Remember Me [saph]

Taylor watched the sunrise with her arms folded across her chest. Not a lot of people were up given how early it was, but the lack of company didn't bother her the least bit. With a rueful sigh, she leaned against one of the pine trees atop the hill. The air cooled down with her melancholic mood. James' words from a few days ago kept echoing in her ears all day and night, haunting her like misguided ghosts, each dull sting reminding her of what she had missed, of what she was still missing. It pained her to think that the son of Ares had a valid point. Not to mention that she only had a few weeks left until the dreaded trip to the maze-of-no-return and her brain showed no sign of recovering anything. She sat down, her back still against the trunk, her fingers absently playing with a lock of her reddish hair. Some of the color had come off, the bleached auburn strands peeking out between red. She would have to dye it soon.

A growl and an annoyed 'shut up' jolted Taylor out of her thoughts. She couldn't see the speaker for the dragon blocked her view, and said dragon was now snarling under its breath as it curled up against the tree. She watched it throw a protective glance at the Golden Fleece before noticing her, its throat vibrating with another warning growl.

Taylor held her hands up in surrender, calmness lacing her voice as she spoke. "I'm not here to mess with you."

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"I... live here?" Taylor said unsurely, eyebrows rising at the guy who had spoken earlier. She would have responded in a more sarcastic tone if she hadn't seen the look on his face. There was something in there, something definitely more than shock, and she wouldn't doubt that he recognized her. It would probably feel better for her if she remembered him too, but all she could do was sit and stare. Perks of being an amnesiac.

Then he drew closer and did something she didn't expect - pulling her into a tight embrace.

What?

It wasn't even two seconds when Taylor pushed him away with more force than necessary, trying her best not to get annoyed by what seemed to be a sincere gesture. If it were any other girl, maybe the guy would have gotten slapped for even attempting such a thing. Instead she looked at him stonily, not quite impressed with the hug, her lips set in a tight line. She was a little irked, to be honest. Who could blame her, considering that she had been hugged so intimately by a boy she didn't know?

But Taylor had to remember that she obviously wasn't a stranger to him. But that didn't change the fact that he was a complete stranger to her. He was really handsome though, especially with those eyes, she had to give him that.

"This will sound weird but..." she trailed off, shifting uncomfortably on her feet. "Who are you?"

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Taylor looked at his outstretched hand for a few moments before cautiously clasping it with hers, giving it a quick shake before letting go. "Taylor, daughter of Khione," she said, but she couldn't help feeling that her introduction was unnecessary. He obviously knew her already, hadn't he just hugged her? But enough about that. There were more pressing problems to deal with.

"No, I'm not," Taylor said honestly, reaching up to rub the side of her head and messing her hair up in the process. 'Okay' was definitely not in the list of words she would use to describe what she was feeling. With everything going on, she supposed it was a miracle that she hadn't completely lost her mind by now. Putting those thoughts aside, Taylor squinted at the son of Demeter. Zach. Why did that name sound familiar? Was it possible that she was slowly starting to regain her memories? No, probably not, someone must have mentioned the name before and - oh.

"I don't suppose you know anyone named James?"

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The brief flash of anger crossing Zach's face disarmed Taylor. What? Had she done something wrong again? Growing sick of how she was naively clueless about her past life, Taylor exhaled sharply and let her hands fall limp down her sides. How unbelievably frustrating.

At Zach's question, her previous conversation with James replayed in her mind's eye and she gave the slightest wince. It didn't exactly go well and she wasn't about to open up about his outburst anytime soon. Hearing it for the first time was already bad enough. Those same words coming from her own lips... Taylor wouldn't be able to take it. Besides, she had only just met Zach. Again.

"He told me a bunch of stuff. It's complicated. And... 'Tarzan'?" The name sounded familiar and Taylor really tried hard to dig out the broken shards of seemingly nonexistent memories buried in the back of her mind. All she could think of, however, was a bunch of blurry cartoons. "Is that a TV show or something? I don't really remember some stuff..." Her voice was now tinged with annoyance, so much of it. She gave Zach a hopeless look. James did mention his name before; she was sure of it. Come to think of it, it was the only name he mentioned...

Then realization dawned on her, and Taylor blinked.

"Zach. You must be the Zach." she said slowly, as if speaking the words would make them easier to process. Shock was written all over her widened eyes. She stared blankly at him, one of her hands shooting up to cover her now gaping mouth. "You're... he... James told me I dated you?"

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Now Taylor was confused as hell. The pieces that fit together before had just fallen apart before her very eyes. She thought she had answers, or at least a few of them. She was only just realizing how everything she knew or learned about her past was to be questioned, because no one can really tell her the exact truth. No one can deny the lies.

"I thought we dated for a bit... that's what James said," Taylor said, remembering the time she ran into the son of Ares in the infirmary. So she and Zach were still... dating?

She fixed Zach with an expressionless look. The best chance? She was done with the chances. She thought she could trust James but she was wrong. What else had he lied about? And why would Zach be any different? Anyone could just feed her lies and she wouldn't know any better.

Her temper starting to get the better of her, Taylor took a deep breath to calm herself down. "I've been here for about a week now. I don't know what to believe, I don't know... anything! If we're still dating... it doesn't make any sense..."

And the question she wanted to ask lingered on her lips, and she was reluctant to let the words pass through. If we're really dating... what took you so long?

