Zoo (Private)

Finnegan bites his lip as he stares at his steering wheel. No matter how hard he tries, he can't bring himself to look at Toby. He's too ashamed of what he did. He takes a deep breath, and begins to tap his fingers against the wheel as he tries to think of something to say. Each time he opens his mouth to speak, he shuts it almost immediately realizing that what he was going to say just sounds stupid.What does one say when they've screwed up their relationship? Well he knows what to say, but the question is does it even work after the what, third time? At this point it's almost as if the word sorry has no meaning.

Taking a deep breath, Finnegan forces himself to shift so he's facing Toby. He then bites his lip as his eyes begin to water. No, don't cry. You haven't said anything yet, cry later. "I-i don't know anymore"he says quietly as his gaze falls down to Toby's hands. He wishes that right now they could be walking through the zoo, holding hands. But no, he had to mess everything up. He should have kept his mouth shut, and quietly explained red pandas, instead of yelling. That was an asshole move.

"All I do is ruin everything"he mumbles as his mind begins to flashback to their previous dates. The mall, where he had run off and refused to talk to Toby even when the boy hadn't done anything and it had been all Oliver's fault. The picnic at the beach where he had sat there staring at the fire when it nearly burned him alive. The woods, oh god the woods. At the thought of everything that happened at the woods, the tears begin to stream down his face. And he reaches up and attempts to rub them away. Then there was today, oh gods he doesn't even want to think about today. If he could erase today out of his mind, it would be great.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do that this point"he says as his voice trails off, tears still streaming down his face. It's true he doesn't know. "I'd say we should forget. But can one forget after all this?"he whispers as he begins to pick at the hem of his shirt, pulling on a loose thread. "I got you a gift"he blurts out, suddenly remembering the stuffed animals. The red panda and the fox. Would Toby find it funny, or would he get mad? Biting his lip, Finnegan reaches into the backseat and grabs the bag.

He places the bag in his lap and stares at it a bit debating if he should do it. "I don't know what I was thinking, but I guess I thought it was sort of funny? I hope you feel the same way"he whispers as he picks up the bag and empties the contents. Picking up the stuffed red panda he hands it Toby. "I guess they sort of reminded me of us. The red panda and the fox"he whispers as he stares at the panda. He wants to rip the pandas head off, for being so freaking stupid. But wait, its a stuffed animal. That must mean he really just wants to punch himself in the face over and over again. "Feel free to rip its head off, it's a stupid idea"he mumbles as he pulls his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around them.