Dear strangers,
I read an article once. You really can't tell most of your friends your deepest secrets, but they always said that talking to strangers you have never even met helps in the same way you ask for advice to guidance counselors, minus the humiliating part where you add names. Or break down. Whichever cane first.
My point is, before I really rant out some random frustrating and teenage crisis I know isn't really big but I make a huge deal with, I just wanted to say thanks. For being here reading this pathetic excuse of a post. For clicking the weird title I am sure I'll make. Just for being you.
Damn, I'm being it again. Pathetically emotional.
Well, instead of creating a major chaos on what my life really is, I am just giving you a small puzzle I have. ((I want to solve my own life crisis on my own but I just can't think of this myself.)) Love life.
What is love? An expression people make to make another feel special? I think that's it.
I hear a million people as I walk the halls of my school about who's dating who, what's happening between the two people in the janitor's closet doing who-knows-what, and who had their hearts dumped and why. And honestly I don't give a damn. Trust me, I'm socially awkward. I don't like most of the people in my school and they made it clear that they don't like me back. I'm anti-social and I prefer millions of books than my English teacher.
But that's not my point. My point is- this sounds so wrong even if I'm typing it- I've been having strange feelings. There! I even felt butterflies in my stomach! As some of you know, there's this dance at school- whoopdiedoo.- and it's the ONLY dance at school with ONLY juniors. Being 15 an not really into that stuff, I didn't really expect much.
But surprise! I've gotten this small crush with a friend. Not really a close one, but he's pretty nice. Athletic, tall, good looking and all, I know a lot of girls like him. So the thing is, I thought he didn't even remember me fro last year's class, but he did. And asked me to prom. Prom. Prom.
So yeah, at first I was confused. A lot of girls liked him, even his not-so-secret crush liked him back, but why me? I brought books a lot so I don't even know how to interact. Maybe a little small talk and a cracked smile, but aside from that I fear it'll be....awkward.
So as I wa saying, there are these practices for prom. Daily practices. And it started about last week. So yeah, making small talk- mostly making a huge bet involving basketball and the loser buying a whole good for 12 meal just for the winner- , I saw his best friend taking a picture. Of us. WtH? At first I wasn't really making a big deal about it. But then came the arm lock and the heart shaped hearts by a common friend of ours, since I knew he knew I kinda liked-like my friend. I blushed so bad I tripped over a foot by one major fan girl. And my friend, the one I had my arms locked with, actually blushed himself. Okay, since I told him that I take the whole damage ever dunces he asked me, I think it kinda made sense that he'd be blushing when his partner's clumsy and his number one fan blew imaginary kisses in front of the whole batch.
I...don't really know why I'm making a fuss. I guess I just don't want to get my hopes up and just later have them toppling down. I don't know. I can know how to act around people, how to make them like or dislike me, but I'm not good with signs, flirts, emotion and all. I don't know.
I'm really sorry if this took your time. I'm sorry if it isn't what you expect, but one word: HELP?
Subject: Facepalm (A special Feb edition) 
Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:55 am
