders walked in. PE first period, or first thing for them, seemed like the worst, but that had been the case for me, too. Well, in 5th grade. Dash waved to a couple 5th graders, and Jarred and Cassie's waved to their siblings, but I just walked out. I didn't know any of them.
School was a blur, mostly because I didn't have any classes with Dash, except for science. We were getting new seats, and everyone was praying they got to sit with their best friend. As for me, I found Remi's gaze from across the room, and we were in agreement. Though Remi and I were short-time friends, we had quickly bonded over baseball. She was popular, or could have been, but chose to hang out with people like me. I wasn't unpopular, but if I was being honest, I wasn't popular. I just hang out with the popular kids. They were my friends. I was on a whole different planet though, a very lonely one on which Dash didn't tread on. That was the worst part.
As my science teacher, Mrs. Welsh, called out names, one by one, it pained me to see Remi but on the front row table. She was on the isle, and in the table in the front of the class room. She shrugged at me, then started giggling with the girl at her new table, named Dani. There were multiple Dani's in our school, half of them spelling their names Dani, the other half using Dany. Both meant the same thing, popular. I couldn't believe Remi would even talk with the most popular of all the Dani's, and it made me want to yell. That was until I got put at my table.
Next to me, on my right, was a girl named Jackie. Jackie waved at me, before turning to the boy on her right, James. On the other side of me was one of the popular boys; one that didn't care about his grades, his future, or his social life yet excelled in fame. I wanted to groan, I wanted to yell, I wanted to punch Mrs. Welsh for putting me next to him. Jesse, the boy, looked over at me, and I could tell we weren't going to get along. His fiery red hair was cut short and cropped into a triangle on top of his head. His brown freckles dotted his face, but weren't as plentiful as most gingers. He wasn't bad looking, but he was your typical slacker. Sitting next to him was going to be torture, considering that I was stuck next to him for the rest of the year.
"You're Amelia, right?" Jesse asked, and I soon realized he was talking to me. My ears perked up when they caught my name, and I turned around automatically. That was just natural for anyone who heard their name called.
"Lia, but yes. That's me." I turned to face Jesse, and I looked him straight in the eyes as I did so. "And you are . . . Joey?" I knew Jesse's name. Everyone did. Still, I wanted to pretend that I didn't know his name when he knew mine.
Jesse chuckled. "Nice try. Just this morning you sat by me. You know, when the vice principal/warden was giving us a speech." Jesse looked straight back in my eyes, and I almost wanted to back down. Even so, I didn't. I just starred at him. I did NOT like Jesse Jones. (The real guy's name has the same letters, so I thought I'd add that.)
"Well, I mean, your first name. Jesse is your middle name. Everyone knows that." As I talk to this hot shot, I roll my eyes, wanting science to end. I hated my new seat, and Remi seemed to be loving hers. "I was asking if Joey is your first name, because you called me Amelia. Everyone knows I hate to be called that."
Jesse shrugged. "I didn't know that. Well, let's start over." Jesse smiled at me, showing off all of his pearly white teeth, each straight and in place. I hated it when people like him seemingly only smiled to rub their mouth in other peoples faces. Jesse didn't even seem to notice I hated him! He was thickheaded, I can tell you that.
"Yeah. Let's." I didn't say this happy. I shouted it at him. "I'm Lia, and you're to keep your mouth shut." Well, maybe I wasn't proper enough to say keep your mouth shut. Anyway, I crossed my arms over my chest and sat silently through the rest of the day. I was sure my face was extremely red, and I heard Jesse's chuckles to prove it. Jesse's skinny, average height self soon got up and I figured he was planning on ditching for the rest of the day. The entrance of the principal soon confirmed my suspicions.
As the day ended, I walked to the elementary school with Dash. He was going on about PE, which he almost always talked about, but soon caught sight of Jarred, who Dash liked chatting with. Apparently Jarred knew more about PE than I, for his mom was a coach. I always rolled my eyes whenever Dash brought this up, because I knew Dash just occasionally liked talking to boys. He bumped into me, and then quickly apologized. I fell to my knees, and I could tell Dash was horror struck. My knee started bleeding, and the concrete had most likely left a scar on the other leg.
"Lia! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!" Dash was running in circles, unknowing to what he had to do to make it up to me.
