Niahi2´s Charecter

Posts : 1 Join date : 2012-11-03

* birth certificate

Name: Estefania Montemayor
Nicknames: Nia
Age:11
Place of Birth: (optional
Godly Parent: Aphrodite
Mortal Family: unknown
Claimed or Unclaimed: unclaimed

* camp life

Year-Round or Summer Camper: Summer Camper
Years at Camp: 1 week
History: Nia was a normal girl. She thought she was. She started seeing things with her eyes and couldn not bear it. At home she had 2 parents but they were really created by the Mist. Her mother was a gorgon and her father was a giant. Her brother was not real. It was a disaster for Nia. She ran for her dear life. Then a satyr was passing by and found her. He took her to CHB

* the psyche

Personality: Nice, funny, sometimes sad, can be wild
Fatal Flaw: Vanity
Likes: Nice people, clothes, her dagger
Dislikes: Queen Bees, Gossip, pink

* the appearance

Physical Description: Shoulder legnth brown with a tinge of red red rim glasses. Kaledioskope eyes. wavy hair
Dressing Style: Skinny Jeans , tshirts, shoes or boots

* the defensive system

Demigod Talents: Charmspeak
Weapons: Daggers (Celestial bronze) that can see the past
Pets:None

* the puppet master
(for new members only)

Name/Alias: Niahi2
Interests: Pjo, the kane chronicles
How you found this site: Google

Subject: Re: Niahi2´s Charecter Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:03 pm

Hi!
I'm Vina, and I play Artemis and Calypso as canons. Its nice to meet you Niahi2!
So a few things about your character app.
One, her history is a little confusing. You could elaborate more on the things she saw, maybe how her family were monsters. Did she have a family before, and they were kidnapped? Its all a little confusing XD
Two, her personality also needs to be elaborated. Four sentences is the minimum for personality, so why not give some more traits and such to her?
Fatal Flaw could also be elaborated on, just to tell us how Vanity is fatal for her.
Physical Description needs to be longer, especially if your not using a picture. Four sentences is the minimum here too, so I'd make full sentences for each part of her appearance [Example, eye color, Hair color, Skin color..]
Charmspeak is a forbidden power even for Aphrodite Kids, so I'd remove that.
And her celestial bronze dagger wouldn't really be able to see the past. It sounds a lot like Piper's knife, and her's was pretty much one-of-a-kind.
If you'd like any help, I'd be happy to oblige (: Just shoot me a PM, and I'll do what I can XD

~Vina

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