Game: Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but it turned out every alternate reality was just all your loved ones being slowly and painfully tortured.
I wish I had a piano.

Granted, but it was forever out of tune.

I wish I could fly

Granted, but you flew into a building and died.
I wish sleep wasn't necessary for survival.

Granted
But you became a Twilight vampire

I wish that I could watch all my childhood movies again

Granted, but you couldn't watch anything else ever.

I wish I had love, fame, and fortune from now until I die.

Granted but you died as soon as you got them

I wish that I had more creativity

Granted, but then you were put in an insane asylum

I wish people loved me for who I was, not who I pretend to be.

Granted but then YOU didn't like who you really were

I wish I could only speak the truth

Granted, but then like Cassandra in Greek mythology, no one believed you.

I wish I was at hogwarts.

Granted but you were a Hufflepuff and NO one wants to be a Hufflepuff . . . xD


I wish I could bring people back to life

Granted, but you used the Resurrection stone and the people you brought back were cold and lifeless, and didn't belong in this world.

I wish that I was the best writer ever

(How dare you say I am a Hufflepuff? I'M A SLYTHERIN AND PROUD!)

Granted, but no one would read your books.
I wish I could meet the characters of Legend of Zelda!

GRANTED, but it was Tingle.

I wish I was a pony.

Granted but you rusted in a day so they threw you away. (Rhyme  )

I wish that i wasn't single and that i was with the girl of my dreams till the end of my long, happy, fulfilled life. (Not at all a reference to the Eldrazi. Google All is Dust)

Granted, but you were in an accident and got amnesia and not remember your girl of your life.

I wish that the download speed would be forever fast--

Granted, but viruses contained will be equally so.

I wish Keanu Reeves would stop trying.

Granted but then you killed him and went to prison (what?)
I wish that I could write my book

Granted, but your book wasn't any good. 

I wish I was famous.

Granted but you are Justin Beiber

I wish that I had a pie

Granted, however it was made last year and with zero preservatives.

I wish Artemis would spontaneously break out in a square dance.

Granted but she danced forever (isn't that what you wanted)

I wish that I could get lots of new followers

Granted but they were only hate following you

I wish that I could dance better

Granted, but only on the full moon.

I wish I would stop being sick!

Granted but you died

I wish I was awesome