i used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemy's eyes

faye lynn mcjean

She had killed people before, watched the life leave the eyes of her enemies, and left them there to die without a second thought. However, standing over James' body, and having to cut off his limb was paralyzing her. She couldn't hurt him, she wouldn't.... but he was begging her. He'd be dead if she didn't, and then she would truly lose him forever.

Her blade penetrated flesh, her grey eyes closed tightly shut, the scream running through her mind. It hadn't left her, and never would. The scene shifted, to the same blade cracking through Vinnie's skull, killing him. He was dead, James had lost a limb, and her best friend was gone. The apocalypse might've ended, but it was far from ending in her mind.

Faye hadn't the slightest idea where she was, her mind racing. Now, she was watching James die, his eyes changing into that pitch black color, symbolizing the most terrifying thought in her existence. He was gone. She would never be able to see those beautiful blue eyes again. James was gone.

"James!" she screamed, thrashing around. Her arm hit something, was it a cabinet? Opening her eyes, wide with fear, she continued her screams until they became sobs. "James, James, what have I done?" Faye moaned, realizing where she was.

The infirmary.

The demigod didn't know how she wandered here, maybe she had been sleepwalking. Faye hadn't moved in her sleep this much since she was young, when she would travel to her father's room after a nightmare. But this nightmare couldn't be woken up from. This was her life.

pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

For the first few days, James' eyes had been clouded with what could only be described with pain and torture and unknown; the apocalypse had had such an effect on him that he didn't know what he was even doing anymore. He couldn't sleep at night, and all that was replaying in his mind was the blood and immense pain. He had had his arm carved off by the girl he was into, without masses of painkillers running through his system. It's a wonder he had bled to death. He sort of forgot what happened after that, too distraught, but he knew he had made it through.

If he hadn't made it through, he wouldn't be sitting in this clean bed, surrounded by the remains of the infirmary that was still under repairs from the undead wake. He just stared out at the wall, his right and only hand touching the stub of his left elbow, feeling the bandages that surrounded the stump of his missing forearm. He felt sick, almost, and every so often he would hold out his arms in front of him and cry over why there wasn't a left hand in front to join his right. And after he would sob into the busy medical infirmary, he would hurl his fist at the wall or cabinet or whatever was closest to him. He would scream abuse until he was sweating and red.

But, in the middle of the night, James continued to sit, although his head was slowly starting to drop for one of the first times recently as sleep engulfed him. He was always through a dreamless slumber when calls of his name jerked him awake, and his first reaction was the get out of bed and go towards the voice that he knew all too well. He froze through, realising he had been about to use his left arm to pull the sheet away, and almost gagged as he remembered what had happened. Still, forcing himself through it, the teenager limped towards Faye, finding her a few beds away from his. He was just in pajama trousers, although his naked chest was covered in stitches and his left shoulder covered in a white bandage. He didn't want her to see him like this again, but couldn't help it right now. "Faye? Faye!" He barked, concerned as he took a seat in the side of her bed.

faye lynn mcjean

Grey eyes observed her surroundings, seeing the infirmary in the same, destroyed state. A makeshift roof of tarps strung together allowed holes that displayed the cloudless sky. Her fingers scraped across her face, feeling the new scar across her jaw, and a matted mess of hair. The daughter of Athena was still in her pajamas, an old tee shirt and thin pants she had saved from what was left of cabin six.

Or was there even a cabin six anymore? She couldn't be sure, everything seemed to be a blur of terror, forming a constant fear she had developed. James. She heard her name being called, as she frantically searched for its source. The ring, containing her sword, still resided on her finger, which she activated without a second thought. The apocalypse had left her impulsive, as she was about to use the blade, if she hadn't seen the familiar face shine through the moonlight.

The sound of metal hitting the ground echoed through the infirmary as she stared at the figure. "James?" she whispered, almost inaudibly. Faye sat up, her fingers hesitantly reaching for his face. The contact almost made her jump. He was alive. Running her hand along the side of his face, a small smile spread over her face. He was alive, and that was all that mattered. His skin was warm, sending goosebumps along her arm, relieving the numbness she had felt seconds ago.
pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

Faye was fine. She may not be okay, because James knew everything she had been through with him - the fighting, the worry, the undead, the arm (or lack of it) - but she seemed to be fine. She had two arms left, at least, so James would consider her to be fine in comparison to how he was feeling. And, as he looked over at her on the hospital bed, he couldn't help but deny that she was beautiful; even though she looked a mess, and his eyes were only seeing negativity and death right now, she looked beautiful.

