Zoo (Private)

Toby awoke to the sound of an alarm clock buzzing at 120 beats per minute. He groggily rolled over in his bed and slapped his hand down on the alarm clock. It read eight in the morning. He quietly rolled out of bed and made sure to be as quiet as possible as he crossed the room, pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms. He took a quick glance around the room. Luckily it seemed as though his roommates had either left before he had woken, or perhaps didn't even come to their beds last night. All of their sheets were made as if they hadn't been touched.

Toby padded across the room in his pajama bottoms and entered the bathroom. He did normal morning things, using the restroom, brushing his teeth. As he looked at himself in a mirror, he saw a visible improvement on himself over the past couple of weeks. He hadn't been practicing necromancy since he had told Finnegan. The bags under his eyes had decreased in prominence. His skin looked a little less pale. Although the cuts on his arms remained, he didn't notice that much. He knew that he didn't exactly have a very muscular defined body, but he didn't care much about that, either. His face looked overall happier. His aura around him was somehow brighter. And he was excited for the day.

When Toby finished brushing his teeth, he walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. He then reached out an arm and placed it down.

"Finn, babe, it's time to get up," he said softly, gently shaking the boy's arm. The boy's face seemed so peaceful with his eyes closed and mouth slightly ajar. Actually- take that back. He looked kind of ridiculous. He had better not be drooling on my pillows, Toby thought.

"Hi," Toby smiled back. He laid his hand down on the boy's stomach and looked down at his drowsy face. He knew that sometimes it could be difficult to wake Finnegan. The boy actually slept like a rock. Even when Toby would sometimes toss and turn from frequent nightmares, Finn would not even wake up. He might even put his arm around Toby from time to time in his sleep. But, this time, Finnegan seemed unable to go back to sleep.

When Finnegan sat up, he gave Toby a casual kiss. Well, maybe to Finn it was casual. Toby loved it when he kissed him like that, because it meant that kissing him was a normal thing to be doing. Having that kind of connection was new, but he enjoyed it. Then, Toby slid off of the bed to get Finnegan some clothes. Walking over to his dresser, he removed a pair of khaki shorts, socks, and one of the superhero shirts that Finnegan had made him buy the other day at the mall. Batman. He handed the ensemble to Finn.

"What's your idea?" Toby asked, curiously. Although nervous about breaking the rules, he was not new to it. He had done it countless times before, plus he could tell that Finnegan was feeling pretty cooped up with the same activities every day. He was sort of feeling the same way, to be quite frank.

Toby sat down on the bed after Finn got up, and leaned back on his hands. He watched as the boy took off his clothes and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. When Finn finished, Toby tries to look serious again, as if he wasn't amused by the boy's change of clothes, but it was difficult. When Finn turned towards him with a certain smile, Toby raised an eyebrow. Finn looked like at Toby like a Hermes camper might look at a prank victim. A little worried, Toby's back stiffened.

"Uh- New York City?" Toby asked, uncertain. Sure, he had gone with the boy there before. He had even spent nights there. But he hated how crowded it was. He absolutely despised the number of people that would just bump into you without even a second glance or a single word or apology. Although Toby wasn't keen on the idea, he didn't want to totally shoot down Finn's idea, so he kind of raised one shoulder in a non-committal gesture.

"Oh, the zoo?" Toby's face brightened up. "I've never actually been to the zoo..." he mused, tapping a finger on his thigh. He sat there, thinking about it. Of course, there would be even more people there, which he didn't like the sound of. But, there would be animals, and Finn, and it could be a proper outing. He thought it might prove to be really fun. He lifted his face towards Finn. "Yeah, that sounds fantastic, actually," he said, rubbing his chin.

Toby let out a small laugh at Finn's wink, and his thoughts drifted to the zoo. What kind of animals would be there? What would the habitats look like? Was there going to be enough space where the people weren't walking into each other? Maybe Finnegan and him could buy ice cream. It could be perfect. Only one thing that he could think of. "D-do you think they will let me leave?" he asked, his spirits drooping a bit. No way. There was probably no way that they would knowingly let Toby just leave camp, especially for a whole night.

Toby gave Finn a worried look. He wasn't sure how well this plan would work. Of course he trusted him, but... Finnegan was smart, but sometimes he could get a little bit carried away. Especially now. Toby saw some sort of wild look in the boy's eyes that came with the thrill of breaking the rules. Toby just wasn't exactly sure how well that a baseball cap and sunglasses would work.

