Time After Time [July Entry]

it had only been a couple of months, but being dead, keeping track of time wasn't really easy, nor was it necessary. the underworld had enough shadows and corners for everyone who ever died to hide, sit, or wait for something, anything. They would wait for eternity  and free them from their eternal boredom and wandering even though nothing will ever happen. Unless you had done something entirely great or drastically wrong, there was nothing but waiting in the fields of Asphodel on your scheduled to do for your after life.

Bianca di Angelo was one of the many dead, spending her days in the beautiful gated community of Elysium or wandering the depressing Underworld, for even the lovely life inside the gates wasn't enough to keep one busy for eternity, let alone the minimal amount of time she had spent being dead. She didn't even mind the Fields of Punishment from time to time. She had learned a lot in the past months, or weeks was it? years? no, it definitely was months. Bianca had met her mother, if you could say that in some sorts. you could say she learned a lot, maybe everything, but she didn't see it as enough.

So her father was Hades. she didn't know what to think of that really, but she often made sure to steer clear of the palace. she would maybe sometimes wander over that way but he didn't talk much to him, not that he probably wanted to. The last time she even saw her father was probably the first time she saw him, when she first died. she didn't really think she needed to see her father anyways, it wasn't like they were going to be the best of friends, ever.

It was so odd in the Underworld and Bianca coped with it all. it wasn't hard. you just don't bother anyone and they don't bother you. The fields of Asphodel were depressing though. Bianca would often steer clear from those but you could never not be aware of the massive fields. The souls were lost, just in a different way Bianca seemed. they had nothing to think about because the didn't know anything. most of them were mortals, probably confused.

She thought about a lot of things. It was almost crazy how much she spent her time thinking or talking to her brother when she could. She was worried about him these days and she had prayed everyday--or every time she thought would have been a day--that Percy was getting her messages and keeping Nico safe and out of trouble with King Minos, that devil. It was her top priority.

was it possible for ghosts to have dreams? Because even being one she was unsure. maybe they were just visions...but she could have sworn she saw herself dying over and over again. and then sometimes she wold find herself walking through the streets of Manhatten, but it wasn't New York. If it was, it was in ruins and far beyond repair of most buildings. Then she would imagine standing in front of large black doors, engulfed in Greek flames. the things she would think about, or see, or dream, or whatever...they might as well have been driving her dead existance insane. She couldn't help but wonder if they involved her brother, Nico.

There were plenty of places she remained in her time where boredom grew too great and she needed to think or wonder. there was a lot of time to consider when you had no where to be, nothing to do, nothing that you were supposed to care about. but Bianca still cared about a lot of things and Nico was on the top of the long list. she hated caring for him and having to look after him all the time when she was alive. caring now seemed different, but she cared in different ways.

The River Lethe. It held such power, Bianca knew, to erase all memories down to not being able to even know who you are. the deceased daughter of Hades spent a lot of her time here. She had been thrown into this river once before why not jump in again? she did know it worked on the dead, all souls who chose the "EZ Death" line when entering the Underworld instead of accepting judgement went to River Lethe and drank before going to the fields of Asphodel. She sometimes fantasized what it would be like to not know, to not care at all because none of that would have ever existed.

Bianca sat at the edge of the river, every time she wandered this far away from the center of the Underworld. It was a routine almost. She'd kneel here and wonder for a while, and that's what that moment was for. wondering. Was she scared of the thought of not knowing? yes. but she was also intrigued. Was it better? Was it like an escape? It must have been, but it wasn't really something a hero who received Elysium should have thought. Bianca didn't believe she was that selfish.

She reached out her hand, far over the water and close enough where if she just relaxed she could forget it all and not worry about Nico wanting to bring her back. She could avoid that, in other ways as well...but she wasn't so sure she wanted that, yet anyway.

Before she really thought too deep into anything else, something happened. A wandering soul stood next to her and for a moment, she looked at them, and they seemed to look at her but she couldn't quite tell.

"Well, what are you looking at?" she sneered sarcastically, really amusing herself and not expecting an answer from the soul whatsoever. And she didn't get one.

Bianca di Angelo...

It was like a calling in the back of her head and she knew what from. It wasn't coming from the spirit before her, but it wasn't coming from anything around them. The calling came from somewhere else. And in a moment, it was like everything around her disappeared and before she knew it, she was somewhere else, with someone new. she couldn't help but be a little happy, though she knew what he was going to ask for. It was still comforting that maybe one person still wants her around, even if she really wasn't around.

"Nico..."