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Zach's words sounded distant to Taylor, as if they were in different worlds, because she found that she couldn't keep up with him. It wasn't because he was speaking too fast or anything. The meaning behind his words were the ones that stunned her, every thought mixing and jumbling together in her head that it took her a few more seconds to process everything, and even then she was still confused.

"My dad's dead?" was the first thing she said, her voice so soft it could've passed as a whisper. "But... that's... no one told me..."

It was strange, considering she had next to no memories about the man she could call her father. Only bits and pieces from groggy childhood days remained, not even enough to form a face... and he was dead.

But why should she believe Zach? Although he told her to trust him instead of James, how could she be sure that he would keep his word? How could she know which to believe in, which were lies and which were truth? She trusted before but that didn't work out. Things like that change people's views. They fill them with doubt. Questions. And unwillingness to trust again.

And he said he loved her. But why just now? What happened, why didn't he come looking? And there she was, believing she got ditched that some boyfriend she couldn't even remember... and here he was, pulling her into a hug and just like that, everything would be alright?

"This is overwhelming. I... seriously... this is too much," Taylor admitted, taking a step back and clutching her head with both hands. Why couldn't she just remember?

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Taylor didn't know what to do anymore. One of her hands was placed on her forehead, pushing her bangs back, while the other rested on her hip. Her eyes were set on the grass, finding it easier to look at. Grass was simply that - grass. It couldn't think, couldn't feel... Was Taylor actually considering being a blade of grass just to rid herself of all this confusion? The thought made her feel sick.

What Zach said further only fueled her curiosity more but with it came the familiar surge of anger. It wasn't directed to anyone in particular though. It was a feeling that often cropped up with her when dealing with these sorts of things, and a part of Taylor hoped that she could blame the gods or the Fates or whatever it was in Greek mythology that made these things happen but then, what good would it do to pin the blame on those who couldn't really care less?

She watched him warily as he offered her answers. The way his voice broke in some places didn't help her decide. Weren't those the only things she craved for these days - answers? But, all things considered, why did they only serve to confuse her more? Maybe it would be a wise choice to just forget everything about her past and move on with her life... but she couldn't stand not knowing things she was supposed to know. Something more complex was at work here. Taylor wanted answers, but she didn't want to trust.

She sighed, her tired eyes once again meeting Zach's. "Okay, I'll hear you out," she finally decided, but didn't make any move to sit down with him. She would remain standing, holding herself back from putting her faith. "Fire away."

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Taylor had her back against the tree trunk as Zach started storytelling, her blue eyes staring off into the distance. She found it quite hard to tune into the details. It was her ADHD's doing, she knew, that during times like these her mind just wanted nothing better than to pay attention to the distractions coming in different forms - a leaf peacefully riding the wind, Peleus' consistent low grumbling a few meters away, the nice twinkle in Zach's blue-green eyes as he spoke... but Taylor managed to get the gist of the stories nonetheless and when Zach finished, she remained silent with her eyes elsewhere, deep in thought.

It seemed unreal, very much so, to be presented with all of these and not even having a single drop of memory to associate it with. Everything was wiped clean, as if some deity up there found it funny to take her brain and wash it out so that even the smallest pieces of memories were cleaned off. Massaging her temple, Taylor tried to picture out the things that happened but they still felt off, as if she was just watching some chick's life story in a movie. It was hard to imagine herself in her place. Taylor had been right, after all, everything was just too darned much, too overwhelming to be taken at once.

"I see," Taylor said, effectively cutting the silence. "I... Thank you for telling me all this."

Thank you. That was all Taylor could offer. She would be lying if she told him she loved him, because no matter how true his stories were, it still felt like she had just met him. Taylor didn't know, and might never know for sure, if he really spoke the truth but she kept all doubts to herself. There was something in the boy's eyes that suggested hurt, perhaps heartbreak, and as selfish as Taylor could probably be, she could not give him more pain by telling him that she couldn't bring herself to fully believe him.

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It was getting too hard to look Zach in the eye. Taylor couldn't bear it after even the briefest glance. She didn't want to have to hurt him anymore, but pain seemed to be constant component to whoever stayed long enough in her presence. What had she done in the past to have merited this kind of punishment? It was bad enough that she had to suffer... why involve the others?

It was a few more seconds Taylor finally mustered up the strength to meet his eyes. They were filled with so many things. Sadness. Frustration. And she didn't have to squint to see the plea in those blue-green orbs. Not trusting her voice, Taylor gave him a small nod in reply.

It didn't quite feel like a lie if she didn't speak.

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Taylor heaved a resigned sigh. "Yeah, I've been staying there for about a week now," she said, too desolated to even inject the usual sarcastic note in her voice. There was a faraway look in her eyes as she avoided looking at him directly, her gaze instead fixed on a point behind him. Lying had left a bad taste on her tongue even if she didn't outright say the words out loud.

"I need to go," she announced suddenly, her eyes flickering to her wristwatch. She groped for words to say. How exactly does one say goodbye to a 'boyfriend' she doesn't even remember meeting or spending time with? It didn't exactly feel right to leave him like this, but what could she do? She didn't want to be forced into making any other lies she would regret and besides, some time alone would probably do her some good.

"It's been nice seeing you again, I guess... Thanks for the time and I'll... I'll see you around."

Offering Zach a half-hearted smile, she started the slow trek down Half Blood hill. Each step seemed to weigh heavier than the last and Taylor felt empty, awkward even. She couldn't believe that she actually felt worse than when she arrived. Irritated beyond disbelief, Taylor kicked one of the innocent pebbles in her way.

Dear whoever made me like this, thanks a lot.

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