Posts : 3652
Join date : 2011-06-25
Age : 20
Location : The Stratosphere
|Subject: Annabeth Skylar and the Explanation Part One Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:27 am|| |
The Explanation :: Part: One
I'm not going to lie. I've treated people badly on the site. I've been overly sarcastic, snarky, and blatantly rude. I've made this topic to apologize and rant at the same time.
I picked at your flaws when you tried to talk to me back a few months. I was upset with what you had done to me. But I shouldn't have gotten mad at what had happened. I lied more than you did. I'm a hypocrite. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you, or yelled at you over PM. You tried to apologize. You tried to talk to me. I pushed you away. I shouldn't have done that. Because now, I don't think we'll ever talk again. And I miss you so much. I wish i could take it all back. If I could, you might be here right now. I'm sorry, and I truly miss you.
I've picked at you and forced you to leave the chatbox. I've called you a hypocrite, when in reality, I'm the worst hypocrite there ever was. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done and said to you. In the end, I still love you, and I'm glad you haven't left yet.
Even though we're cool now, it wasn't always like that in the beginning. I would participate in arguments I had no business being in just for the sake of doing so. I really wish we had a better start, but it is what it is. We're friends now, I'm even happy to say great friends. I'm glad we're friends now, Hawk. I love you, bro.
Anyone Who Asked Me To Accept Characters;
I apologize for getting after you guys when you ask me to do my job. I have a limited amount of patience, something that I was exposed to as a kid. I grew up having very little patience for anything, so I'm sorry. I'll do better to accept characters and do my job. I'm sorry you guys!
Now, regarding my recent behavior, I'd like to apologize to everyone I may have upset. I'm not even going to lie. I've upset myself with my behavior. My patience has completely disappeared. Now, my reason for this may not be good, but here goes;
My little sister had a rare stomach cancer. She was 7 years old when she died on December 8th. Her name was Clarissa. She was in second grade. She had suffered her whole life. Her suffering is over, but not the suffering for my family.
My brother was shot in Iraq in June. Two weeks before I joined Camp Half-Blood. I had told a few people about this. Most of you don't know until now. He had a fiancée. She was beautiful. They were to be married in May.
In my brother and sister, I found strength, patience, and love. With them gone, I don't feel like I have anything left. I feel empty. I don't think I have anything. My past two report cards were all Fs. I'm probably going to have to get held back. I cry myself to sleep every night. I miss my little sister. I miss helping her with her homework. I miss my brother. I miss when he would visit. He had a fiancée. She was about as torn apart as anyone was.
Only a few people have known this. I told people on the chatbox. It's not much of an excuse for my behavior. But in those two people, I had everything. They held me together.
Now I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'll admit, I've been to therapy. It helped, but then everything fell apart in December. I miss my siblings. I feel alone. My mother is the only one in my house. My dad is in Hawaii working. My mom works the whole day, leaving me alone to roam. Millie goes to boarding school, so even she's not here all of the time.
I cut my arms, I've tried to end my life. I realize now, that nothing is worth ending your own life. I have to move on. I have to live without them. But, it's really hard. They were all I had.
Nowadays, I try to scrape by. Every night, I get nightmares. About both my brother and my sister. My life, is truly miserable.
Not to mention I'm bullied at school. Everyday for being a homosexual. But I stand up for myself. When they push me, I push them back. I'm not promoting fighting here, but I'm saying not to let people push you down. (literally.)
But you know what? I'm able to live. I'm able to live with the fact that I have scars on my arms because of what I did.
The life lesson here? Nothing is worth ending your life. Nothing is worth giving up on yourself. No bully, no grade, no death, no person, no pain can make you want to end your life. Suicide is selfish. Suicide is only thinking of yourself. Don't do it. People love you whether you know it or not.
If I can live with everything that has happened above, so can you. Don't give up.
Posts : 2603
Join date : 2010-03-01
Age : 17
Location : Up your butt and around the corner
|Subject: Re: Annabeth Skylar and the Explanation Part One Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:18 pm|| |
you rock, skye. ill miss you a lot. <33333333
If you can't have Scott McCall, why bother?
Posts : 2098
Join date : 2011-06-12
Age : 16
Location : eternally stuck in Hades
|Subject: Re: Annabeth Skylar and the Explanation Part One Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:28 pm|| |
I wish I could say I knew how you feel, but I don't. My uncle is in Afghanistan, but he's working in a hospital. My little sister means the world to me. I don't like to admit it, because most of the time she is snobbish, bratty, and really annoying. I don't know what I would do if she died. Anyway, I accept the apology, and I think CHB does to. (I have no clue what your talking about ^_^)
"We don't decide who lives and dies. Not down here."
|Subject: Re: Annabeth Skylar and the Explanation Part One || |