"Hm?" Toby looked up, realized that Finn had asked him a question. "Oh, uh..." he trailed off. The son of Hecate pushed himself up off of his bed and walked over to his dresser again. He pulled open his sock drawer and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. "Well, I mean.. no, I haven't actually been to any zoos," he said quietly, shutting the drawer again. He walked to a closer and looked up at one of the small shelves at the top of the closet. He reached up, but couldn't seem to get there. He then leaned forward onto his tiptoes and tried to reach, but he still seemed unable. Clearing his throat, he glanced at Finn. "Could you- uh..?"

Toby felt a little bit of pressure in his chest when Finn mentioned his father. He wondered if he would get that same feeling every time that the boy did mention his father. He knew that he was probably lucky that his father was still alive but... well, it wasn't exactly like he had been that much of a father to Toby anyway. If Finn was going to compare this zoo trip to the ones with his dad, Toby was a little bit afraid that he wouldn't be able to live up to Finn's standards. It felt like a lot of pressure, for some reason.

"Anyway, no. I haven't ever really been to a zoo before," Toby sighed. In truth, his childhood was rather uneventful. He hardly was able to go to recreational places like museums and zoos and water parks. The only form of entertainment Toby really got as a child was climbing the numerous trees around his house that cut off his household from much of the rest of civilization. Other than that, Toby would remain inside, occupying his time however else he could, sometimes even by cleaning.

"Wow, thanks," Toby chimed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "I've never noticed how short I was until now. What an eye opener." He gave Finnegan a gentle push out of the closet and walked by him. He tossed the sunglasses and hat on his bed, and then returned to the closet. His eyes ran over the hangers, trying to find something fitting to wear to the zoo. Nothing too hot, because he knew that the temperatures could get pretty high, especially with the sun out. He found a pair of tan shorts which he removed, but he didn't want to wear any of the collared shirts, so he returned to his dresser and found a regular white v-neck t-shirt. He then quickly slipped the shirt over his bare torso and changed his pants. He removed some socks from the dresser and plopped down on the floor.

"Alright," he breathed. "I guess this could work." Toby put on his socks, then grabbed a pair of his shoes and slipped them on. He then pushed himself to stand, and watched Finnegan. He was rather nervous. Not only to be breaking rules, but to be breaking rules that specifically applied to him. He wondered if Finnegan was going to pay a price for their rule breaking, like he did last time which was to wash the dishes for an allotted time. He really didn't want Finn to pay any sort of price just for him...

Toby took the hat and glasses off of his bed. he set the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose and pulled the hat over his head, the duck-bill brim low over his face. "...Well" He asked Finnegan, expectantly. He felt utterly ridiculous. He doubted there was any way that he was going to make it from his cabin through the courtyard and out of camp. "You have to call a cab," he muttered.

"Are you serious?" Toby responded with a hint of exasperation. Of course, Finn's question was probably supposed to be rhetorical, but Toby couldn't help but give him a doubtful look. 'Since when do I have any bad ideas?' Maybe when your picnic blanket set on fire and you just sat there ready to give your body up to the fiery depths of Hades? Toby opened his mouth to respond with a snide comment, but felt Finnegan's lips on his cheek and it was enough to appease him. He smiled at the kiss, like usual. He nodded at Finn when he said not to be nervous. He honestly was trying. He really hoped the plan worked. He just couldn't help but be skeptical.

"Wait, you have a car?" Toby questioned. He felt like he had to do a pause and rewind. Finn did just say that he was going to drive right? He knew he shouldn't be so shocked, since a lot of kids his age drove. But he had no idea that Finnegan actually owned a real car. Toby didn't even know how to drive, let alone own a vehicle with an engine. Toby, dumbstruck and within his own thoughts, did not even notice the other boy begin to leave.

Head low. Eyes on the ground. Don't draw attention. Should he follow close to Finnegan, or a comfortable distance behind? He didn't have any time to think about it, because Finn was already out the door. Comfortable distance it is. Glancing around the courtyard through a narrow window beside the door, Toby scanned for people. Of course there were people out. Although fairly early, it was a beautiful day. Campers in orange t-shirts were mulling around the courtyard, some herds drifting over to the Mess Hall for a good breakfast. Toby took a deep breath, let it out, and left.

He walked out of the cabin and across the grass, following the tall lanky figure that he knew to be his boyfriend. He noticed that the boy was not on a direct pathway to the hill, but rather veering to a further more secluded edge of camp. Maybe it was wise, since there was less patrol, or maybe it was more noticeable that the two boys were splitting off from everyone else. Toby almost ran in to a camper in orange going the opposite way as him. He muttered an apology and scooted around the girl, and hastened his pace. Glancing back, he saw the girl's eyes trained on him before she shrugged and spun around.