"It's fine, just help me up." I rolled my eyes, suddenly understanding why Dash was in on level classes. He had always seemed smart to me, though it was probably just a trick of the mind. Even so, I still liked him. How could I not? He was just perfect, and you don't have to judge everything on smarts.It's kind of rude to do so.
"Okay, sure. I didn't mean to push you down, I mean, you were in my way, but I didn't mean to push you down," Dash said while panting. He always did this weird thing where he would give a good, a bad, a good. I didn't understand it, but it was Dash, and that's how I would always know he hadn't changed. I liked him the way he was. I didn't want him to change.
"Thanks. I'm okay now, you can go over to Jarred." As Dash ran off, I sighed, That was the stupidest walk ever. Normally, we at least said goodbye. but Dash had disappeared from view by now. He was already up and over the hill, while I sat at the base, feeling abandoned, but knowing I wasn't. People thought they were quiet walkers, but they weren't. That's why, when a hand touched my shoulder, I didn't jump. "Hey," I managed, sounding exhausted. I wasn't, of course, but being left by the guy you like makes you feel that way.
"What's wrong with you?" I could recognize that voice anywhere. Taylor and I had been best friends since third grade, which was when I moved to this town. He was my go-to-guy, and I was his go-to-girl. I couldn't remember a time we hadn't told each other everything, even the time I liked him, and he thought he liked me back. Nothing happened of course, because we were best friends.
"Dash just left," I explained, falling onto my back, my arms resting on my ribcage, the clouds moving up ahead. My hair stuck out from under me in crazy direction, the concrete that had once been bellow me now replaced by grass. "He pushed me down." I pointed to my knee, which was still blood red. "He didn't say goodbye," my voice cracked when I said this. I couldn't believe it. I actually cared a lot about Dash not saying bye to me, enough to make me cry.
Taylor chuckled, and lay on the grass next to me, taking the same position I was in. "Don't let it bother you too much, Dash is a jerk." Taylor brought up his arm, and just when I thought he was going to put it under my neck and on my shoulders, he rolled over more and made me smell his armpit. Taylor then went into a laughing fit. I hated it when he did that. It was what made most girls go, "Awwww!" They also pet his shoulder, and laid a firm hand across his chest. I hated it when people did that to Taylor. Sure, he was good looking. He was smart too, in all of my classes, but he wasn't a puppy. That's what most girls treated him like, and I hated it. He was one of the popular kids, like Jesse, who chose not to be popular, like Remi. Taylor hung out with me, like Remi, and lost popularity points for it.
"Taylor!" I screamed, laughing along. I rolled over to my side, and so did Taylor. We were facing each other, extremely close like we did a lot. When we did this, we knew the other had a secret. This was how we shared our secrets, so close we could smell each others' face soap. "You go first, Tay."
Taylor swallowed hard, like this secret was huge. Though I was sure it was nothing like telling Taylor that I liked him, my friend was nervous to tell me. Then, he closed his eyes, and started to talk, his lips so close to mine I felt uncomfortable lying here for the first time in all my life. I was never scared to be so close to Taylor. We were amazing friends, the BFFL kind, and I didn't want to give that up. So, I just kept still, smelling his minty breath. "I'm going to ask her out."
My jaw dropped, and my strawberry gum almost fell out. "Are you serious, Mr. Fink? You can't be! You are? I thought you weren't allowed, since she gets in trouble a lot, and stuff like that. I thought you were only allowed to date me?" My voice was gaining anger. I was excited for Taylor, and I wanted him to be happy. I knew I had lost my chance to control who he dated when we stopped liking each other in the summer, but I didn't not think Sophie Green was right for Taylor Fink; my Tay.
"I'm not, but I'm going to lie, okay? I really like her, Lia. Is it hard to believe that? Why aren't you being supportive? Remember when you told me that you liked me? What did I say?" Taylor was angry too, and I flinched back at his words.
"You told me you were gay." I stared angrily into my BFFL's eyes, letting him know how I felt about his harsh tone.
Taylor nodded, less angry, more understanding. "Which I wasn't, but you were still supportive in my decision. You thought I was being serious, and you told me that I should like whoever I want to like, as long as I stayed true to myself. You told me that you loved me, and wanted me to be myself! Where's that Lia now?" Taylor was almost crying, and I couldn't let a man, my best man, cry in public. I needed to stop him and protect his reputation.
