Skye's Rants and Life Issues

Today was a rather horrid day. I ran cross country today, and we ran around the neighborhood. The hills around my school are really big and hard to run up, and because of my knee issues, I had an even worse time than the other people on my team. I kind of mucked it up, and I had to take several painkillers when I got home, after practice. I still can't move my legs properly without crying out in pain.
My team lost the debate today. As if I wasn't already beating myself up about it, because I felt it was my fault we lost, my dad thought it be his job to be "Official Mood Trasher." After I started feeling better after I ate a very delicious burger for dinner, my dad asked me about my debate. I told him we suffered a loss, and I didn't want to talk about it right at that moment. He kept pressing me for an answer, and I told him because we didn't make enough good points. He began to go off on me for not winning, not doing my best. Basically telling me I suck at doing what I do.
My knee pains are continuing, despite the painkillers. I can barely walk, I don't know how I'm going to be tomorrow.
I made a post on tumblr, about how suicide tends to go unnoticed on blogs with a smaller amount of followers who don't speak up. It hurts, because I'm one of those blogs.

Today wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, actually. But it was still really bad.
In health class, we had a presentation about youth bullying and suicide. We discussed LGBT bullying, and the rates of suicide around Hawaii, which, apparently, are the highest in the country. What a lovely statistic!
As if this presentation wasn't hitting home as it was, people were acting like dumb asses during the presentation, making fun of the LGBT part and just generally being insensitive, oblivious idiots. I wanted to tell them to shut up but I didn't.
I am indeed bisexual, or pansexual I don't care, and everything the people were going through in the video I have gone through at some point in time. It brought back really crappy memories of being bullied freshman year and sophomore year.

Here we go again. So, you all know how you can make your own wikia, right? Well, my friends and I made one for kicks and giggles and just messed around on it. My friends mostly posted short stories and just screwed around. You can have a chat on the wiki, so sometimes we all just go on there and hang out if we can't text or actually hang out in person.
Today, we had been talking for three hours, my three best guy friends and me. Collin, Roman, and Oscar. Eventually, Roman left, leaving just Collin and Oscar to mess around with. Collin was flirting with me, but I didn't really see it, making science jokes and just generally being a dork. Saying I'm the Smokey to his Bandit, (Bandit is an inside joke between us.) those types of jokes. I wasn't really paying that much attention to it though, because since I'm the only girl in the group, I get hit on and joked about sometimes. It's all supposed to be good fun though.
But then Oscar left out of the blue, and Collin started being a bit awkward, and then he asked me out.
If any of you care, I am not very good with social situations. Even on the internet! I also get panic attacks very easily. I feel like the room's spinning, maybe like there's a lot of pressure on me, even though there's not. I started freaking out and gently let him down, saying he was one of my best friend's, and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship.
My friend Oscar came back on after I called him, practically hyperventilating, and he smoothed everything over by talking about the 60s and just being weird and quoting V for Vendetta.
Oscar called me and said that Collin was cool, but he was feeling bad about being friend-zoned and that kind of stuff. Gah, I hate everything.