Rest now, my warrior || Livolai

New Years Eve had always been a favorite holiday for Nikolai Winchester. Sure, the fireworks were great and the parties even greater, but that wasn't why he loved it as much as he did. He loved New Years for one soul purpose. He made it through another year alive. With only one emergency trip to the clinic this year, Nikolai considered this a banner year for him. His eating habits improved (though only slightly), and so had his outlook on life (though this had improved greatly). At one point in his life, Nikolai had acted like Vincent Van Gogh, all sad and depressed and mopey, that is, until he found a girl. That girl for Nikolai was Livia Malcolm. And unlike Van Gogh, who had his heart shattered into a million pieces and never really got over it, Livia made Nik want to be a better person.

And so, in thanks for that, Nikolai was going to take her on a picnic to celebrate the New Years. He had a backpack sung over his shoulders, packed full with a blanket and food and drinks. Nikolai couldn't cook to save his life, so he had 'borrowed' food from the camp store and mess hall. Hey, if anybody said that that was the wrong thing to do, Nikolai would have countered it was for a good cause. And it was. He wanted to do something nice for Liv today. Nik waited on the beach, feeling the water lap up against his worn orange chuck taylors, soaking the thin canvas fabric and sloshing inside his shoe. That was the only thing bright about his outfit. Nikolai wore black and white, a white shirt, and a black peacoat jacket, with dark jeans to match. He also had on glasses like the ones that sterotypical nerds wore, but with fake lenses. Nikolai was a nerd at times. Nik's sword was hidden away in the pocket of his jeans, disguised as a charm. One could not be careful enough at night, especially if you were a demigod such as he was. 

He silently wondered what the night had in store for the two of them. Only time would tell, but Nik hoped that it would go according to plan. He heard someone approaching him, and Nikolai could only assume it was Livia. His heart beat wildly in his chest, and Nik hoped he wouldn't royally screw this New Years Eve picnic up with some stupid line. He had a tendency to mess things up. Like his life. He had messed that up pretty badly. So he turned and smiled. "Hey," Nik said. It was lame, but it was better than nothing.

Nikolai was good at forgetting. It was how he made it through the past two New Years. Remembering meant unwanted memories, and unwanted memories could cause an array of things that Nik wasn't ready to bring up again, mostly Anorexia Nervosa. But also forgetting drove monster Nik away. He hoped that Liv was trying to forget too. Murdering someone was horrible, but if you were really sorry about it and you admitted it, Nik thought you should be allowed to forget about that. If Liv was really sorry (and Nik really hoped she was, because he didn't want a murderer for a girlfriend) she should let go of those awful months when Nikolai was in rehab. 

He watched as Livia took a bottle and drank some of its contents. Nik did the same thing, knowing full well what the liquid had in it. Nikolai Winchester was no stranger when it came to alcohol. He had picked up his first beer when he was ten, when Cas offered him one in their garage. When the bullying got tough, Nik had resorted to drinking to wash away his problems, to forget, even if it was just for an hour or two. Nikolai remembered the night Sam found him downing a bottle of vodka and got through to him just in time to make him stop before he did any permanent damage to his preteen body. That was before his eating disorder, but after monster Nik had won, craving perfection and spitting out anything less.Was Nikolai proud that he drank at such an early age? No, he wasn't. But it was a way for the world to recede along with the problems and worries of everyday life. It was hardly good for him, but then again, neither was Anorexia, and that had continued on longer than his life of drinking every night had.

While Nikolai was deep in thought about his childhood and how horribly morbid it was, he failed to notice Liv greeting him until long after the chirp of the crickets and the lap of the waves overtook the two demigods like a big cotton blanket. Nik looked at Liv again. "You look nice tonight," He said just as softly as Livia. His voice was oddly strained. This was the first girl he had a crush on, so really Nikolai was new at this stuff. He looked at his watch. 11:59 it read. Soon it would be 2014, and Father Time would shed his old skin like a snake and be reborn into a brand new baby, giggling and bright and beautiful and innocent. Though, that wouldn't last forever. In 2014 there would be wars. Big wars. Wars that would consume both mortals and demigods alike. Nik couldn't understand why there always had to be evil in this world. Of course, without evil, he wouldn't be Nikolai Winchester today.

There was rumbling off in the distance, and Nik took it for early fireworks or deep dupstep beats shaking the ground and disturbing the dead millions of miles below them. "You know," Nik started to say. If he wanted this, he would have to do this fast because midnight was almost upon them. "I've never had a New Years kiss before." Nerves took over the young boy and he closed his eyes and leaned in, almost regretting his decision. Nik could only hope Livia would laugh in his face stand up and point at him. He'd been having that nightmare for the past three days. It was only his past coming back to haunt him at such a good time in his life, but Nikolai was determined not to let it ruin him, or his chances with Livia.

Then there was shouting. Not the shouting that came with joy of the new year, but fearful shouting like the kind in horror movies. Nikolai pulled away, opening his eyes and scanning the area around him. Monsters were coming. The once hopeful, peaceful start to 2014 Nik had planned for was ruined and smashed. He grabbed the charm in his pocket which turned into a sword. "Oh my gods," He whispered as he looked at Livia, wide eyed. "Look, I really care if you die, so please try not too." There was only one thing to be done at a time like this (It didn't include Nik sweeping Liv into his arms and kissing her before running off into battle to defend her like the movies portrayed. Nik knew full well Liv could defend herself.) and so Nikolai Winchester charged into the mass of monsters, some of them he knew, others were strange to him. The picnic was forgotten as one thought raced through Nik's brain: Shit. I don't know how to fight.