"Hush, hush. I'm sorry, Tay. I really am. But, I still love you, if that makes you feel any better. I just don't want you to do this to yourself. Sophie will say yes, and she'll . . . She'll replace me." I really started crying then. I didn't want to lose Taylor to a girl he was dating. I knew Sophie would take my place instantly, despite what Taylor said to reassure me.
"I'll do anything to prove to you that you'll always be my best friend. No one will replace you. I'll even do this," Taylor whispered, his minty-fresh breath blowing on my face as he talked. Suddenly, Taylor's lips met mine. Friends weren't supposed to do this. I wanted to protest, but I had wanted this kiss for so long last year, and now I had it. I couldn't just end it. So, we lay next to each other, kissing for a couple of seconds, then pulling apart. I was glad Taylor was the one to do so, because I didn't want to ruin his moment.
Suddenly, my heart beat at a rapid pace. My eyes saw Taylor differently, not as a friend, but more. I knew this feeling. Great, just as Taylor was going to ask out another girl, he kissed me. He made me want to be with him. It was the same feeling I had had towards him last year, but now it was more instantly. My feelings required no thinking.
"Friends don't do that!" I shouted in protest. I wanted to kick him, but I saw something in Taylor's eyes. "Were you talking about Sophie when you said, 'I'm going to ask her out?'" My head was spinning. I was so confused! I thought I liked Dash, but I also thought I liked Taylor.
"No. Lia Cliff, will you be my girlfriend?" Taylor sat up, resting on his left arm, while I did the same, resting on my right arm. Taylor's eyes were filled with longing, and I didn't want to do anything to hurt his sweet self.
"I . . . I don't know." I collected myself, picked up my bag, and ran almost half way home.
Chapter 2 l Facing the "Issue"
I walked into the gym the next day, my face bright red, my hair hanging in my face. My eyes were trained on Dash. For some reason, I don't know why, I didn't like him as much. My strong desire to be with him was replaced by a strong desire to be his best friend. I knew it was because I didn't know what to think of my relationship with Taylor, but I still wanted Dash. I knew Taylor would get over me soon enough, and if I still liked him, my heart would just be crushed.
"Hey Lia," Jarred said, smiling. He was actually happy though, so I just waved back. He wasn't in his bad mood, the one he had been in yesterday. That could only mean that Carly had said yes. I was happy for them, especially since both Carly and Jarred were close friends, but I hated being surrounded by lovey-dovey stuff. It made my skin crawl.
"Hi Lia," Cassie called for the other side of them gym. She was fishing the tennis ball out of a huge tub. I didn't really want to reply, even though I was feeling friendlier towards her now that my feelings for Dash weren't as strong. So, I just waved at her, like I had at Jarred.
"Yo Cliff!" Dash said, holding out his fist. I bumped him with my fist, and we did our rocket. Dash's smile was so big and elaborate, I knew something was up. Something I was missing. It was at that moment, before Dash told me the news, that I decided I was going to say yes to Taylor. "Did you hear the news?"
I titled my head to the side. How many people had Taylor told? I figured he would keep it quiet until I gave him an answer; most likely a yes. Taylor knew I would probably come back with a yes, and that's why he let me go. So, why had he told others? Unless . . . Unless there was news besides our maybe hook up! "No . . . What?"
Cassie and Jarred exchanged excited looks, smiling when they looking back at Dash. It made me angry that they would just tell me! I really wanted to know, since I figured it had something to do with Taylor. Tay was the rumor mill, and everyone was addicting to his stories.
"Taylor and Sophie are a thing. Isn't it great!" Dash was beaming, his face lighting up like a flashlight had turned on in his head. "He told me that he told you what he was going to do before school, and just asked her out shortly after!" Dash was so gullible, and I made a mental note of that.
"Are you sure that's true?" I asked, ready to question Dash, even if it meant angering him. If this was how Tay was going to be, I was going back to liking Dash. At least in Dash I found honesty! Taylor was just a lying hot shot, exactly like Jesse. He was no better. At least Jesse hadn't lied to me. Taylor, on the other hand, had just lost my trust.
