Well, this is my first try at a comedic monolauge.
Here it goes:
Y'know how everybody asks the question "Who would you bring on a desert island?" I would most likely respond with, "My cousin." But that's not the best answer. I would bring Bear Grylls, he's the only person who goes out alone with a camera crew! He doesn't know any survival skills, really. I mean, who puts on a survivalist show and probably gets food and water given to him between shots? At least if I bring him, I would be rescued. Or at least given a raft to go home in.
NEXT PART
Back when I lived back in B*****, I loved hanging out on Pearl Street. All the shops and street preformers just enertained me. Most of all, I loved the beggers. They weren't any classic ones, they told the truth. All they wanted was beer and drugs. The begger that caught my eye looked like the classic begger. Ragged clothing, a long beard, and covered in dirt. He was also in a wheelchair, which he probably just borrowed from a friend. After we gave him some money, he stood up. Yes, he stood up, folded up his wheelchair, and walked into Starbucks.
Never trust beggers.
(I put starries in the name because I didn't want you guys to know where I lived O.O)