| I'm writing a Novel | |
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+5Zan Inaniloquist maddie ☹ Pooh-Bear jessica 9 posters |
What do you think of this so far? | It's Awesome! | | 33% | [ 2 ] | Great | | 33% | [ 2 ] | Okay(What did I miss?) | | 0% | [ 0 ] | Needs some work (pleae tell me on what) | | 17% | [ 1 ] | Bad(give suggestions) | | 17% | [ 1 ] |
| Total Votes : 6 | | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: I'm writing a Novel Mon Nov 01, 2010 2:09 am | |
| Some of you may know, but most of you don't. I'm writing a novel. I'm working on the second chapter write now which is actually call Chapter One, because of the introduction. I'm here to tell you that I want to share the short introduction with ya'll. (he he ya'll). So here goes nothing. Tell me what you think. Oh and I haven't typed the whole intro out yet so this is just a piece oof it.
Introduction=
I’m Mychelle Diana Karra. I’m thirteen years old and my birthday is today, November second, 1997. I am about five feet tall, I know I’m short. What do I look like? I have straight light blond hair, dark blue eyes, a slight smile probably from my mothers inability to have a big smile, my legs are long and skinny, and my braces are currently pink. That’s not my whole appearance, so hang on for a few more agonizing seconds of describing myself, almost perfect me. I have tanned skin, rosy cheeks, thin but healthy body, light brown eyebrows, and a small nose. I love to wear pink, purple, blue, or black, after all black is slimy. I have one major thing to say. I, Mychelle Diana Karra, am all about fashion. I would say my two flaws are being mostly Scottish (The rest of me is Mexican) and being rich. Sometimes being rich makes me brag, which is probably why I don’t have many friends. Most of the girls my age want to be me though. I am outgoing towards my friends, family, and the people I want to confront. That’s not much at all. I’m kind and caring most of the time. I’m not an outdoorsy type at all. My father left my family when I was born, so I don’t even know him. I have a brother named Derek and my mother Trish, doesn’t really care about me that much. She calls me doll an awful lot, which I hate. Then there’s my step-dad Darren who has a little daughter named Katy. Now she’s a doll. I love my family most of the time and my friends too! I don’t know my real feelings for my real dad, right now the hope that he’ll come back and give me a hug. First of all, this is my journal. Here you’ll find stories and secrets about my friends, family, and crushes. I only share it with my closest friends. That should mean you! You and only you. But if I were you I’d share this book with your best friend. Let’s start in the story of which I met one of my best friends in the whole wide world. This is Mell. ‘It’s my first day of Kindergarten or September 14th, 2003. My hair is in pigtails. I walk into a classroom full of kids my age, I don’t know what to expect. (just remember I didn’t right this story in Kindergarten. I’ve kept in my head for a long time). A olive skinned girl walked up to me. She had black hair in pigtails, just like my hair was. Her blue dress wasn’t fancy like my pink one. She had piercing green eyes, which made me a little jealous. She had a smile that was a smidge smaller than mine. She said, “Hello, my name is Elizabeth Melissa Hamton. Call me Mell. Who are you?” “I’m Mychelle Diana Karra. You can call me Mychelle or Ella, either one will do. Nice to meet you Elizabeth-” I say stopping as soon as I heard my self say Elizabeth. “I thought I said to call me Mell. Or did I? Huh?” “Sorry, Nice to meet you Mell!” “You too! Want to sit together?” “Sure, why don’t you like your name, Mell?” “Long story, I’ll tell you when I can trust you more.” After my short conversation with Meliss- Mell, I follow her to a table in the middle of the room. Funny enough our names were right by each other. We sit down in our seats and wait for the teacher and the good-morning bell. We had to wait five minutes or was it ten. I didn’t know how to tell time yet.’
Well, that’s my friend Mell. I don’t want to tel you why Mell doesn’t like to be called by her real name, yet. I’ll tell you later. Now time for another story. This one is from Third Grade. It’s a very good memory. It’s the memory of Cassidy Laliss Bootch. She is my other best friend. She treats me great. Here’s the fabulous story about how Mell and I became friends with Cassidy Bootch.
‘It’s the middle of Fourth Grade, and the teacher, Ms.Butcher announced, “Class please welcome your new classmate Cassidy L. Bootch. Cassidy fixed her model like hair. In unison the class said, “Welcome to Ms.Butcher’s class, Cassidy.” The class resumed their wispering, mostly gossip. The teacher turned to Cassidy and said, “Cassidy, you can sit with Mychelle and Elizabeth.” Mell shuddered when she heard her name. Mell reminded the teacher that she didn’t like to be called Elizabeth, and that Mell was fine. As Cassidy got closer, I could make out her full appearance.
Cassidy had straight brownish-red hair that went to the small of her back, she had beautiful hazel eyes that were as beautiful as mine and Mell's, she wore glasses, and she had a big smile that everyone adored. Then she was missing two teeth that she must've recently lost, but now she is wearing braces that are always one shade of orange. At the time she was wearing a bright orange dress, much like a princesses. Cassidy had high cheek bones and she barely had any eyelashes. She was wearing pitch black flats, her favorite, I was told, soon.
During work time Cassidy said, "Hello Elizabeth. Hello Mychelle." Mell said, "Hello Cassidy. Please call me Mell." I said, "Hello Cassidy. It's very nice to meet you." "Oh course it's nice to meet me. I'm a princess. It's exquisite to meet you girls." said Cassidy her hair going over her right shoulder so that Mell could see it.'