"Sure he's sure! Dash knows what he's talking about!" Cassie broke in, defending her friend. Dash was my friend too, so I wanted to scream at Cassie. She always wanted to be my crushes only friend, and she was big enough to block him from the rest of the world. I just hoped that never actually happened. If Dash left my world, I had nothing; absolutely nothing. Taylor was gone, as far as I was concerned.
"I know. But . . . But . . ." I felt like I had just lost a big part of me. If I didn't have Taylor's honesty, whose did I have? Dash answered that for me.
"He told you something different, didn't he? That's so like Taylor; lying to the ones he loves. I'm sorry, but hey, you have me. Tell me everything. Cassie, Jarrod, why don't you go to the middle school. I know it's early, but Reggie should be there by now." Dash shooed the two others away, despite Cassie's protest, and sat down. He patted the ground next to him, and I sat there. "Tell me everything," Dash began.
I shook my head no. I had sworn to Taylor that I would never tell anyone anything he told me, unless I had his permission. I couldn't tell Dash what my old BFFL had told me, despite how much I wanted to. I was literally having to jam my mouth shut to keep from telling him.
"Come on, Lia! Tell me! You can tell me anything." Dash looked deep into my eyes, the way Taylor had, and I found myself getting closer. My face was as close to his as it normally was to Taylor. This was new for me, and I really wanted to tell Dash now.
"I can't tell you, Dash. I'm sorry." I pulled my face away and stared back, feeling solid as a rock. If I could resist Dash, I could resist anyone. That included Taylor, when I saw him again. If I saw him again. "But, you have to help me."
Dash raised an eyebrow. "With what, exactly?" Dash liked to help others, which was probably why we were the only ones in this room at the time. He couldn't resist. It was like there was some ancient curse on him, and even though I knew there I wasn't, I liked to think there was.
Smiling deviously, I bit my lip and smirked at Dash. I looked extremely playful, and dangerous to even look at. From just looking at me Dash shrunk back. He knew that whatever I had planned, it wasn't exactly pleasant. Really, I just wanted backup when I went into the building. No doubt I would get swarmed with people wondering if I heard the news. Like I said, I'm not unpopular, I'm just not one of the popular kids, in the awkward popular group. I tend to be in the upper middle class.
Dash stood up, grabbing my arm, and pulling me along as we walked. I wanted to protest, but since I had lost even more faith in Taylor, I enjoyed the feel of his hand touching me. "Well, if you aren't going to tell me how to help you, than we aren't just going to wait here so we can get stuck with the bad seats again."
Laughing, I broke away from Dash. He was holding to door open for me, but I didn't want to force myself to walk outside of the building. I was too visible outside of the elementary sanctuary. If people wanted to talk to me, they would easily know where to find me. Of course it was just my luck. I finally think my life is perfect, and it doesn't even last for a full minute. Books set you up for happiness, when in the end, hardly anything worked out as planned. Hardly anything fit together like it was supposed to. Instead of being a perfect puzzle, life consisted of pieces from several different puzzles, fitting together awkwardly to give you the emotional roller coaster life so often brought. That wasn't what was advertised in romance novels. Nothing even remotely close to the type of love shown on the big screen happened to everyday lovers. It drove me crazy. Why didn't they tell people the typical love story when writing books?
For the whole 5 minute walk to middle school, Dash kept trying to force a conversation. I didn't really want to say anything, and I'm sure Dash didn't want to hear the hurtful things I had to say towards his friend. My stupid ex-BFFL. Whilst seeing Dash was always the highlight of my day, today, our meeting was meaningless.
As he opened yet another door for me, I quickly hurried in. "Lia, wait!" Dash grabbed my wrist and gently pulled me back to him, staring almost angrily into my eyes. "I can talk to him, if it's what you want. You just have to tell me what's wrong." I didn't comply with the blonde's request. My anger with Taylor didn't need to be spread to my feelings for Dash.
"That's sweet, Dash, really . . . " I began, "but I'm fine. Come on, I can see Cassie looking for you." I pulled my arm away yet again, leaving Dash looking slightly hurt.
"Oh, okay. Got it."
(MORE TO COME, IF PEOPLE LIKE IT)
Subject: Life When Things Get Real: A Look Inside the Life of Me (Kind of) 
Fri May 06, 2011 9:37 pm