"Oof," Toby muttered. He had been looking behind him, and did not even know that Finn stopped. He ran into the boy's back and stumbled backwards a little, sunglasses crooked on his nose. "Sorry," he apologized, instinctively. He took another quick look back, but saw nobody trailing through the meadow behind them. He turned back to Finnegan and looked up at him. "Lead the way."

Toby could feel his cheeks burn a bright pink when Finnegan adjusted his sunglasses for him. He hadn't realized until then that he probably looked a little funny, and for some reason it was kind of embarrassing. He tilted his hat up out of his face so that he could see better. From here on, Toby wasn't really concerned as much about people recognizing him, since most campers didn't even leave camp at all. But he did at least keep the hat and shades on, just in case.

Toby then trailed quietly behind Finnegan as he led the way to the parking lot. When they arrive, the boy glances around. The concrete was cracked in various places, and obviously maintenance of the small area was not a top priority, probably because a lot of campers didn't use cars. However, a glistening red car caught Toby's sight, causing him to halt for a moment. he had no idea whose it was, but he was envious and wanted to touch it. Toby knew he shouldn't. He exercised some self control and forced himself to catch up to Finn.

When Toby laid eyes upon Finnegan's car, it was obviously a little bit older. Plus, it paled in comparison to the car that he had just seen. But he wasn't one to judge since he obviously didn't even have one, and at least it was some form of transportation. He jogged over to the passenger side and pulled open the door. He slid into the seat and closed it behind him, before buckling up and crossing his hands in his lap. When they began to drive away, Toby's eyes flicked to the side mirror and watched the area where he knew Camp Halfblood was slowly get smaller.

Once on the highway, Toby from the road to Finnegan, giving him a small smile. The car was a little bit quiet, and perhaps it was awkward. However Toby did not notice. In truth, he really was excited to go to the zoo. He had some pretty high expectations since he had missed out on it all his childhood. "Yeah," Toby said, thoughtfully. He was so happy that Finnegan was taking him. Even with Toby's level of bliss, the more they drove, the more his mood heightened, from time to time bouncing his leg up and down to get out a bit of energy.

Toby tried his best to occupy his time in their awkward silence. He looked out the window to watch the cars, trying to keep count of each different color in his head, but he eventually gave up. When Finnegan pulled in to the parking lot, Toby's eyes scanned the cars and he was already feeling anxiety. The place was packed. They drove through a couple of lines before they actually found an open space, but it was a little ways away from the entrance of the zoo. He wondered if this was how most of them were, or only because they were in a populated area. Toby got out of the car, standing awkwardly with his arms at his side as he looked around the lot. He nodded at Finn, taking off his hat and sunglasses and tossing them on his seat before shutting his door. He walked around the hood of the car and took Finnegan's hand tightly.

As they joined a mob of people, Toby gripped Finnegan's hand even tighter than he had been previously. He began to walk a little closer to the boy, not wanting to be split off. Most of the people parted for the couple, not wanting to walk through their intertwined hands, but some people did not care, forcing Toby to quickly maneuver so that he wouldn't let go of his boyfriend's hand. They paid for admission, Toby refusing to let Finnegan pay for him. He didn't really know why, but he was really insistent upon it.

Once inside, the crowd seemed somewhat more thinned out, because there was more space and exhibits for them to disperse themselves. Finnegan let go of Toby's hand to grab a map and unfold it. His arm immediately dropped to his side. He hated not knowing what to do with his hands. He always felt extremely awkward as if they were just useless weights.

"Yeah, sure," Toby responded, giving him a half-smile. What in Hades' name is a red panda? "That would be good," he said, but Finnegan had already taken Toby's affirmative response and ran with it. Actually, he almost literally ran with it. Toby tried to keep up, but the boy was walking as if there was a life-time supply of comic books waiting for him. Toby, on the other hand, plundered through the crowd, muttering apologies. He felt himself get a little bit aggravated. He hated people's body parts touching his, unless they were Finn's. But these were strangers, and Toby's temper was rising. But he remembered why he was here, and his head cooled off a little bit. He had to make this good.

When he caught up to Finnegan, he practically snatched up the boy's hand again before he even turned to look at the enclosure. He looked down at the ground but saw nothing. What was supposed to be here? He certainly didn't see any pandas, especially not any red ones. His eyes began to move up the trees, and then his eyes locked on something. It was red, but it definitely wasn't a panda.

"I thought we were seeing red pandas?" Toby questioned, looking up at Finnegan. "These are foxes."

