I don't care what you do, I'll always be your friend. (Snii)

Felix found Logan hunched over in the graveyard. It had been days since Felix had seen him last, partied with him until early in the morning, woken up tangled with him the next day... He made his way quickly to his friene, not just a friend, though, his best friend in the entire world. "Legos!" Felix called out, the silly pet name rolling off his tongue as easily as the blonde's real one. "Where've ye been, man! I haven't seen you in-" He was close enough now to smell the vomit; close enough to se the used needles and dried blood. His brow furrowed in concern, a flash of fear shooting through the pit of his stomach. "...Logan?"

Logan didn't look up. He chewed up his bottom lip--chewed until it bled. His knees were pulled to his chest protectively, strong arms now looking frail wrapped tightly around them. They were worn out, similar to his face, with obvious dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. The nightmares had been leaving him awake and fatigued. An insomiac of sorts...An automaton. Logan was losing himself. He knew it for sure, and others probably could too.

Maybe Dionysus saw this coming. Maybe that's why they never spoke. He knew his son was too weak, inside. Ripped on the outside, maybe, but torn apart on the inside. He'd been plummeting downward since he'd left his mom.

She never returned his calls. Didn't send him mail.

Logan had begun to think that caring was a joke. That their love didn't exist. Every night he snuck out, got himself crushed in mosh pits, drunk out of his wits, the powder and pills taking his mind to somewhere out of reach. It destroyed him, he knew that. Maybe she did too. Maybe she didn't care, after all.

Four years ago Logan never would've thought such a thing, but he was feeling empty. He bet if someone screamed in his chest cavity, the shrieks would echo, because nothing was there at all anymore. No heart, no soul. There was no light anymore, and everything had been growing increasingly dreary.

His face had sunken in, and he'd lost quite a bit of weight--that tends to happen when you refuse to eat, and throw up anything you do manage to force out. But he didn't expel everything.

The needles went into the bloodstream.

That wasn't something that could be wiped from his system with something as simple as retching into the grass--not that he hadn't already done that, too.

If he listened closely, he could hear the whistle in his nose, from where the snow had been breaking down the walls deep inside. Maybe he would care about this under normal circumstances, how he was destroying himself from the inside out.

Not anymore though.

He didn't care, his father certainly didn't care, his mother didn't talk to him anymore, he'd only ever made a single friend in camp, which, in his paranoid state, Logan was beginning to think was just manipulating of heartstrings to have a fun night.

Not that he was deeply in love with Felix, oh no. They took the nights as they pleased, with no strings attached. Both had specific agendas, and were not romantically inclined to each other, per se, but that wasn't to say that they weren't friends. It was mutual. Logan thought it was mutual.

But feelings change. People change, and Logan certainly wasn't who he used to be anymore.

The comcern the had been gnawing at Felix turned to fear. Logan would never ignore him, no matter how wrong his life had momentarily become; he would know that Felix would be there with open arms, a shoulder to cry on, words of comfort and a reminder that he was not alone. "Loges?"

Felix did, in fact, love Logan, albeit not romantically. What Felix felt- what Felix thought they shared- ran even deeper than that.

It was the love of brothers bonded over the knowldge that neither would ever be alone so long as the other lived.

It was a love that never feared judgement.

It was a love that flowed from the promise that they had shared, so long ago; "No matter what happens, I will always care for you, I will always love you, and most importantly, you will ALWAYS be my friend."

"Logan? What's wrong?" He reacehd to touch his friend's- no, his brother's- back.

Logan sucked in a small breath with a sudden gasp, jerking at the sudden touch. He was listening now. And what he heard nearly brought tears to his eyes. Felix.

Logan considered not talking. What he wanted most was to curl up in a ball and melt into the ground. He wanted to disappear.

And at the same time an uncontrollable rage was just barely being held back. At Felix, his mom, his dad, the whole goddamn camp.

His cracked, dehydrated lips parted slightly, but no sound came out.

I sent manticores into the camp to kill everybody.

Finally, after much hesitation, his voice could be heard. It was quiet, raspy, very similar to the one he'd been hearing from the ground and in his head and buzzing around him, wailing out for him, drowning him.

Logan was somewhat afraid that emotion might spill out of he said too much or spoke in his normal, happier voice, so he kept his tone hushed, his words cold. "...What."

Felix knelt, genuinely frightend now, by his best friend. "I've been trying to find your for days! Di immortales, Logan, what's happened to you?" He pulled off his hoodie and moved to lay it over his brother's bare back. "C'mon. Let's head back to camp. Little Ben, the Asclepius boy, can get those nasty things out of you. And I'll be there. I'll always be their. We'll make this all better, together."

Felix had called him Logan. A small, pitiful smirk played on his face. He must've looked like a wreck if Felix was going to call him by his actual name. "I'm not going." His voice was weak, but his stance was firm.

With a light shrug of his shoulders, the article of clothing Felix had offered him fell to the ground.

"I'm not going back, Felix."

I will never go back. I hate these people. I hate this whole damn place.

"Ever."

