dreams only last for a night (bean)

Gods was it late. Unfortunately, Skyler was an insomniac. And it was always late. So he just shook off his bad dreams about his father still being alive and headed outside. The darkness enveloped the world, making the shadows deeper and the ghosts of nightmares more frequent visitors. Skyler was beginning to doubt himself. He followed his feet as he contemplated why he was such a freaking insomniac. Skyler hated that word. It sounds far too much like maniac, something that the boy thought was the worst kind of insult. Of course, Skyler was kind of a maniac in his own way. He was far from stupid and Skyler knew that he was considered autistic. Marked for an idiot that was going no where, Skyler had always been left to rot. But Skyler, in his own little world, allowed himself to expand without others. As soon as he had been marked as different, his family hated him. His old sister and parents ignored him. In return he ignored everyone else. Skyler’s family shook him out of his daydream. His father was dead, there was no denying it.

But was he really? Skyler was continuously haunted by this prospect. He could not bear the thought that Skyler had been riding off of a lie. He only had himself to trust - and when he could not trust himself, who was there to trust? Skyler was a loner. While actually pretty social, Skyler could not maintain relationships. He had learned that he was the only person who could not let himself down - except Skyler had yet to find out that this was not true.

Skyler had been following his feet, and they lead him the Cabin Courtyard, where a puff of smoke and a glowing light gave away a person’s presence. Rolling his bleary eyes, Skyler took a seat on the bench next to the person. ”I seriously doubt that.” He gave the girl, who Skyler could now slightly see through the shadows given off by the lights from the cabins, a shake of his head. ”I’m not a tattler.” Skyler had so little respect for authority that he would never tattle on anyone, even if they were doing something really bad. Noticing the girl’s fancy outfit, Skyler looked down at his own, feeling a little strange. He was only wearing a see through tee shirt and checkered pajama pants that barely made it past his ankles. Skyler wore no shoes, despite the penetrating cold that never seemed to bother him. ”If you had told me that we were going to a party, I would have dressed accordingly.” Skyler tried to make a joke, but he just wasn’t actually that funny.

Skyler looked at the ground while the girl had her smoke. He didn’t like smoking; the entirety of it made him want to choke. He had tried smoking once. Everyone else was doing it, so why shouldn’t he? Of course that had turned out badly and Skyler vowed to never smoke again. He hated the feeling of his lungs taking in the smoke that would lead to his downfall. But he only got one life and he should live it to the fullest (a motto that contradicted what he was about to do). After several seconds of silence, Skyler turned to the girl. ”Could I have one?” He asked.

”They can’t eat us if they can’t outrun us.” Skyler gave a sly grin. He was not caught by the harpies often, but when he was, he just ran off campus. Skyler was a good runner and he had only actually gotten in trouble once or twice, but that was by Chiron and he had been put on dish duty (which he had never actually done). He knew that it was probably better to run to his cabin, but Skyler liked running and he liked fear. Plus, once he was out of camp, he could do anything until the sun rose. Skyler, noticing the girl looking at his ragged tee shirt, also looked down self-consciously. It was thin and fraying at the bottoms and a rip in the shoulder revealed Skyler’s pale skin. His family could never afford new clothing and Skyler found himself with less than optimal fashion choices. ”At least I’ll go down in style.” Skyler gave a small smile. He considered himself the epitome of humor.

”It’s very nice to meet you Katarina of Hephaestus.” Skyler said. ”I’m Skyler. And my mum is Nike.” Skyler still pronounced some words with an English accent, even though he had been young when he moved from Great Britain. Skyler was proud of Nike. He considered himself lucky: a lot of his good traits he got from Nike. That was mostly because Skyler considered his father a worthless nobody. As one of the goddess’ only children, Skyler never felt ashamed or ignored by his mother. She went about her business and he went about his. They did not interact much.

Catching the pack of cigarettes in one hand, Skyler looked at the girl, surprised. Cigarettes were expensive and a whole pack was worth much more than Skyler’s pocket money. Skyler could vaguely remember his father smoking when he was a little kid on the rare occasion that they had enough money to afford cigarettes. His older sister would always open the windows: she hated the smell as much as Skyler did. That was one thing they could agree on. But his sister was dead and there was no changing that, so why did it matter? Why should Skyler bother thinking about people who were gone?

His face stayed the same as he thought about his family. Skyler was never sad about them. They were gone and that meant that they were gone. What was there to be sad about? Skyler had never really needed them anyway. But then Skyler sighed and breathed in another breath of smoke as he remembered his little sister. Blythe, he believed her name to be. She was one year younger and the sweetest person he had ever known. But they had lived in separate worlds and Skyler was never very close to any of them. Like it mattered now.

The girl’s face started to distort in anger, but if Skyler registered it he did not show it on his face. Even if he had realized that the girl was mad, Skyler would never figure out he was the one who made her upset. In fact, his face barely changed. Skyler could not see that Katarina was feeling anything at all. All he registered was her words and her smile (fake of course, but Skyler couldnt’ve cared less).

Skyler was a little taken aback by her question, but he answered it nevertheless. He wasn’t scared of his past - well that’s what he liked to think. ”My family was killed by monsters so I er... A satyr took me here. I think.” Skyler could not remember. He had had multiple dreams about this and he couldn’t remember what was true. He didn’t want to remember either.

But something made him think that his family was still alive.

Skyler could hear Kat's hesitation as she apologized about his family. He was surprised and almost taken aback at the fault in her voice. No one had ever seemed to realize that sorry wasn't some magic bandaid that could heal all of Skyler's wounds. But he still smiled. "It's fine." He said, a hint of sarcasm rolled off his tongue along with his words, spoken in a barely detectable British accent. He had lived in America too long to have his original accent, but it was still there, even if only slightly. "They didn't like me all that much anyways." Skyler's tone was half humorous and half something else - bitter, perhaps.

Skyler almost smiled when she said that she murdered her own mother. The company he had here at this camp full of psychopaths. His face returned to it's placid state when she asked him not to run away. "I wasn't planning on it." He said, the humor having disappeared from his voice. Skyler took another drag of his cigarette. The disgusting smoke he was ingesting burned his throat and lungs and Skyler almost choked, but he ignored it. This was just like underaged drinking, he guessed. Anything to wash the pain away.

~short post, sorry. total lack of muse~

Skyler, noticing the scar’s on Kat’s wrists, didn’t look at her. Instead he sat and looked at his bare feet. They were rather dirty for someone who had taken a shower less than 30 minutes ago and much too large. Eleanor always complained about his feet growing - they would tear through new shoes in months and before long Isabelle was wearing his hand-me downs instead of him wearing hers (Skyler had been extremely thankful this wasn’t the case - Isabelle was what he would consider a girly-girly). His family tried to pretend they loved him, but he knew that they didn’t really care. ”It’s hard to take care of an autistic boy when you live in the projects and there is barely enough money for clothes and food.” He said, trying to make a joke (but it was not that funny and there was little humor in his voice).

Skyler shrugged when the girl looked surprised that he didn’t run away. ”No problem.. I guess?” Skyler said uncertainly. He squirmed when Kat hugged him. It had been a long time since he had any close human contact. Come to think of it, Skyler couldn’t remember the last person or time someone had hugged him. ”Just now.” Skyler said, shrugging. He took another breath of smoke into his lungs. It burned in his chest, but Skyler didn’t really care.