Depressed little girl who just wants to tell someone what's she's been through.

I know I'm pathetic, my life isn't even worth being depressed over. I my mind it started between grades 2 and 4. The time of hardly any friend. My one fried didn't go to school with me. She was my neighbour and it was great. This was the time when I developed a lonely sort of life. I accepted it.

I always wanted out and in grade five a girl came to my school. She was amazing, imaginative and didn't care what others thought. We had imaginary friends and she taught me to roleplay. By the end of the year though we started going seperate ways. She hung out more with the popular girls. I hated them and she told me to just put up with them to hang out with her.

I turned to a different girl for support. It was about that time that I also made my own forum. It was great. This other girl has stuck by my side till now. I love her a lot but.. She's just not the right person. She has no clue how to roleplay and I feel bad because I blab on and on about my problems to her.

On my forum a member joined who was a big idiot. On a small site that can wreck everything. I started getting depressed and one day I told my friends on there that suicide seemed like the only option. I wasn't nearly as close to my friend as I am now and I felt like none of my classmates liked me. I thought if I killed myself I could show them that they were jerks. My forum friends kept me from commiting suicide but it was always there... I always wanted to do it.

Now it's coming back. That neighbour and I haven't really hung out for at least two years. We talk, go places but aren't besties like we used to be... I just want to get out, to escape. It feels like nothing will ever be great. I don't know why but I'm always so sad. There's nothing worth living for... Even writing stories hasn't cheered me up much... That always used to help...

No Neka, it's not the only option.

I know, suicide seems...relieving, but it isn't. Not entirely. There are people in here, out there that actually cares about you. The people that don't know you needs to seethe cool and imaginative girl underneathe it all. They don't like you? They obviously don't know what a person is behind cheap make up and magazines. C'mon, it's also your fight. When you think of these things, you're letting them win. You're letting them see what they can do, and we wouldn't want that. No. We're special, unique, amazing and all, and they can't see it. Poor them. I know, everything's hard, but just trust me. It's not worth it. They're not worth it. You my friend deserve all the love in the world. Just wait.

I used to think the same, about a month ago. I know the thoughts. Being a loser, no one to really call a friend and no one stable in my life, it's hard. I cried everynight because I'm scared of tomorrow and who I could lean on when my grades sucked. Well, that's when I thought: Hey, why not? I talked to my classmates, andthey really did actually got along. Sure, it's bumpy, but they actually accepted me. And well, I accepted me. So don't think you're alone, nah, there are 6 BILLION people in the world, and you've barely scraped the top of the world's personality.

TRIGGER WARNING OF MANY SORTS HERE:

Suicide is not cool in anyway, and should not be seen that way. Suicide isn't the answer your problems. It seems like a quick way, but you will leave many behind. Many people commit suicide, it doesn't mean that it's the right thing. Tell your parents that you're feeling depressed, or if you're uncomfortable, starta blog to express yourself. But commiting suicide will leave man people guilty and mourning. You don't want that.

Many people suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. They didn't realise till it went too far and they couldn't stop. Find a way to stop it. You don't want to end up feelin like your own being is focused on depression. People who have depression tend to have a view of the world differently.

If you feel alone, you are not. Find someone to talk to and get help.