Toby watched Finn's face contort from excitement into anger in a mere span of three seconds. Even when he spoke, his tone was not one of a happy boy, but of an angry superior. Not only did the tone hold anger, but also frustration with Toby and impatience for insolence. And, to be quite frank, it hit Toby hard. His chest felt funny, even hurting a little bit. He looked into the boy's eyes and might have shattered into pieces then and there.

As if he didn't feel stupid enough merely standing in Finnegan the brilliant son of athena's presence. But now, Finn went ahead and piled onto it, making Toby feel absolutely inferior and as if he had no schooling. Finnegan might as well have called him a chimp. And to make it absolutely worse, he felt the boy's hand pull out of his. It wasn't an accidental drop, it was deliberate. As if Finn was abandoning him. Even if it wasn't literally that Finn was abandoning him, Toby felt exactly that feeling. The fact that he didn't want to even touch Toby's hand was enough to break him

However, Toby did not break. He started out wanting this day to be good. Way to ruin it, he thought to himself. It was his fault. The boy slowly lowered his eyes to his shoes, turning halfway away from Finn like he does often. He forced himself not to cry. He forced himself to resist the urge to just run away and escape his feelings. The mood had shifted so suddenly that Toby felt almost dizzy. He was stupid, emotional, and a disappointment, and this date was starting out horribly thanks to him.

Why was Finnegan being this way? He had never done this before, and maybe he was on edge, but it was still no reason to act this way. He had never before made Toby feel as stupid as he did now, and it was making Toby really upset. Not upset to the point that he would blow up, but the kind of upset where he would just silently blame himself and feel bad for not knowing more about animals. Which was honestly really dumb, since he couldn't help where he had come from.

Toby's eyes drifted upwards a little, hearing Finn's voice. He seemed to be apologetic. But Toby knew the boy too well. He was stupid, but not stupid enough to not recognize an insincere apology when one was given. His eyes floated back down to his feet, not feeling better at all. His arms were dead weights again, and he shoved his hands in his pockets to give them something to do. Then Toby realized that Finnegan was offering out his hand. His arm made the slightest motion to pull his hand out of his pocket, but he stopped quickly. It was instinct. But Toby was not feeling like he could hold hands with Finnegan right now. He was being a jerk for something Toby couldn't help.

"Fine," Toby muttered, staring at the ground. If Finnegan started walking, Toby would follow. But, if Toby got lost from looking at the ground instead of at Finnegan while he walked, he wouldn't mind that so much either. He didn't care about elephant. In fact, the whole wondrous feeling of finally going to the zoo was thrown away. He wished that they had never come here, and more-so, he wished that he wasn't so stupid, especially mistaking whatever the hell red pandas were for foxes.

Toby's head lifted up, hearing Finnegan's voice. The sound was different, and he knew that Finn was being sincerely apologetic. With that, Toby couldn't really stay mad at Finnegan long. He had to forgive him. But, just as his spirits were on the rise again, they took an even bigger dive. His hands were coming out of his pockets to take Finnegan's. To tell him that he wasn't a horrible person. To say that he loved him. And then Finnegan ran for it.

At first, Toby didn't know what to do, exactly. He stood there, staring as the tall boy dashed away from him. His chest crumpled inward like a paper being crumpled by an unhappy artist. He wanted desperately to go after him, but he somehow knew it was too late. He would never be able to keep pace with him. A switch was flipped inside Toby, and his face grew hot with anger. He looked around and caught several people's gazes who were watching their little spat.

"Go to hell," he spat at them, turning and stomping off in the opposite direction that Finnegan had gone. This time he was not at all conscientious about running into people. His angry demeanor seemed to keep most people at bay, but the few dimwits who crossed his path were practically ran over as Toby stormed to the entrance of the zoo. Upon reaching the entrance, however, he realized that he was kind of trapped. He would have to get a ride from Finn to get home. He couldn't leave until he found Finn. As he looked around the park entrance, he saw a payphone by the gates. He dug some quarters out of his wallet, went over, and phoned a cab. That way he wouldn't have to bother Finn with taking him home, because obviously the boy didn't want to be near him anyway.

Toby hung up and puffed out his chest, crossing his arms, agitated. He knew he had let his temper get the best of him, but he was still somewhat angry enough that he didn't care. How come every time that Finn and him did something, it turned to shit? His eyes watched careless and happy faces go by. They could have been like that. They were like that, sometimes. But it never lasted long. Everything they did was just absolute crap. One of them always ended up distraught. And, now that he thought about it, it was often Finnegan. At the mall, Finn had run away from Toby, just like he did now. Toby began to wonder if he should blame himself. Was he poison to Finnegan? Toby himself was always moody, but Finn didn't seem the type for it. Was the reason that he was always moody around Toby because he was being influenced?

