we've seen worlds that don't belong [private]

brush off the dirt and

LET MY CHANGE OF HEART OCCUR

Someone in the infirmary was a snitch. June had been allowed to move from the infirmary to stay in her own cabin after the first week of recovery, under the condition that she returned for daily checkups and necessary treatment. Of course, because of her undying hatred for the infirmary, June had agreed wholeheartedly to the terms without any intention of following them. She had gotten away with not showing up the first day—must have been clocked as personal recuperation time—but by the third day Apollo healers were dragging her to her checkups.
This day had been no different. June was only receiving medical attention because she literally had no choice. If it were up to her, she would be as far from camp as possible, as far from whatever hurt her. She didn't know if she would be safe, but at least she would be away from all the attention. After being walked all the way down to the infirmary, the larger Apollo boys had fled to return to their usual duties, and June had been left to wander back to the benches herself. June was angry, and she marched with purpose. She wanted the whole makeshift hospital to know how she felt.
She stopped walking abruptly when she noticed Jonathan Adams seated in the benches she had been occupying in days past. His pleasant address caught her off guard, and she tried not to appear taken aback. Straightening her own posture to match that of Jonathan's, not one to be outdone, June nodded. "I've been better," she mused, unsure of whether or not to take a seat next to the boy. "I'm just a lucky girl," June groaned, finally sliding into the open space next to Jonathan. "As you know."

coded by sapphire

brush off the dirt and

LET MY CHANGE OF HEART OCCUR

June managed a dry laugh at the mention of the apocalypse, the event that singlehandedly sent her into a spiral of terrible decisions and questionable life choices. She suppressed a shiver that threatened to run down her spine and shrugged at Jonathan. "Don't know what the gods have against you, pretty boy," she huffed, chuckling slightly. Nicknames—June used to put out so much confidence she freely gave them out. Although she tried to pretend she was still that self assured, June wasn't much like her old self. Nicknames weren't a thing she had done in quite some time. Perhaps it was because Jonathan was a boy from her past, a connection to her old life, possibly her only connection to Caleb, but she felt something being near him.
June froze at the mention of her deceased best friend. Her eyes grew so wide she looked like a deer caught in headlights, and her eyebrows shot straight up her forehead. Thinking about his death, her blood ran cold. People hadn't mentioned Caleb to June, not in so long. Everyone avoided the topic altogether. Somehow it had become taboo, even though she was sure most campers knew their entire story. June was pleased to hear his name, to be reminded that he had existed, that June hadn't been given false memories of a fictional boy to tantalize her mind forever. But the memory of him was also far too painful. "He did," June whimpered—yes, whimpered—as her gaze drifted to her lap, where her hands were anxiously clasping and unclasping. "Haven't been making the best decisions with him gone," June admitted, biting her lip. She was swelling with emotion. It was so difficult to speak honestly about the situation aloud, especially to someone who had shared in knowing Caleb. She felt like she could be truthful about everything for the first time, and she was having trouble holding back now that the floodgates for honest conversation had been opened.
"Time's passing.. but I'm just not moving on. I can't, Jonathan. Caleb was all I had." June hung her head. She didn't open pity herself, despite her terrible lot in life. She wasn't even upset about her injuries on the hill. The loss of her best friend was the only thing she ever let herself wallow in. She had loved him. June never loved anyone, but she loved Caleb. Still did. "He means—meant.. everything." Past tense.. even years later June struggled to believe that Caleb could really be gone forever. Did Jonathan feel the same immense loss? Did someone else in this world miss the hole Caleb had left behind? Did they feel it's gravity?

coded by sapphire

brush off the dirt and

LET MY CHANGE OF HEART OCCUR

June stared blankly at Jonathan, overwhelmed. She wasn't sure whether to accept his invitation of comfort or to continue suffering alone. She was pretty convinced if hers and Caleb's roles had been flipped, he wouldn't have taken solace in anyone. Was it right for her to be this weak? So weak, she could no longer handle everything herself?
June decided for once, it was. She leaned slightly into Jonathan, still weary of touch. Her breathing grew more and more labored as she realized she was panicking, finally openly expressing feelings and reactions she had kept pent up for so long. "I haven't been okay since he left," June whispered hoarsely. Her voice cracked and she let out a shaky sigh. "I want him back, Jonathan," June moaned, her hands balling into tight fights as she fought tears. They were in the back of the infirmary, no one was around, but she was still worried about showing too much vulnerability. She was supposed to be June Prenston. June Prenston was supposed to care only about herself. Caleb had to come along and be the painful exception.
"I've thought about joining him a lot," June admitted, raising her head to gauge Jonathan's reaction. Her eyes were wet, but no tears fell. "Not really sure what I have left to live for." June had never tried to kill herself, but her lifestyle wasn't exactly ensuring she stayed alive either. Subconsciously, she had stopped caring about her physical wellbeing long ago. It was her emotion wellbeing that she sought to conquer, but found herself unable. "Don't even have a parent to look out for me. I literally just have him." June cried, then. She cried. She missed Caleb. She missed what her life once was, what it should have still been. And she felt so empty.

coded by sapphire