Asexuality: What it is and how to write it.

Hi, I'm wicked, mod and singer extraordinaire. I'm also, for those who don't know, asexual. To my friends on here, this doesn't come as a surprise as I've told them and have often made horrible puns about my sexuality. However, for those of you who don't know me or what asexuality is, I'm here to enlighten you and tell you how to potentially write an asexual character.

Asexuality can be defined as a person who does not feel sexual attraction. It's pretty simple to understand, although not as simple to accept. See, it's not as famous as say, homosexuality or bisexuality, and people are still getting over the fact that humans can like the same sex or both. Although I myself often wonder why the worldly public cannot grasp this concept, I try not to let it get to me. People are ignorant, though i hope you're not. 

Ever since I was about er, 13, I knew I was different. I didn't want to do a lot of the stuff kids my age wanted to do (I have to keep this pg guys so bear with me). However, I just thought that it was a phase. I thought that I'd meet the right guy and everything would be perfect. Well you can imagine my dismay when 2 years later I had a major crush (jesse is his name, if you're wondering.) and nothing changed. During this last summer, I went on tumblr and started doing some research to see if people felt the same way I did. As it turns out, there's a whole community full of them, called asexuals. 

Just like being gay you may or may not choose to tell certain people. I chose to tell my friends at school, and they accepted me just as the same person. Nothing has changed because of this except really horrible puns being made by both parties. I also told my mom, thinking that she'd be as open as my friends at school. Nope. No no no. nO. My mom had told me that 'I just haven't found the right man yet' and 'It's a phase.' These two phrases are some of the two most offensive things you could say to a person like me. I was sad for days because my own mother, who told me she'd accept me no matter what, rejected part of who I was, the part of me that I can't control. Since then I have refrained from telling anybody about my sexuality. 

Actually, Asexuality is just a broad term. It's like an umbrella, really. You've got your asexuals, aromantics (people who don't feel romantic attraction), demisexuals (people who only feel sexual attraction when they know a person really well), and some others which I'm forgetting but I'll add later on. And there's also two important things you've got to understand. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are not the same. For example, I'm asexual, but I could also be homoromantic meaning I only love girls, or biromantic, but I'm heteromantic. Then there's gender and gender identity but I won't probably write about that unless you want me too. 

I'm going on to how to write an asexual character now, but if you want to learn more about this sexuality I suggest going to this site here because it's wonderful and lovely. They have short films and everything, and if you're still confused people are super friendly and will answer your questions. Just remember, you're not alone and you are not broken. 

Alright now onto the fun part, writing. First off, if you'd like to read an asexual character I happen to have one. His name is Tiberius Winters and he's a lovely dork who needs to just kiss a certain blondie. Now when I created Ty about a year ago, I didn't imagine him as asexual, I actually went from homosexual to bisexual to asexual. It's important to note that your sexuality can change, as can your characters. However, much like myself, Tiberius figured out he was different when he went on a road trip with his girlfriend.

Now, certainly your character can still have a love life. Just because they're asexual does not mean they can't have a girlfriend or boyfriend. As it so happens, Ty has a wonderful love life and asexuality doesn't really affect it. Except for the unfinished road trip. Gods that was just awkward as hell. 

A word of caution (this goes for any sexuality you're writing about, not just this one) don't offend the community of people you're representing. For instance, don't write cliches because that's just rude. For example, I would never have Ty say 'I'm such a prude haha kiss me Quinn.' nor would he say 'Ew ew ew I don't like this AHH BARE SHOULDERS RUN CHILDREN SHIELD YOUR EYES!' Actually he might say that but not because he's asexual or anything he's just kind of a freak... 

And please please please do not flaunt your characters sexuality. Unless it's important to the plot or their history, it's really not needed.