give me my wings, put on my pride, don't let me fall [beanie c:]

Posts : 27 Join date : 2011-09-30 Age : 24 Location : mu.

Frey liked silence, even if it seemed otherwise-- he really did appreciate peace, from time to time-- that was why he was here, by Euros creek. Most campers roamed the beach, where warmth radiated from the soft sand, and laughter became one with the sound of splashing. His knuckles were white as he held onto the pebble in his fingers.

(the joyful laughs hurt his ears, and the happiness was drowning him, he was drowning--)

Frey liked silence, but he wished the spot beside him wasn't empty, from time to time-- because his mind was filled with echoes of people screaming, and he had to speak to silence them. The creek wasn't enough. Maybe the beach would have been better. The voices weren't silent, and oh gods, Frey tried to concentrate on the flowing water, and not the flowing crimson that appeared when he closed his eyes--

Standing up abruptly, Frey tossed the pebble into the calm river. It skipped upon the smooth reflection, creating ripples. One, two, three, four. A wry smile quirked his lips, and picked up another flat, grey pebble. With a flick of his wrist, it flew across the water.

One, two, three, four, five.

(--and he was better than this, and he did not need to sulk. he did not need to go on a guilt trip down the oh-so wonderful memory lane. he did not want to do anything anymore, he just wanted to be free--)

The motion was out of place in the placid creek. No-- the better word would be he was out of place. A soft breeze made the fallen, golden leaves dance in the air, around Frey's feet. The shade of a tree shrouded him, while everything else shined from the sun's glow. Yeah, he was wearing white all over, but the shadow made it all grey. Above him, a mockingbird tweeted, ruffling its feathers.

Sighing, Frey tossed one last pebble and watched as it skipped and sank into the creek, disappearing in the crowd of rocks.

Frey liked silence

______________but he could never seem to attain it, even as time passed.

tags: beanie <3
notes: said would post yesterday, ended up today. oops. also, is there no way to tag someone and let them actually get a notif of it? o.o like, y'know, @Bean or something.

give me my wings, put on my pride, don't let me fall [beanie c:] Tumblr_mao3xyn4m41qdxxyt

Livia,

Livia found her way out of the Athena cabin for the first time. She realized that if she headed out towards the forest, towards the endless green trees and the quietly running streams, she could forget anything ever happened. Livia rubbed her bleary eyes, taking note of the tender skin above her eyes.

Livia was really just rolling in a pool of her own guilt. It was her fault, of course, but still. Would she ever be able to forgive herself? Livia doubted it.
But even so, Liv could not help missing the old her. The funny, clever girl was gone. Replaced by this monster, rolling around in a pool of her own guilt and sorrow. She had every right to blame herself. That blood that had splattered her hands - it came as a result of her knife. It came from Livia’s actions. Her conscious choice - kill or be killed (Livia had chose kill; she would regret it for the rest of her life). The fatal fall was the result of Livia’s actions. She hadn’t even known him - but he was her brother. Close enough in appearance to be mistaken for Quell, there was no doubt in Livia’s mind that it had been a child of Athena.

Faye said that the Athenians would move on. But Livia could not help but separate herself from her siblings. She had killed her own kin. She had done it and she had done it knowingly. And that was what killed her. She distanced herself from the people with whom she had put the most trust in. Faye called them all brave, but Livia doubted that what she said was true. Faye was brave. But Livia was a monster.

Sitting on the banks of Euros Creek, Livia watched silently as a boy tossed rocks into the water. It made a nice sound as the rock hopped across the endless blue creek. Livia picked up a stone. it was round and smooth and felt cold in Livia’s hand. She clenched it tightly. Throwing it into the water as hard as she could, Livia felt a sense of satisfaction. The rock made a large splash, throwing water into Livia’s face. It was cold, and the quickly cooling air made it feel more extreme, but Livia ignored it.

Tags: Smiley <3
Notes: I wish lol

Posts : 27 Join date : 2011-09-30 Age : 24 Location : mu.

Swoosh. Ripple, swish.

Frey stiffened, shoulders tensing and hand freezing midair. His grip on the smooth pebble in his fingers tightened, instead of loosening, because what if he were holding something fragile? He couldn't exactly let it hit the ground and shatter. Frey's arm dropped to his side.

Glancing sideways at the girl who had joined Frey by the creek, he saw straight blond hair with an air of regret and guilt all around her, most prominently shown by the dark circles beneath her eyes, quite similar to the bags under Frey's. He had never met this girl in camp before. But then again, he had never met a lot of people in camp before-- the chance of him knowing anyone was very slim.

Glancing sideways at the girl who had joined Frey by the creek, he saw a girl, sorrowful and haunted and here to throw stones, to throw away past regrets. Well, when life gave you unwanted thoughts, what could you do? Tossing those metaphoric stones into the river of Lethe only helped momentarily. Frey bet in a few hours, the satisfaction of this action would be long forgotten.

A cruel smile, in that it was all sweet and pleasant, quirked Frey's lips. Wry amusement reached his eyes. "Here to take your mind off of things?" he asked so softly he could sound like an angel. But he wasn't, oh, far from that. He was more like a heartless monster than anything, especially in the way Frey could say these things without guilt clawing in his heart.

Oh, of course. Being heartless meant he couldn't feel guilt-- how'd he forget that?

"It's not going to work," Frey continued in his light lilt. "It's never going to work. Whatever you're trying to get past? It's an ever-bleeding scar. The more you try to heal it, the more damage you'll deal. Whatever you've done? It's done. You can't change it."

Just like that, the charming angel's smile morphed into a monster's trap, something no one had ever expected, certainly not this demigod.

(Was he still talking to her, or himself?)

tags: beanie <3
notes: so much angst on both sides, omg ;n; and i feel like frey's being so mean to liv just because they're pretty similar, and being mean to liv is like being mean to himself. will they become friends soon? i have no idea o_o

and what was right is wrong,

Oh yes. This was Livia and her newfound company - a boy who shoved his emotions into others. About her age, he also looked too old. Too old and too sad.

She wanted to clench her fists, and scream. The old Liv would have stood up and laughed. At least that’s what she thought. Livia realized that she knew herself almost as much as this boy - this stranger did. But here she was. Gentler than before. Colder too. Livia felt like the air around her had changed.

Gone was the smell of pine and the softly moving river. Although both were still omnipresent, Livia could not shake the smell of death, destruction and fear.

This boy couldn’t either. His words sounded bitter - a lesson he couldn’t follow himself. Livia shook her head, a wistful expression on her face. ”Here to throw my regrets away.” She said quietly. The boy’s voice was candy corn sweet - so much that he ended up seeming regretful instead of patronising to Liv. He was there for the same reason.

Quell said it was because she was a good person - that she had so much guilt, that she felt responsible for it. And in a way she agreed with him. If Livia was a worse person she could’ve killed that boy and felt good for saving her own life.

But she wasn’t a good person. If she was a good person, she would be selfless. She would’ve let herself die instead of let the blood run down her hands.

Time wasn’t going to change anything. Livia knew that. ”Don’t give advice you can’t follow. And just because I've done it doesn't mean it has to rot in my heart forever.” She said bitterly. But wasn’t that exactly what Livia was doing? Well not exactly. She couldn’t give advice to anyone. And they all knew she was a hypocrite anyways.

Livia threw a stone into the water. It bounced back towards her. Livia wiped water from her eyes. She no longer knew if they were tears or river water.

Maybe she could wash her sins away. But that would mean living without regret. Living without feeling. Livia had long since learned that she could not feel true happiness without feeling true sadness.

ahh angst. the best kind of friendships start out hating each other >_<

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