The feel of her soft hand against his face surprised him, although he closed his eyes for the briefest moment. There was something about the touch that was comforting and made him feel safe for the shortest moment. Almost as if he was perfectly well and fine and she was perfectly well and fine and that everything was fine and well and good. And as soona s that feeling came to him, it had left, and all that remained was a lump in his throat as he struggled to breathe. And the next thing he knew, his ice blue eyes were tearing up and one of the toughest guys one could know was starting to silently cry, the muscles in his cheek and jaw fluttering as he grounded his teeth together forcefully.

Pulling Faye's body close to his shirtless torso as fast as he could with his only hand, James buried his head and face into his collar, clenching his face muscles despite the pain. "I'm so sorry," he got out between gasps, squeezing her against him, "I'm so sorry."

faye lynn mcjean

Breathing slow and staggered, she felt her heart beating loudly in her ears, but nothing mattered except that she could feel blood pumping through him, and he was alive. Watching his every move, Faye felt a rush of panic go through her as his eyes shut. Was he dying? She couldn't process anything, especially not when she saw a familiar stream of diamonds run down his face.

She had cried when her father had almost died, when she killed Vinnie, when she learned Maddison had been killed, but watching tears stream down James' face shattered her. Gasping, an eruption of the liquid began sobbing hysterically. Faye hadn't ever seen a member of the Ares cabin cry, and James had been the last person she expected to let himself cry in front of her. Then again, maybe she'd wake up from this and nothing would've happened. James would still be an asshole, and Vinnie would still be alive. But right now, her thoughts were blurred with tears.

The contact was perfect, despite the rough nature of it. "Shh," she whispered softly, her hand dropping down to his neck, following along the bandages, until it ran out. His left arm. "I'm sorry," she choked, withdrawing her hand back to her body, pressing her face against him.

Right now, nothing mattered. Not the tears staining the white bandages against his chest, not the lack of limbs, not the lack of sanity. They were just two broken teens who needed each other more than either of them would ever admit.
pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

James had never thought he would allow himself to cry in front of Faye; he had always put this bad-boy act on in front of her, and for him to break down and show the sensitive side of him in front of her once more was hard. It had been so long since he had cried before the incident, and now it seemed to be all that he did. He had lost so many and so much, and now he was stuck; he was stuck as a broken boy in a broken body surrounded by this broken world, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

And as he held Faye tight to him, he shivered as he felt her move her hand down his back and to his wounds, sobbing harder when he felt her retreat; she thought he was a freak now. He could tell. He wasn't, but he thought he was. He just kept to mumble apologies, hearing hers above his crying. And soon, after getting his salty tears all over her neck and fabric, he started to calm down a little. He didn't have any tears left to cry, yet just stayed emotional, leaning into this younger girl as if she was keeping him there.

After silence, James didn't move from Faye's neck, yet buried his head closer against her, "I'm sorry," he sniffled, his voice hoarse and deep and husky from crying, "I'm sorry I made you...do it. But you don't know what it was like. I felt dead. I could feel myself dying, Faye, and I don't want to die. I'm too young to die." he wanted to cry again, but he couldn't. He swallowed, trying to block his emotions off again.

faye lynn mcjean

Tears were all that she was mentally registering, not the apologies she wouldn't accept from him, or the feeling of goosebumps and ice running down her back. Faye still hadn't recovered from the dehydration and starvation of the apocalypse, and her sobs were reduced to frantic gasps after a few minute's time. Feeling herself shiver as tears slid down her neck, staining the collar of her shirt, she bit her lip sharply, trying to stop her noise.

His words made her want to begin her useless emotional fits once more, but she knew there was no use; she had nothing more to use for tears. "I could feel myself dying," the words echoed through her hollow mind before she blinked away the reminisce of her sobs. Way to go, she scolded herself. If she had acted sooner, maybe he wouldn't have had to feel that, feel death pulling him down. "I'm sorry," Faye gasped out.

"I shouldn't have hesitated." Red. She remembered the blood the most, the warm, sticky crimson spilling from the wound she had created. "It was so red... I couldn't... I should've..." Faye muttered, her lip quivering. "I should've done something more." The demigod wasn't used to taking orders, and the order to hurt James, intentionally, seemed like a death threat. She froze then, and in that moment she knew she hadn't thought about the pain he was feeling. Faye was being selfish and thinking about only herself, and how losing him would've felt. It was red.
pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

Not realising that he was making Faye feel bad by talking about what he had felt like, James raised his face a little and looked lost, his blue eyes flickering as his face came up level with hers once more. His bottom lip shook, and his blue eyes looked dead. There was a deathly pale expression to his face and his hair was tangled, but at least he was a live. But he continued to say what it was like, nonetheless, lost in remembrance for the scariest moment of his life.

"I could feel everything go bad. Like...like, I wasn't me anymore. I-I could feel that, Faye, like someone was t-taking over my body and I couldn't do anything to stop it." he gasped, his eyes frantically searching her face, "Like there was a switch that flicked, but it was j-jammed and I could feel it slowly turning off. It w-was like someone else's blood was going through my veins! And...and I would've k-killed you if you hadn't d-done it. I'm so sorry...I was weak. Too weak. I'm so sorry."

