not the warmest welcome [private]

'Cole are you even with us right now?'
I jumped at the deep voice that spoke, turning around to find Reid staring at me, his brown eyes shining in the almost dreary sunlight, his eyebrows furrowed. Any other occassion I would have joked around with him about how his eyebrows looked like two fluffy caterpillars, but the downwards turn of his mouth and the creases in his forehead made me think otherwise. This was neither the time nor place to say something like that. I wasn't stupid- I wasn't tactless.
It was bad enough that the whole reason we were even out and not moping around in our Cabins, trying to rid our minds of unwanted thoughts was because we were doing the job that needed to be done: We were finding the bodies.
Some of them had been undead... those that had risen and attacked us because they didn't know any better. Mindless soldiers doing what they were programmed to do. And some... they had been killed in the attacks. Fighting for their life and failing.
'I'm sorry Reid. Really. I was just thinking.'
Yeah... looking into the distance and thinking about what the hell I'm going to do with my life now. How cliche.
His face didn't relax, but it lost some of its worry. Some, not all. He thought I was thinking about what we were doing- thinking about the bodies we needed to gather and bury, and burn. A part of me almost wished that I was thinking of the bodies and the death and the destruction Camp had seen. But I wasn't and I felt bad about that seeing as though that was what everyone else was thinking about.
He turned away and continued walking, and the other two in the group moved too, walking slowly, somberly. Marshall, one of Reid's friends, and Tanya, Reid's girlfriend. I continued too... slower than the rest of them, walking at the back of the group. I only knew Reid.
 
We hadn't had anything to do... until Tanya spotted our groups first body. At first, she obviously didn't even realize what it was, cause she sped up until she stood over it, trying to get a better look. I knew she'd found a body because of the way her face paled and the way she took a step back, her blonde hair glinting in the sunlight as it got caught in just the right way.
'Guys!' her voice shook ever so slighty and I found myself admiring how she hadn't burst into broken tears like other girls I knew would have, 'One's here.'
Reid and Marshall jogged over to her and took a look, steeled themselves for what they needed to do now and that was bring the body to where it could be burned or buried, whatever they decided.
I thought I would be able to handle it- but I was most definitely wrong. The stench of death was in the air everywhere around Camp, but as I got closer it got stronger, making my stomach turn, making me feel like I was going to get sick right there and then. I got the tiniest look at dirt covered trousers and grey flesh before I suddenly began to feel dizzy.
The others, trying to prepare themselves for what they needed to do, didn't even look up as I turned on my heel, first walking and then running away from the body.
I had seen them at a distance. I had seen Zombies meandering around aimlessly at night during the weeks of the Apolcalypse... but I wasn't someone who was prepared to drag the body of a dead Camper off to where it needed to go.
I didn't know where I was running too, only that I wanted to get away on my own for a little while.
 
I was wearing a baggy black band t-shirt that was four sizes too big, just on the off chance that someone would notice it. The taboo subject which I refused to share with anyone. It was very unlikely, but you never knew what might happen. Someone with a well trained eye could guess.
My tracksuit pants were navy and comfortable, instead of what a pair of jeans would have been like. They made it easier for running, and getting away. I had on a pair of white sneakers, so there was not as much of a chance of my falling and breaking bones.
My hair, which had during the weeks of torture been knotted and less shiny than it had ever been, was clean and straight and pulled back in a messy ponytail that swung as I moved.
 
I managed to slow down near Half-Blood Hill, my heart racing and my breath coming in short. I didn't care about that though, as long as I was away from that. I didn't even bother to take a break, instead continuing up the hill at a slower pace, considering sitting down at Thalia's Pine and just... thinking.
Thinking. Some more. Like you've been doing for the last week and a half. Why not sing a new tune Cole?
"I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS, BRUNO!"
Oh wow. This is definitely new.
I was nearly at the top, so I sort of unconciously sped up to cover the rest of the distance, coming up the crest of the hill to the left of the shouter, now revealed as a girl with vivid red hair. She was small, but just the way she sounded made me think she wasn't a thirteen year old.
There were bodies on the side of the hill, close enough to where the girl was standing, and as much as I wanted to I wasn't going to walk away and leave her. The best I could do for myself was slow down a little and edge my way closer.
"...three, four - no Robin, no morbid thoughts right now please - six - oh you idiot you forgot how to count - five, six, seven, eight - oh my God I cannot unsee that corpse - eight, nine... SOMEONE HELP ME I'M GOING CRAZY -"
Again... any other time I would have laughed at the fact her panic had made it so she couldn't even count. But this wasn't a laughing time. I was close enough now, to reach out and tap her lightly on the shouler.
'Shhhh. All this noise you're making is going to wake the dead,' I tried some light humor and it felt foreign, wrong, 'Its okay, okay? You aren't the only one who's panicking.'

