Just sometimes

I'm smart, but i'm not top of my class
I have ambition, but I'm not striding
I have talent but i'm not gifted.
Honestly, I have always been good, but never once, have I been good enough.

That's my life. We have but we don't have enough. If things keep this way I'll be another 12 day shift nurse. Who works on the third floor and whose kids are just average and husband is just person I liked enough at some point.

I don't want that life. I want to beilieve that some day I go to collage and get masters. Get a great job doing something I like. Meet someone I can at least talk too at night, because they have crap in common with me. I don't want the perfect life, but I want a life worth living. I want to be in my thirties and when I go I home I can actually smile because it's home not a place with people who I have to be with and things I have to have and a life I have no choice but to be in.

I don't know how I can have this, but I want it more then I should. It's just, I have hope for a better future. I know it's possiable, but sometimes it feels like it isn't worth being here. It's hardly likely enough to even waste time over.

this is a little late but yOLO /shot 8000 times

you're going to get it, colby, I honestly believe you will. I don't know anyone who deserves it more than you do because you don't ask for much from anybody at all, so you sure as hell better get this. you're beautiful, funny, you have a great smile and a great laugh, and I honestly love your art, it's fabulous (AND YOUR DIGITAL ART IS REALLY SMOOTH!!!!!!! WITH A MOUSEPAD, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE????? I CAN'T GET OVER IT!!!!!!!)

if you compare yourself to other people and beat yourself up about how you're not the best, you're going to have a crappy time with everything you do. you are going to live an awesome life, I know it, you'll get a job that you love, find a guy who you'll love and who will love you back, you'll have things to smile about. you'll get whatever you want, I genuinely believe you will because you're amazing and hardworking and kind and just a fantastic person in general.