He then looked down at his wound as if it wasn't part of his own body. His mind couldn't make the connection of where his arm had gone from the elbow down, and why it ended at his bicep. "I should've just died. I shouldn't be here. It's wrong. It's sick. I should be dead." He became crazed and frantic one more, aggressively begging her for answers, "How do you know we got all the disease out?! I could be one...of them right now! I'm wrong. It's wrong."

faye lynn mcjean

Taking a hesitant glance up at him, she saw the dull shade to his eyes. In that second, Faye realized neither of them would ever be the same. Not only physically, but mentally. They would be forever chanced but a series of unfortunate events that shook reality and transformed it into a living hell. Or was it still? The demigod couldn't be sure.

Listening without interruption, she simply soaked up his words. Faye hadn't grasped how lucky she had been to simply experience the slaying of zombies, instead of actually becoming one. Returning her hand to his neck as she felt him tense up, as if she was supposed to have the answer. Faye usually did, but not to this. This was one riddle that would never be solved. "You're not weak," she whispered, running her hands along his skin slowly. "You're the bravest person I know."

Her eyes followed his down to where his lower arm should be, but instead only bandages remained. The tense feeling returned. "It was red," Faye repeated, as if all the answers in the word were in a color. "Red is human, it's angry, it's confused, it's painful... it was red," she continued, her eyes searching for contact. Her hand running up his face, she slid her thumb along his cheek. "You're red, not wrong, not gone, just red."
pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

Laughing and scoffing at her words, James squinted at her. He wasn't brave. He was a coward, and always had been. He had used to be scared of his step-dad. He had always ran from fights before moving closer to camp. He had used to care more about his appearance than people's feelings. He was anything but brave in his mind, "I'm not brave." he spat, angry at himself, "I'm wrong."

He stared at Faye when she tried to reassure him, feeling her comforting skin on his and almost believing her. He wanted them to be okay, whatever 'them' was. But he could see that Faye actually, truly cared about him. She had done probably the most traumatising thing ever for him, and she was still here to look after him, and that was what James had needed to be sure that she cared about him. But, he still kept pushing it, wanting to show her how wrong and disgusting he was. He grabbed her slender wrist, pulling her hand away from his face and making her touch his severed arm, hissing as it hurt but holding her hand tight there so she could be disgusted as well.

"Look what's happened to me, Faye, all because I was weak." he growled, maybe getting too worked up.

faye lynn mcjean

Jumping at the sound of laughter, she frowned at him. How could he say that? Was he listening to her at all? Letting her hand drop back down to his neck, she didn't look him in the eyes, deciding silence was her best reply. Neither of them was in the state to be arguing.

Scowling as he pressed her hand against his severed limb, her grey eyes shot back at him, radiating a sudden fury. "You were weak," she hissed, sitting upright more so. "I could've let you die," Faye continued, in a voice very unlike her own. "I could've let it take you, but I didn't. I couldn't let them take you from me, you ass." Pulling her hand out of his grasp, she backed up, her eyes still attempting to bore into him.

"I couldn't let you go, and I still can't." Faye muttered, running a hand through her coarse hair. "So don't you dare tell me I wasted my time saving you."
pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

He felt a spark ignite inside of him. Faye just backed up what he had thought, and it made it angry at himself. He shouldn't be a child of Ares; he made his parents ashamed of him, most likely. All he had to do was slash and dodge and he couldn't even do that, slipping up enough so the damn creature got him. He sort of wished he had let the virus take over him, so at least then he would have an excuse to be dead. Although one should not listen to James when he is self-pitying, because he talks a load of crap.

He let Faye almost butcher him with his words, just breathing deeply and burying his face in his...hand...once more. He needed to get a hold over it, because nothing was going to change the past. The silence was killing him, but it was also giving him the strength he needed to try to get over the event. He was alive, and he needed to hold on to that. He may be controversial towards the fact that he still might be infected, but he was alive and that was all that mattered. "Alright." He just sighed, moving his hand from his face to Faye's hip, becoming gentle once more. "I...I never even said thank you."

Leaning his chin on the girl's shoulder in a half embrace, James closed his eyes once more, "Thank you, Nerd. I love you."

faye lynn mcjean

Angrily exhaling through her nose, she simply stared at him, her face blank of emotions for a moment. Rapidly changing feelings was normal for teenagers, but she'd had enough hormones to last a lifetime. Raising an eyebrow at his statement, going down without any argument, she let a short bit of laughter escape through her lips. Was James Carter going down without a fight? Or was he being logical?