In the first few days of the Zombie Apolcalypse, I'd freaked out a hell of a lot. I'd panicked and came close to fainting and every single night I felt like I was about to get sick from the stress. But after the first couple days I'd realized it wouldn't do all that much good and I'd managed to keep all of her negative thoughts about death and Zombies inside her head, not out. I did worry about my friends and stuff, but I had managed to not show it as much.
But over the course of the ZA, I had seen others panic so many times it had become a routine. Some had cracked under the pressure in the first few days, and ended up fainting or rocking or whatever. Others had took longer to break, and for a while I, and they, had thought they were fine. They were the ones that ended up worse. Not everyone had cracked or broken or anything, but some had.
I was pretty much used to it.

Her panic made me step a couple steps back, and I held up my hands in an innocent, "I Surrender" sort of gesture. I meant it to be calming, showing that I wasn't some evil monster who was coming to eat her brains, but I wasn't sure if it came out like that seeing as though I was out of practice with the whole innocent thing.
'Hey! Not a Zombie, okay?'
She had already bounced away, but almost immediately after she had turned around to face me her crazed look had faded into one of relief. Evidentally she was very perceptive. Or she had used her brain to work out I wasn't grey skinned and dead.
I wasn't sure if she was just a naturally pale person, or if she was still panicked, but the sight of her pale face made me worry a little more than someone else would. It was the same sort of worry I would feel if Mary was pale and had just been frightened out of her wits. And that was considering I knew Mary well enough, and I barely knew this girl.

'That's right. Both breathing and moving with non-staggery movements. We aren't craving brains and flesh and all,' I smiled at her, trying to supress a smile at her rushed words.
If it had been anyone else I would most definitely have commented on how she looked like a fish opening and closing her mouth like that. But I barely knew this girl and she was panicked and it was not a very nice thing to say to someone who was like that. I needed to be nice- call it good practice in an art which I had forgotten over the last few weeks.
'Its all good. Everyones on edge and stuff right now, so you aren't an oddity. Plus, you're definitely right on the whole dead bodies smelling bad. They really do. I think its a factor in the whole being on edge thing, if I'm being honest.'

This was seriously humoring Cole, especially when the girl bit down hard on her knuckle to stop herself from talking. A bubble of laughter made its way out of my mouth but no sooner had it made it I had pursed my lips to stop anymore.
Her nervous laugh pulled at my heartstrings and I stepped closer again, closing the awkward distance again after the whole jumping away from her thing.
For the first time I noticed her backpack, and I realized she was probably brand new.
Crap. We must look like monsters, with dead bodies litered around Camp and on the hill. And a load of the kids look battle scarred right now. And more of them are broken. What a great first impression for her...
'Unfortunatly, we aren't preparing for Halloween. Well... um... a lots gone down in the last couple weeks. Left a lot of us frightened and on edge. Not gonna lie about it or anything but well, I won't scare you anymore with gory details...'
...Unless you really want them, I said silently in my head, kicking myself as soon as I had thought it.
'Nice to meet you Robin. I'm Cole Notte. It must be pretty awesome for you, since your name allows for nicknames. Mine doesn't really give any opening for nicknames... unless you want to call me "Coal Dust" or something.'
I smiled slightly, using more of the humor I had forgotten I could even form.

There was me planning on coming nowhere near the Hill today. Imagine if I hadn't ran up here.
I was more than a little worried about the girl. She'd just arrived and almost immediately she had seen dead bodies. It was very possible that she was one of those lucky people who had never seen a dead body before, nevermind dead bodies which had taut grey skin and looked the way the ones lying on the Hill did. If she hadn't seen a dead body before, then she had every reason to be freaked. It was different for us, all the rest of the Camp Half-Blood Campers, because we had had weeks of this sight, and of a sight worse still- dead bodies walking with only the thought to kill in their minds. It wasn't like we were used to it, but we didn't have the same right to be freaked as she did.
But, under the circumstances, she did seem to be bearing up pretty well. Regaining her composure like she was.

This whole explaining malarky was sorta hard, which was what I was beginning to realize. How did anyone explain what had happened to someone who was brand new to Camp and probably didn't understand that this was all a lot more possible than it was in the Mortal World?
If it had been a Camper returning to Camp after visiting Family, who had maybe forgot to check in and was now standing wondering what the hell had happened, it would have been so easier. "Hey [Insert Name]. Welcome back to Camp. We sorta had an incident with Zombies and stuff. There were safe houses and everything! Sorry you missed all the fun, but that'll teach you not to check in with us now, won't it?". Maybe not in those words, but there wouldn't be too much information required.
But with new Campers it was different, and on one hand, I felt like she needed to know that this was possible and it had happened, but on the other hand I was less inclined to freak her out because for Zeus' sake, she was new. She shouldn't have to arrive in a new place with new people and new beliefs and be expected to accept the fact we'd just had a Zombie Apolcalypse like what you might see in that extra game on the Call of Duty Black Ops disc.

Evidentally this was not going down very well with her, since she was shifting awkwardly and even as I watched her smile seemed to fall that little bit more.
This must suck for her. Some people have gnomes in their gardens, we have dead bodies.
'Saying anymore would definitely be too much information, got it. I would definitely not like to be responsible for you losing your breakfast.'