Well this was an excellent way to start off the New Year. First a kiss, and then you were thrown into a battle where you got your ass kicked. Nikolai fought as hard as he could, stabbing left and right, getting sand in his shoes and blood in his hair. Monsters died at his hand, and Nik would have hated himself for doing what he was currently, but they did mess up his first date with Livia. They had to pay. The monsters were slow and stupid and clumsy, which made them an easy target for Nik to kill. If only Monster Nik could be like that. But Monster Nik was fast and swift and deadly like an assassin born and trained to kill a political leader. Nikolai was never going to get rid of him, no matter how hard he tried.

And no matter how hard he tried, Nikolai Winchester couldn't shake off the real monsters in front of him, piling around him like a circle. He wasn't a fighter. He wasn't a warrior. He was just Nikolai, and he was going to lose this battle. Maybe it was because he knowingly skipped classes. After all, he was stuck here for a couple more years, there was no way monsters were going to get into camp. Nik groaned at his stupidity. Maybe part of him losing was because of the fact that his mind still lingered on the few seconds where he and Liv actually kissed. It was perfect, exactly how he imagined it to be. It wasn't a fake kiss, at least, not for Nik it wasn't. He really did love Livia Malcolm, and he really did love kissing her too.

Nikolai dodged a blow from a ugly minotaur. Gods, it was hideous, and he wondered when the last time it practiced good personal hygiene. At least when Nik was in the clinic all depressed and mopey he still took showers every other day. Nik stabbed the monster, and felt all the bones and blood and skin of the minotaur turn into gold dust that surrounded him. Because of how many monsters Nik and Liv had killed, you couldn't tell regular sand from the sand of dead monsters. Nik was surprised that blood hadn't turned the entire lake a crimson red. As Nik prepared to charge into another battle with a different but equally nasty monster, he tripped on a log, sending sand flying around him, the little pebbles taking flight for a few seconds. He was blinded momentarily, and that perhaps was the reason why Nik couldn't see a monster, one he couldn't quite name, charging straight towards him, a deadly spear poised in its hand. Nik started to get, and the monster threw the spear and it hit the young demigod in the stomach, the steel hard tip buried in his body. 

Nikolai looked down, awestruck, trying to form words but unable too. With his fleeting strength , he pulled out the spear and fell down, crying out in pain, letting his scream echo throughout the beach. Blood pooled around him, and Nik's vision started to go dark. "Liv," He barely whispered, hoping she could hear him. Then, there was nothing.

Everybody died, in the end. You couldn't avoid dying, it was inevitable. Only the gods, high and mighty on their thrones up in Olympus could cheat death, and sometimes even that failed. They were immortal. Humans were not, and that included demigods. So by default, that made Nikolai prone to death. He had always wanted to die, and once or twice he had tried to end his own life. Obviously those plans had failed, but it did manage to bring unwanted attention both at home and at school. But now that Nikolai had everything, everything he could have ever wanted, now he had to die. Fates were cruel, once you had something, they took another thing away. This time just happened to be Nik's very life. He couldn't stop dying, he couldn't stop the descent into Hades no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't do anything but lay there among the sand and the pool of his own blood, feeling his life trickle out by the seconds. Nikolai's eyes were still closed, fluttering here and there, but they couldn't open.

And then there were hands under Nik's arms, and someone was holding him. Nik didn't even need to think about who it was, he already knew. Liv. It was Liv who had caught him just seconds before he gave into death. She was crying, and Nik wanted to jump up, his wound gone, and he wanted to kiss the teardrops from her face and say how sorry he was for tricking her into thinking he was dead. But he couldn't. So instead of doing that, he just talked, even though it was hell for him too."Don't, don't cry, Livia. Not for me." Nik said, his voice barely a whisper. He was going to die. "It's okay. Please... please don't cry."

It was getting harder to breathe, like his chest was being pushed on by 5 million tons of rocks. Nik had to gasp to get the right amount of air. Even though he knew he was going to die, that wouldn't stop Nikolai from being here as long as possible to be with Liv. Liv was all he had in this world that kept him from becoming a monster. Without her by his side, Nik would have been dead a long time ago, overcome by the need to be perfect. But the good Nik was dying faster than monster Nik, and the goodness inside him was deteriorating quicker than he could've ever thought possible. 

He turned his head to the side when Liv put the ambrosia to his mouth. Nikolai wasn't hungry, and maybe that was a side effect of dying, he wasn't sure. "I can't." He uttered weakly. This was true, how was he supposed to digest something when he got stabbed in the stomach? Ambrosia wouldn't do much good, he thought. Then again, Livia probably knew more about healing than he did, after all, Nikolai did skip all the classes he could. It was his own fault, really. If he wouldn't have been so stupid and actually watched what was happening around him, maybe he wouldn't have gotten stabbed. But he wasn't worried about dying. He had already accepted his fate. He was worried about the grief he knew he was going to cause Livia when he was gone. "Liv, I love you." Nik said, and he wanted to open his eyes and see her face one last time and give her one last reassuring smile before he went. His eyes however, wouldn't grant him that simple wish.