The contact melted her emotions almost instantly, as she hesitantly followed his hand upwards, towards his blue eyes. Icy blue, the opposite of red. Maybe he was an angry, painful, beautiful mess, but he was controlling it. Faye gave a small shrug, before he rested his chin along her shoulder. Her lips curving into a small half-smile, she felt the same pang of happiness run through her body as he spoke. Such a short sentence, but it held so much of what the demigod had been dying to hear since she had began to know the real James.

Kissing the side of his cheek with a slow tilt of her head, she smiled against his face. "I love you too, Carter."
pj's

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need the light when it's burning low

The son of Ares didn't want to think about what was going to happen after he got out of the infirmary, or when everything got back to 'normal' again. He didn't even want to think about all the things he would have to sacrifice and give up on because of the incident. It was like a chunk of his being had just disappeared into think air and there was no way of getting it back, and he didn't know how to deal with that. He couldn't even get dressed himself yet, and he had remembered a group of Apollo boys and girls having to pull his bloody armour off and strip him when he had first been carted in, which was embarrassing.

But, James found a chance to laugh despite everything that had happened, his yes at least lighting up a little when he felt Faye's lips brush against his cheek, leaning his head against hers for a moment. He turned to face her then, their faces awfully close once more, "If anyone asks though, I still hate you. I've got to keep the reputation going and everything, don't I?" He mused, allowing a small smirk as he moved in to kiss the girl, his hand holding her close to him by the back of her head.

faye lynn mcjean

Resting comfortably against the side of his face, she was allowed to take in what had happened. She cut off James' lower left arm, saving him, but also disabling him. Faye didn't have much of a cabin anymore, but still must've somehow ended up in the infirmary, most likely for extreme nightmares or something of the sort. The camp was in ruins, and half destroyed, still tainted with blood and debris. The sad, but maybe reassuring thing was that she had James, and that was all that mattered in that split second.

Facing him once more, their faces were within a few inches of each other. Feeling his hand trace it's way up her neck, she had the short amount of time before leaning her way into the kiss. His rough lips seemed so familiar, as if they hadn't changed at all. The last time she had felt James' lips it had been shortly following him taunting her book collection, and now he had just admitted he loved her. Faye had loved many people in her lifetime, but she was beginning to think she had found one she couldn't live without.

Breaking their contact, she smiled. "And you're still an idiot from cabin five, impluslive as ever," Faye replied, leaning in for more.
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ooc: i'm crying
this thread is perf <3

need the light when it's burning low

The smallest of grins continued to spread itself over James' lips once more, almost forgetting everything that had happened as he moved his rough lips against Faye's soft ones. Right now, not for the first time in a while, he was vulnerable, and his vulnerability had almost nearly killed him once. He knew that as soon as he was out of bandages, he would have to train up, because it wasn't only going to be physically hard to cope with what had happened but also emotionally. He would have to adjust to living without the important limb, and he would have to pass that mental barrier that would allow him to at least try.

And these thoughts swirled around his head, and the son of Ares found himself not only pulling away from the Athena child but standing off the bed completely, feeling so claustrophobic and needing his own space. His head had already been buzzing with pain, but now it throbbed and he stood up to fast, almost losing his footing and wobbling slightly. He wanted to be sick. He thought he was about to vomit up whatever the hell was actually in his stomach, but he had no clue what that would be. He just moved down to sit on the bed next to Faye's, clenching his eyes closed so tight and biting on his bottom lip so hard that it wouldn't be a surprise if blood was drawn, "Jesus, my head." he cursed, then going on to mutter worse words.

ooc; sob love you pesh<33

faye lynn mcjean

Her mind went blank as their lips crashed together once more, the need for contact almost too much for Faye to bear. She needed warmth, protection, something....anything. As soon as the undead entered the camp, they seemed to have stolen the souls of many campers. Their personality, their well-being, their trust. It was all red now. Soaked in red.

Feeling his presence leave her, grey eyes snapped open, intently watching his figure move away from her. Cruse words were audible, as she slowly inched her way to the edge of the makeshift bed. "Did they give you any medication?" Faye asked softly, thinking first to dull any pain. She assumed he was in a lot of it, but knew that there wasn't anything she could do about it. No one could, really. The zombie intruder had left more than marks on the people of camp half blood, they had left scars; that penetrated far past the naked eye.

"I um... maybe I could find something," Faye muttered, slowly getting to her feet. Balance was difficult as her fragile body slid silently across the hardwood floor.

occ: thanks saph <3
pj's

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» when you feel my heat look into my eyes it's where my demons hide [chaos]
» The Fear of Death Follows From the Fear of Life. [PRIVATE]
» Let's Talk About Eyes [A guide on how to describe eyes]
» "He sees the world with clouded eyes, but I see the world with eyes wide open." [PRIVATE]
» Meeting new People. Friends or Enemys.