Felix was stunned. "What?" The faint Irish lilt ever present in his voice became pronounced in his confusion. "Legos what are you-"

"I said, I'm not going back." His voice was somewhat stronger now, fueling by the anger building up inside him. He was close to boiling over, and if it had been anyone other than Felix, he might have. "I'm sick of this place. The people hate me here. I hate the people. I'd like to see this camp up in flames."

He stood up, the muscles visible working under his skin. Logan truly had lost weight--but that wasn't to say he was weak. His ribs and spine were a little more pronounced now, but he was still capable of fighting. He would fight, too, if Felix got in the way. Felix had used him, he felt like, and was just like everyone else. Deep down, he still had brotherly feelings for the boy, but on the surface, he raged. He could almost feel his blood boiling under his skin. Logan was getting angrier with every second Felix stayed.

"I don't hate you," Felix whispered, "I could never hate you. If you to leave, I can go with you! We're 19, we don't need them!" He desparately tried to reason with Logan, tears welling up in his eyes.

Logan shook his head and grit his teeth, the color being sucked from his knuckles as he balled his hands into fists at his sides. "No, you're not. You're going to stay here, like everybody else." Logan was regaining composure now, but he wasn't himself. Logan was furious at the gods and his family and everyone at this wretched place. Dionysus had screwed him over, and he'd return the favor. To all the gods. They barely had anything to do with their kids, and many of the kids were just as snobby.

But there were a few, like him, who could see through the fog. They saw the corruption of camp half blood, the abuse of the gods. And he'd watch the downfall of them, if he could.

Whether it was Kronos' thoughts or his own, it didn't matter. But they felt like his, and they sure as hell felt real. "I don't need you, Felix. You don't want to leave. The gods have screwed everyone over. Today, I returned the favor."

Whether Felix knew of the manticores or not, Logan was unsure. But if not, the boy would probably find out soon enough.

Felix then heard the sound of screaming coming from the camp. Turning, he stared down on the horiffic scene below. For a long moment, he ccouldn't speak. "What have you done, Loges?" There was something broken in Felix' voice. As he stared at the death below him, he knew that the Logan he knew was burried to deep for him to reach. For the first time is his life, Felix Edgley spoke in resignation. "What have you done?" He didn't turn. There was no need to let this new Logan see his tears.

It took Logan a long time to answer, partially because he was upset, partially because he was angry, and partially because he was still trying to figure it out himself. The tone of Felix's voice made his stomach churn; he'd never heard his brother speak with such disparagement and disappointment and sheer pain before.

His voice was quiet, matching the agony of Felix's, with a touch of bitterness. "I've set myself free."

Felix stiffened. "Free?" He turned and looked Logan in the eye. Tears didn't matter now. "How about our friends? The ones who are probably dying down their, because of you? Ben? Torin? Landon? They've been kind to us, kind to YOU, and no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise, they weren't pretending. Gods, Logan, where are you? What's bad that throwing away everything you have here would be worth escaping it?" His mouth set into a sad smile as he continued to cry. "I should hate you for this. I know I should, but I'm not even trying to. I could never hate you." Felix took a risk. Before Logan could make a move, he stepped forward and pulled his brother into a hug. "I could never hate you, even if you hated me."

In a flash of anger Logan snarled and grabbed at Felix' shirt, pushing the boy away. The sudden contact, the warm and loving gesture, had startled Logan, and he felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach that he got whenever he and Felix shared nights together. It was a well of emotion and a lump in his throat formed. His eyes seared and a layer of glossy tears shrouded them. His jaw was set and clenched to the point of pain.

A breathe was inhaled shakily, growing smoother on the release. "I don't know Landon or Torin. I've only heard of Ben. For gods' sakes what have they ever done for me? They were roommates, nothing more. You are a roommate." The words were venomous, spitting rejection. "You are a toy." Only half of it was true, but his mind was buzzing too much for anything to make sense. Death seemed the only plausible answer for Logan. For Kronos. "And I'm tired of playing."

Felix flew backwards. Logan's words stung, but he knew had to fight back. Old Logan would never have shoved him- New Logan probably wouldn't hesitate to end his life. Felix started to fall, but managed to throw his hands back, catching himself. Moving into a handstand, he used up most of the remaining kinetic energy from Logan's shove by rotating on his palms, breakdancing-style. Stabilized, he pushed upwards again, vaulting over Logan's head. In one fluid motion, he landed in a crouch, lashed out with a sweeping kick at Logan's ankles, and aimed a punch at the other boy's spine. "You forget, brother- I was always the better dancer."

Logan snorted, jumping to avoid the swipe at his ankles. He had only a split second to avoid the fist, diving into a forward handspring. He landed on his feet and spun around. "I am not your brother." The words erupt in a venomous growl from his heart and throat. He does a backflip, going over a gravestone, and lands behind the large stone. "And you forget, Felix," He throws his hands around the side of the large slab and with a flare of his nostrils and a grunt, he heaves it from the ground. "That I'm stronger than you!" With a heave, the stone dislodges from the ground, and he whips it forward towards his rival's torso at high speed.

» You.... are the one's I care about.
» I don't need you to care.
» Hi to all who dont know me
» all we did was care for each other [bren]
» The Care and Keeping of YOU