I woke up hearing my mum shouting that i'll be late for school. I quickly hurried and took a shower. I was actually early but I go to school with a van. After getting ready, the van driver reached my home on time. I was pretty nervous that day because I had sat for my exams last week and this week I might get some results.
When I reached school, I felt scared. I heart was beating faster then usual. Why? I am scared to go to school because of my Mathematics teacher. She always shouts at me for no reason. Sometimes there are reasons but she doesn't have to shout at me. It makes me sad. I walked in and sad hello to the guard who was sitting in his office right behind the gate. Later, I put my bag in my classroom and hurried to the assembly point with a book.
"I'm so scared" I muttered to myself.
I just continued walking to the assembly point and sat down to read my book. I am in the first class of my school which is the class for the 'Smart Kids' but to those smart kids I am a nobody. See, my dad expects me to beat their marks and all but I simply can't. It was hard.
I just read my book for ten minutes. The teacher on duty was on the stage and was ready to give a long and boring speech or announcement. After that, all the students when to class. It was Science period. It was actually my favourite period. I was excited at first but my excitement ended when teacher had announced my name and showed me my exam paper. I got a B+.
I was so sad. My eyes were filled with tears. It was the first time I had gotten a B+ for my Science. I knew the teacher was very disappointed in me. I could see it in her eyes. I didn't cry but I hold back a tear because people would think that I was a girl for crying just for getting a B+. Everybody around me said it was okay but I wasn't satisfied with my marks.
I sat down on my chair and just thought what my tutor and my dad would say after finding out. I needed to get away from the pain. So, I planned to not tell my dad until the time was right.
Holidays came. We had two weeks to enjoy and relax. After that, we had to go to school for the second term. I was sad I had to lie to my own father. To get away from the pain, I simply surfed the Internet and enjoyed chatting with people from other countries not realizing time had just passed by like the wind.
It was the last day of school break for the second term. Just that evening I realized I had tons of homework that wasn't finished. I was starting to freak out. Thank god it was only Maths. I was always fast in finishing Maths stuff. It was easy for me but I had finished quite late because I had started also late. I always delayed my priorities for no reason. Maybe it was the ADHD, I thought.
I started becoming depress that I had to tell my dad my results. As soon as I told him he was very sad and didn't talked toe the whole day. It was the only time I failed him but he seemed really sad. I told him to give me a second chance and hoped he would agree. He simple nodded with a fake smile that I detected.
~to be continued~
Subject: The Sadness 
Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:46 am