Toby, lost in his thoughts, hadn't noticed a tall teenager, much taller than the general population of the zoo, walking about. When his eyes came back into focus, he saw Finnegan. The boy was looking around, trying to scan the sea of people. Shit, Toby thought. Is he looking for me? For some reason, maybe out of instinct, Toby turned away, bowing his head to hide his face. Then, he realized that he actually didn't want to be found by him. Whatever was coming, Toby didn't want to face it. He would rather just get in his cab and go home, like he had planned. He closed his eyes, head still bowed, and pretended that he was turning invisible. Invisible, invisible...

Toby heard the voice of Finnegan behind him and he silently cursed himself in his head. He didn't want to talk at all. Maybe if he could have just gotten in the taxi he called and gone home, he would feel like talking tomorrow. But, since he had been spotted, he forced himself to turn around and raise his head to look at Finn. Just seeing him was enough to send a sting into his chest.

When he heard him apologize, he was unsure of what to say. He could forgive him. Then they could continue on and be somewhat happy with the day, and then fight again the next day. And the next. Or, he could say that it isn't okay. He could in fact say that he did have every right to be mad. But what would that get accomplished? He would just feel like shit the rest of the day, and Finnegan would avoid him for weeks like he used to.

"Yeah..." he whispered, almost inaudibly. He was unable to come up with a final resolution on what to do. When Finn bowed his head, Toby just stood and looked at him. He looked the same as ever, but in unreasonably sized clothes, the shirt to baggy for his skinny frame, drooping on his downward sloped shoulders. His shorts were obviously for someone shorter than he was. He looked honestly really sad. And then, Toby noticed the bags. Had he been shopping when he left? That was extremely odd to Toby.

"Look, it's fine," he sighed, almost adding an 'I guess.' He found that all of the excitement and energy he had drained away.  He was already tired and wanted nothing more than to just get home. He was in no mood to pick any more arguments. He opened his mouth to say 'sorry for being so uneducated', but he decided that Finn might take that as a snide comment, so he just shut up, put his hands in his pockets, and waited for a response.

Toby noticed Finnegan running his hand through his hair. His trademark move for any mood that relates to being uncomfortable, whether it be frustration or confusion. His hair almost always looked like it was stuck in bedhead mode, so the hand didn't really change much, as far as its appearance goes. Maybe it pushed out of his face a little.

Toby didn't know why he was thinking about that. He kind of just needed something real to focus on. Something that he knew and understood in order to make himself feel more stable. The whole environment around him was new, and the atmosphere was chaotic. He had to hold on to something that was familiar. Finnegan's action gave him just that. It was kind of like when Toby was at his old house, living with his dad. Sometimes when his Dad got a little tipsy, and Toby's world seemed to begin to crumble, he would just start running. He would find the forest beside his house. The trees were familiar. The smell was soothing. He recognized the familiarity of the bark once it touched his palms.

The brief throwback gave Toby just enough of a boost to decide to face Finnegan. He was prepared to do it, then and there. He could have talked it out at that moment, oblivious to the crowd. However, when Finnegan decided they should move the conversation, Toby realized the number of people watching them. Maybe it was because they were standing there dramatically, or perhaps they were speaking louder than they intended. Nevertheless, a dozen eyeballs shooting into Toby sent a surge of insecurity and nervousness into him. He didn't hesitate to follow Finnegan out of the zoo. There goes their date idea.

The two walked hurriedly through the parking lot. Again, Finnegan led the parade, not tossing so much as a glance backward towards Toby's short legs took quicker strides than Finn, only to go about the same speed. The noise from the zoo was fading behind them, along with the hope of any kind of happy outing. As they grew nearer to the car, anxiety was heightened and impending depression threatened his day.

Upon arriving to the car, Toby tugged open the door and nervously slid into the seat, shutting the door behind him. He folded his hands in his lap and bowed his head. His breathing was rather shallow, and his head was feeling a bit light.

"Alright," Toby gulped. He didn't really want to start the conversation. He didn't really know what he would say, anyway. He didn't understand what he did wrong, really, but it must have been something. Maybe he was just too stupid. He knew how smart Finn was. Maybe the son of Athena was tired of someone as foolish and unintelligent as he.

"Wh-what do we talk about?" Toby asked. He would have asked what should they do, but he was still fuzzy in the head, and confused, and he wanted Finn to tell him what to do.