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maddie ☹
Grammar Police
Posts : 3985
Join date : 2010-05-30
Age : 25
Location : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 |  Subject: Chuck Norris facts  Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:38 pm | |
| Title says it all :)
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. | |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:44 pm | |
| July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not. |
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maddie ☹
Grammar Police
Posts : 3985
Join date : 2010-05-30
Age : 25
Location : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:48 pm | |
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Gazimu
Mr. Content Cucumber
Posts : 1672
Join date : 2010-02-09
Age : 28
Location : Somewhere, waiting.
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:13 am | |
| chuck norris doesnt have a control key on his keyboard, chuck norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart isnt nealy foolish enough to attack him.
and my last for now, of course...
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. | |
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Dusk
Posts : 805
Join date : 2010-06-24
Age : 28
Location : Holland.
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 3:50 am | |
| Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. I got em off this siteI just picked out my fav's | |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:05 am | |
| When Jesus was born there were 4 kings who gave gifts, the 4th was Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris gave him the gift of mustache which Jesus wore until the day He died.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table of Elements because the only element he knows is the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris doesn't get heart attacks, his heart is too afraid to attack him.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed when he was a child, the bed wet itself out of fear.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Nobody spanks Chuck Norris. NOBODY.
Chuck Norris sued a company for using the names Law and Order which are actually the names of his left and right leg.
Who would win in a battle? Superman or Batman?
Answer: Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:11 am | |
| Chuck Norris Sued MySpace for using the name of everything he calls around him |
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Sona
Posts : 844
Join date : 2010-05-05
Age : 26
Location : Canada
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:20 am | |
| Chuck norris can slam a revolving door | |
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Momus Boy
Posts : 430
Join date : 2010-07-27
Age : 104
Location : CANADA
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:58 am | |
| You took that Law And Order one! I was gonna use it!
If Chuck Norris ever fought himself, he would win. Period.
Chuck Norris always has a night-light. Not because he is scarred of the dark but because the dark is scared of him.
Chuck Norris.
The First rule is you don't talk about Chuck Norris. | |
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Pooh-Bear
Posts : 1143
Join date : 2010-07-03
Age : 27
Location : Cali Baby!! nah, just kidding.
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:06 pm | |
| His real name is Carlos.
When the ground is shaking, you know hes around.
um thats all I got | |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:46 pm | |
| Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
When Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Last edited by Crispy Bacon on Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:05 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Wrote movies instead of moves/said wrotes instead of wrote. >>;;) |
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Guest
Guest
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selene
Honorary Staff Member
Posts : 3995
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 25
Location : I have no idea. I just woke up here, dude.
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:54 am | |
| Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
Chuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends".
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever!
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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maddie ☹
Grammar Police
Posts : 3985
Join date : 2010-05-30
Age : 25
Location : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:50 pm | |
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Pooh-Bear
Posts : 1143
Join date : 2010-07-03
Age : 27
Location : Cali Baby!! nah, just kidding.
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:16 pm | |
| Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
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Norm Normal
Posts : 208
Join date : 2010-02-09
Age : 27
Location : Camp Half-Blood
| | Subject: Re: Chuck Norris facts Sat Dec 18, 2010 5:37 pm | |
| When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie,he does not turn into a zombie. The zombie turns into Chuck Norris. It is also the reason why zombies do not exist.
When Chuck Norris takes his morning walk,the plants spit at the sun for lying about being the basic source of energy.
Chuck Norris holds the record for donating blood. But none of it was his own.
Chuck Norris was removed from mortal kombat due to the fact that every button performed a roundhouse kick.
The universe was created in a farting contest between Chuck Norris and God. God was so ashamed of losing that he never showed his face again. | |
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