Got a secret? Can you keep it?

Even though this isn't really a secret, but I feel a lot of people read this. And, if you guys ever need anything or just someone to talk to, I will always be here. And yeah, I can relate to what some of you guys have been through and I just wish I could hug you all and make everything bad go away, but that's not how the world works unfortunately.

I have two pet cats.

I have an eating disorder called Orthorexia nervosa. It's not nessicarily something that will end up killing me because of being too thin, but it's not something to be proud about, either. It's where you're pretty obessed about eating healthy. Sounds like something a 13 year old shouldn't be having right~

Most of the time when I'm at my moms house i don't eat. It's because we live like slobs, nothing other than pringles and tv dinners and stuff to eat. I grew up in a town where being even mildly chubby is extremely shunned. Even my parents didn't want me to be fat... They kept obessing about what is healthy, I knew about the glycemic index before i was even 8. My case isn't as extreme to the cases of malnutrition, but i don't eat all that often. It has something to do with the size of my stomach, causing me not to feel hungry. So basically my body is hungry, but my mind and senses don't react to the signals my body's sending out about it being hungry. So if I don't eat for a period of time because I don't feel hungry, I get kinda dizzy and I don't feel good.

When i'm at my moms house I have to have my own meal set up for me and a timer to remind me to eat. It makes me feel like a baby. At any other places I eat at, I kindly take up food, and eat it, no i don't throw it up. I eat it because it's polite.

My point is that I have an eating disorder where I only like to eat healthy food. It's a mild case of it so it'll probably be gone in a year or so with help. i wish i could have said it earlier but i got diagnosed with it just a few weeks ago ~

Tonight, I'm happier than I have been these past few weeks. And it's all thanks to a special someone that makes me genuinely feel on top of everything from the moment I make her smile, to when I tell her goodnight.

It's time I surrounded myself with people that give off and wish happiness. I think I've found that group of people that can do that again.
Here's to all my friends that deserve endless magos - to the cool kids who know vibe-worthy music, know how to have a great time with each other and just ignore the world. You know who you are.
You guys are the best.

Everyone here likes the same person, It's almost a little awkward.

half of the time, my finger hovers over the delete button on this topic. I hate this topic so much.

I’m made fun of because I’m in the gifted program in my school.
People expect me to be perfect.
I’ve been called so many rude things before I even entered public school.
I love writing so much because it gives me a chance to be somebody else for a while.
Music is my stress reliever, I suggest listening to it when you’re sad and stuff.
I think of very violent things sometimes…
My dad likes me more than he likes my sister.
My sister hates me for being *prettier* than her
I tend to assume things about people that most likely aren’t true.
I have been called so many horrible things it’s disgusting.
My best friend is a bisexual girl who’s in love with me.
I’m rather religious, but not a super Christian.


I’m in love with music, whenever I listen to it, it makes me feel good inside, it makes me get butterflies in my stomach, it’s better than any man I’ll ever have. It’ll always be there for me. I’m extremely passionate about music, I love it just so much it’s like addiction. I can’t describe it, It takes away every single problem and makes me think of everything good I have in my life <3

~I feel alone even with lots of people here
~I am an introvert
~I hate socializing
~I wish my dad was here because he's working abroad
~I don't have that much friends
~The only friends I have is Vina and a certain classmate that I have
~I hate my school life
~I always feel left out
~I am always the outsider
~Sometimes when I'm mad, I would like to yell at people, but I can't
~I can't stand up for myself
~I don't know why, but I care about what people think of me, and I hate it
~Some people have used me from time to time, ya'know, just to borrow stuff and not return it, and then getting it lost, then I have to buy another one, then it happens again...
~Sometimes, I feel useless and dumb

I am a chosen reject in my school.
Midway through the school year, I transferred from a ghetto school full of gangs located in Brooklyn to mixed, 'well performing' school in Manhattan. Most in my sophomore class thought I was going to be popular. I had a number of assorted people coming up to me, extending invitations. Eager students would ask for me to join in on their groups, girls would come up; sometimes in packs and ask me questions or hit on me, guys would test me out. I surprised them all. I rubbed them the wrong way, turned them down and kept my distance. The idea of popularity has always been overrated to me, and I've always been poor with communication, or at least feeling the need to socialize. Had I decided to climb the social hierarchy ladder anyway, popularity would have stopped once I had denied substance and not given in to peer pressure. Here, popularity means tarnishing your health by getting stoned or wasted and making memorable nights in that way, usually ending with getting kicked out by parents. Just wasn't me.

I have never been in love.
There was a time when I was in an extremely lustful relationship, although I didn't realize it at the time. No girl had ever made me feel so good like this one had, and the whole situation felt different. I figured I had no worries and there wasn't any need to rush, love may eventually come. I was mistaken. She ended things once the school's most desirable guy laid eyes on here; a player that every girl wanted. Tried not to take things too personal, but you know how that goes. Ever since, I've had boundaries. It's nearly impossible for me to gain feelings for any girl at all. Sure, plenty appear attractive, but none are very promising, and feelings are rarely present. Mind you, this has been years after the whole thing. I won't go into detail on being cheated on. In the end, think it just takes the right girl for me to consider anything worth the effort.


I used to be supremely insecure.
It was actually pretty pathetic, now that I think about it. Caring about what people think, has no benefits. Then again, I used to be the really overweight kid that had never had his first kiss, only made a close friend or two, was pretty quiet and appeared dark, intense and depressed even. I suppose the only thing that has changed is that I've grown up a lot, had a great deal of experiences, no longer care about what people think. I could stand on top of a desk and shout, "screw everyone" and not care if I were dragged out and sent straight to the office. I'm described as pretty apathetic and intense from others towards people and life, unless I care about the person or the situation. Few and rare these days.


I've always wanted to be a rockstar.
Just from the moment I heard the sound of a guitar. I've had this vision of being locked inside my room, found on the floor just strumming away until my bones hurt. Music's one of the few things that makes sense to me, and always has.


I'm not religious.
Religion teaches us to accept the world based upon the beliefs of people or a person that based their teachings on the ideals and situations of which occurred eras ago. I've stopped believing in 'God', for about a year and a half now. There's possibly some divine force out there, sure. But I don't believe in worship.


I really despise poor communication.

I need a long vacation from everything and everyone.

I am a fish.
Rofl no.

-I think being OCD is really messing me up.
-I'm pretty sure I'm schrenziophrenic. I thought certain things like remembering doing my homework when I didn't even touch it was normal. I thought occasionally hearing vouces in my head is just someone everyone hears. Apparently not :/
-I feel offended easily
-I hate the fact that I seem hostile when I'm telling someone that tey may offend or something.
-I'm pretty sure I seem like I'm trying to get my position back or something.
-I just tend to stand up for things I feel strongly about when I'm around people I'm comfortable around.

I feel like the site's falling apart or going to.

I agree with Greek. I feel like certain things is tearing this site apart from the inside out.

I wonder if everyone stalks the topic like I do ;--;

It feels good to know the T-Birds aren't completely gone.

This topic disgusts me because it hurts people.

Also I wish pink would acknowledge me as her friend.

And I agree with Greek. It's WWII for the site. Or at least, I foresee it happening.

I also agree with Zan about desperately wanting to delete this topic.