In spite of myself, and what was happening in Camp right now, Robin's next remark made me laugh. Properly laugh, a short burst that I was hard done by to stop so that I could say anything.
'Well, not a lot of people have called me Coal Dust before, but I think that's about to change now that its "Special Agent Coal Dust". Has a ring to it. Kinda like Robin Hood. You could be Special Agent Robin Hood!'

I followed her gaze down towards Camp, even though the image that was in front of me had been a common sight for the last while. I didn't know what she was looking at for sure, but it wouldn't be hard to spot the destruction that had happened, or the lumps on the ground which were more bodies, or other Campers moving around down below, all with the same sort of air about them now. We'd all shared a similar experience, and it had changed most of us.
'You don't need to be sorry for coming,' I smiled, trying to be as reassuring as possible, 'This is Camp Half-Blood. We don't care when you turn up.'
Thank the Gods I don't have to lie. Because if it wasn't over, if this was going to happen again tonight, then I would sure as hell have lied to her, just to keep that smile in place. No one should have to go through this.
'Its over. Done, finished, the end of the show. Now we just need to clean up the mess.'

Robin continuing with the Special Agent thing was both the cutest and the most funniest things I had ever seen. I couldn't help laughing again, a little louder, a little brighter, maybe a little happier. It felt good to laugh again. So many things had happened all at once and it had all caught up on me, and others, and left us all with an inability to laugh. Even now, after everything, it was hard to even smile with another Camper who had been in the ZA. But Robin was new, she had no idea what had happened, and it didn't feel like I was doing something wrong by laughing again. I had missed it, and isn't laughter supposed to be good for the soul? Surely moping around unplanned things and Zombie Apolcalypses was not what we were supposed to be doing now that everything was over. Surely we were supposed to be living in the now, especially since we now knew how short life could be. We all knew how sudden things could happen now, and we should all be living our lives rather than being depressed about things we can't help.
And... well, even if I had been able to not laugh at her enthusiasim about the Special Agent thing, her keeping a calm indifference and saluting again was enough to send me into fits of giggles.

After a couple moments of good, happy laughter, I was able to calm myself down. Naturally this time, not a forced stop to anything. It just slowly stopped, leaving me feeling that little bit better.
'Its definitely a unique nickname,' I smiled, and continued without even needing to think about it, 'Special Agent's Robin Hood and Coal Dust, the most amazing duo of Agents ever.'

It took me a little longer than it probably should to tear my eyes away from the view of Camp and the slowly moving figures down below. I had been studying them, trying to work out who was who, who was doing what, that sort of thing. Reid and Marshall and Tanya had more than likely noticed my absence by now. It wasn't like they were so immersed in trying to work out who the dead body was that they hadn't noticed the fact Cole who had volunteered willingly to help had suddenly disappeared. What a mistake that had been, volunteering. I didn't have the stomach right now for clearing up dead bodies, especially not when people were talking about them like they weren't people, like they hadn't had a soul living in them with real life problems like dances and dates and enemies and parents. Cause every one of the bodies had, at some point, been alive and breathing and living and doing what we were doing and people talking about them like they were just another object which needed to be thrown out after a massive party.... it didn't go down too well with me.

Obviously I knew Robin wasn't blind, but it surprised me slightly that she had noticed some of the Campers dragging a body. Poor her. Just arriving in a new place with new rules and new beliefs and having to 1) see a body being dragged, and 2) trip over a body. Actually, the latter was probably worse than the former, but it was still bad.
'Yeah its... not that great. That's how I ended up here when I did, ha. But we can't just leave them where they are... somehow or another that seems a lot worse than burning them under shrouds.'
I glanced down at the body, not studying it in case I saw features I realized, and gulped a little, but nodded along to what Robin was saying.
Has to be done, doesn't it...

Up until the beginning of the ZA though, I had never seen a dead body. If someone I knew died, like one of the people in the Orphanage or whatever, I always chose against seeing them, because I wanted to remember them breathing and moving rather than well not breathing or moving. Then with the ZA I had been forced to see them because we needed to fight them, and now I needed to practice what I preached and start cleaning up the mess. Hell, if I think of it as that, as a mess that needs to be cleaned, then maybe it'll be easier to just drag some bodies to the shroud for burning.
I can be like the others, indifferent and stuff. Sure, there are those few who can't handle it, but I can do this. I'm strong, I can do it.
Maybe if I said it enough in my head then maybe it would be true.

One part of me was very much wanting to say yeah, please help Robin, we'll get it done quicker with two, while the other part of me was very much anti-robin-enslaving. Instead of choosing though, I looked back at her and shrugged, trying to be as casual as possible.
'Um... you don't need to do anything which you don't want to. If you think you can, then sure, but I- we wouldn't expect it of you Robin...'
I wasn't sure if I would even be able to stomach it, and without thinking about it, I put a hand over my stomach, like someone would if they were feeling sick. Touching dead grey skin would not do that much good to my already fragile stomach lining.