Well that's the story of how I met Cassidy. We've been best friends ever since Mell and I met her. We didn't believe she was an actual princess, but turns out she is. Today is the day before Mell and I first met Cassidy. Since today is my birthday, I'll be sharing the day I turn 13 with you. Mell and Cassidy are probably waiting for me at the school. We'd better hurry, we don't want to be late.
Let's make sure I have necessary items. For example, I need the very journal I'm writing to you in. I also need my flute and backpack, that includes all my school needs. I grab my money for lunch and I grab my school preparation checklist. I read down the list to make sure I have everything. Got it. Got it, got it. Got it and don't got it. Where's my special occasion sweater? I wore it on all special occasions. I go to the small section of my closet, where I kept special clothes. There it was. I slipped it over my pink birthday dress that had been hung right next to it just an hour before. The pink fabric was very comforting.
Please tell me what you think, and I need suggestions!
Last edited by Birthday Gal! on Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:24 am; edited 1 time in total | |
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Pooh-Bear
Posts : 1143 Join date : 2010-07-03 Age : 27 Location : Cali Baby!! nah, just kidding.
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:40 pm | |
| Sounds good...I'd like to hear more of it thoough cause it seems like there are alot of books like this but who knows.... xD.
I'm writing a book too, or trying to. I have 6 chapters, hehe. | |
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maddie ☹ Grammar Police
Posts : 3985 Join date : 2010-05-30 Age : 25 Location : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:43 pm | |
| I'm working on a Fanfic AND a Novel. Jeese, I needa stop trying to write stuff 8D | |
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Inaniloquist Admin
Posts : 1104 Join date : 2009-10-27 Age : 30
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:17 pm | |
| Is this for NaNoWriMo? I've been thinking of trying that as well, but I don't think I have the time, hahaha. | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:38 pm | |
| I've beeen working on my fanfic...Moo knows what I'm talking about...she's in it. This one...is alright. | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:25 am | |
| Thanks for everyones opinions! | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:24 am | |
| Well I added more to it, but it's almost done. (Introduction not whole book) | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:18 pm | |
| Well...I actually read it this time and if you're going to write you kinda have to get to the point. In the first paragraphs you're describing the character too much. Readers will pick up the book and read the first couple paragraphs and get bored. There isn't really anything in there to grab the reader's attention. IN the first paragraph of Percy Jackson it kinda grabs you and reels you in. Ex: Look I didn't want to be a half-blood. Wouldn't you wanna read the book if the first sentence was like that? | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:09 pm | |
| Chapter one is when stuff starts to kick in like that. | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:10 pm | |
| So is this the preface? Because if it is, then the preface is when you wanna grab the reader's attention. | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:11 pm | |
| The introduction is giving background info. Like when the friends met... | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:12 pm | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:15 pm | |
| yeah I gues. I could add somethinggg..... but wut? | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:18 pm | |
| Something to grab the reader's attention. What is the novel about? | |
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jessica SICJ A WPMDERF; MEMBER
Posts : 3522 Join date : 2010-10-09 Age : 27
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:36 pm | |
| "Bout the three friends surviving 7th Grade and how they're completely Different
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sat Nov 06, 2010 10:55 pm | |
| Oh my...quite a general topic. You'll probably need some revenge, betrayal, gossip and romance along the way. | |
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Yolonda
Posts : 158 Join date : 2010-07-13 Age : 26 Location : In the sky. Yeah, that's right, SKY. Did I mention I have WINGS?
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:20 am | |
| - Girl! wrote:
- "Bout the three friends surviving 7th Grade and how they're completely Different
I wrote a book just like that, except that they're in the 6th grade, and they have to be in a really, really, really embarrassing play. So they blow up the school... Another book I've written is currently getting published. Keep an eye out for "The Twins(Sci-Fi music, please)" by Yolonda Brianne Miller,or the "eddited" version of my name they're sure to do, Yolanda Brianna Miller. I think that you could start with a person, like a parent, calling her to come downstairs for presents because every one is waiting. | |
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Baby Lex Experienced Poster
Posts : 2917 Join date : 2010-10-10 Age : 29 Location : Dumbhairshire.
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:36 am | |
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dean Experienced Poster
Posts : 4384 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 31
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:07 am | |
| I've written a whole series of books :D Eight in total xD | |
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Baby Lex Experienced Poster
Posts : 2917 Join date : 2010-10-10 Age : 29 Location : Dumbhairshire.
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:20 am | |
| Ooh. Ive written a book when I was in 3rd grade. It was 9 pages and each page consisted of mostly a paragraph of words and a huge picture. XD My new one's awesome- or at least, its gonna be. Just ask Roxanne. | |
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Katrina Fabenclawe
Posts : 20 Join date : 2010-10-28 Location : Yeah, cause I'm gonna tell you that.
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:34 am | |
| Not bad! You know, I think this would sell. I like it, I just don't like the part about not liking black. :D Yeah, joking. It's really good. | |
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Baby Lex Experienced Poster
Posts : 2917 Join date : 2010-10-10 Age : 29 Location : Dumbhairshire.
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:40 am | |
| *ahem* can you check mine out? I only have the intro posted, and if people like it, ill post more. | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 10:30 am | |
| EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALEX'S. IT'S FRICKIN' GLAZE. | |
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Baby Lex Experienced Poster
Posts : 2917 Join date : 2010-10-10 Age : 29 Location : Dumbhairshire.
| Subject: Re: I'm writing a Novel Sun Nov 07, 2010 10:43 am | |
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