My REAL character!

Name: Jayde Lynn
Age/Birthday:Dec 17th
Gender: Female
God Parent: Hephaestus
Claimed: Yes
Mortal Family: Alyssa and Ben Lynn
Years in Camp: 2
Brief History: Jayde has had two brothers but they have both died.
Her mortal parents divorced once but got back together. Jayde always doubted that her dad was the real one.  Jayde is a popular girl in school and has many friends. When Jayde ran away from home she discovered camp and was greeted by Chiron and taken in.
Physical Appearance: Jayde has brown  eyes and brown hair. She has a few freckles acoss her nose. Jayde is very skinny. She has natural highlights at the bottom of her hair. Jayde doesn't like to wear jewelry but she'll wear it on special occasions.
Personality: Jayde is a very funny girl which has earned her friends. She can also be very shy around new people. Jayde really defends other people especially when it comes to friends.  Jayde always tells the truth and is a very honest person.
Fatal Flaw: Loyalty
Pets: No pets
Talents: Jayde can build anything very useful within five minutes. For example:Jayde can build a weapon or flashlight etc.She can smell any metal fatigue or anything that has to do with metal and gears. Jayde only uses her powers for good and to help others. For weapons she can build daggers or knives.
Weapons: A dagger similar to Annabeth's. Her dagger is celestial bronze.
Year-Round or Summer: Jayde only stays during summers at camp.

I hope you approve of my character!

She's much better, but she still needs another sentence for her brief history and her personality.

And can you elaborate on her history a little bit? It's slightly confusing.

other than that she looks pretty good ;)
(I don't quite know about her powers, but the real character mods will probably be able to sort that out.)

Like what Bean said, please supply more sentences in her brief history and personality. Maybe include how she got to camp? She also needs a few flaws personality-wise.

Her fatal flaw is neither fatal nor a flaw. Please change it into something else.

The first power is quite vague. It can easily imply that she can build a car in just one minute and that's too much even for a Hephaestus kid. Please specify what you mean by 'anything useful'.

*I recommend you take a peek at one of the character mod character applications as an example

Did you notice my changes?

Ah, sorry. Next time, post in your topic that you've edited your character.

Again, the first power is vague. The issue is not the time she can use it - it's with the power's limitations. Like I said before, please specify what you mean by 'anything very useful'. Also add drawbacks to her ability to summon fire. Jayde is running the risk of being too overpowered and limits and disadvantages would help balance her out.

I edited my character.

alright hi so I've looked over your character and there are just a few more things that i find little problems with. sorry! Firstly, her power seems a little vague. I mean, would she be able to make a nuclear bomb in two minutes? You need to limit what she can and can't make in two minutes, and perhaps make it, say, five minutes instead of two because two seems a wee bit unrealistic?

Also, although this isn't really necessary, you could maybe make the whole app a little more detailed? Because I just feel like it's wearing a little thin when it comes to detail? If you could fix this then pop a new message and one of us will check your app out again. cool cool.

Thanks cerys!

I edited it.

You haven't edited your character since before Cerys posted.

Now I have.