cupramen123456789's character ( waiting approval)

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

HALF BLOODS
Name: Edward Park
Age/birthday: 13
Gender: male
Years in camp: first year!
God parent: Hermes
Mortal parent:Mcklean Park
Physical appearance: race:Asian, black hair with a scar on his face. A mark on his arm. 60 pounds 4 feet tall
Personality: Hyper, like a monkey creative like a artist. Frendilly and impatient likes food and stelling.
Pets: Peguses his name is terrorplest
Weapons: A coin If it's head it becomes a 3 and a half long sword made out of steel and celstial bronze If tail turns to a long javelin made out of celstial bronze. It's called double flip.
Talents: Laughing, steeling flying with a flying shooes and playing soccer.
Flaw: He thinks he is always right if one thing is wrong and don't match with his, he losses confident.
Other: His brother decided to go to roman camp.
HALF BLOODS
Name: Jason Krawood
Age/birthday: 14
Gender: Male
Years in camp: 3 years
God parent: Nyx
Mortal parent: Komeo Krawood
Physical appearance: Has a blue eyes and a tan skin with black hair a symbol of water on his arm. 65 pounds 4 feet long
Personality: nice and gentel sometimes a little stubborn likes food.
Pets: A scorpion name Eymaru
Weapons: a special bronze made out of night mare , celstial bronze and a little of styigon iron it's a dagger if it's night it becomes a sword Hepestus made it for Nyx. It s called Night Max
Talents swiming soccer baseball can see through black stuffs
Flaw He thinks he can controll the night
Other He lost his memorys so he didn't know any thing.
Other:

First of all, do you mean (I'm on appearance right now :]) "Asian, black hair..." or that he has Asian black hair? For details, you need to state the simple stuff. Height, weight, skin color, eye color, etc.

Hyper? How's he hyper (ADHD hyper or like a monkey)? And how's he creative? Shy, I see. Does he ever get nicer around friends? And being hyper yet shy around new people don't mix. Pick one or the other.

Lizards. Can't. Breathe. Fire.

I like the coin idea, but the weapons see too powerful. A little Gary-Stu-ish.

You mean stealing and writing letters? And, he probably has more talents!

I'd like more info on his brother.

Overall, seems Gary-Stu and quickly written. Try taking more time on him [:

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

Can I get approved now please? I fixed some and my brother I don't know he disspeard when he was 3rd grade leaving a message that he went to the roman camp so I really don't know about my brother.

He's even more Gary-Stu now.

I'd also like to see what skin color he has, and way more info on personality.

Please, be patient [:

There is no one on now who can accept your character anyways. A moderator and admin are the only ones who can. Just be patient and fix up your character so that when they do come on you can get accepted. My characters are also waiting to be accepted.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

Well his a Asian. He has a tan skin color

Then mention that. Not all Asian's have the same skin color :3

Explaining his weapon more would also be nice. Music is right, it it very Gary Stu, meaning that he is uber powerful.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

So you want me to change the wepons or what should i change? Should I change the wepons both or what or do you want it weaker?

The coin idea as hiding a couple weapons is really cool, but your kind of over doing it. Also, Styigon iron usually only belongs to the demigods of Hades, considering that it helps channel their power.

And, he needs flaws.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

What's a flaw?

It's like a weakness. For example, one of my characters is very proud and thinks highly of himself, so his flaw would be underestimating others.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

Ok I fixed it and I changed my god parent to Hades.
Is anything wrong?

Changing you character to Hades creates more problems. You have to ask an Admin if you can be a child of the big three.

Your coin weapon is still really powerful. Flipping a coin so you can instantly destroy an enemy or make them a friend is too much. I would suggest that your coin turns into two weapons only, and one of them not being a shotgun.

Talents might need to be explained as well. What does "telling the death" mean?

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

now finally is there anything wrong?

There is always room for improvement with any character, but it looks fine to me.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

So I wait untill somebody approves me right?

Yeah, an admin, blue username, or a mod, pink username, has to approve your character.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

Can't you approve me? Your character is pink Chilaili datugther of Boreas, Isnt
that pink? Sorry if it's not.

I'm not a mod or an admin; I was just trying to help. I'm still waiting for my characters to be approved as well.

And yes, one of my characters is Chilaili.

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

I added a character um I know the code word so I pm to the admin so I will be child of Hades!

Cupramen, they mean usernames. Your username is white, jehowell's is white, mine is green [:

Posts : 18 Join date : 2010-11-18 Age : 27

Oh ok thanks any way

Guest

Both Approved However we haven't made any plans for any Roman Items yet, so don't get to drawn into that idea.

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