it's better to forget - colby

Ace slipped into the Nyx cabin, a folded sheet of paper in hand. Fortunately, it was empty. Fortunately, it was easy enough to find Colby's bunk and he quickly deposited the sheet on her pillowcase. Unfortunately, when he turned to leave, he hesitated. Slowly turned back. Sat on her bunk.

The memories came flooding back to him, quickly, painfully. He blinked and shook his head in an effort to chase them away. Blessedly, he was able to force them back and he could almost hear himself think in the stark silence of the dimly lit Nyx cabin. He must have sat there for five minutes before he slowly turned and looked at the drawer next to Colby's bunk.

Taking in a sharp breath, he sunk to his knees on the floor and then rummaged through the drawers until he found a picture. It had both him and her, it was candid, and they were both laughing. He looked at it for a moment before tucking it in his pocket. He sat back on her bunk quietly for five minutes, then ten - longer than he should have.

Abruptly, he stood up and swung the backpack up on his shoulder and left. He took the picture out of his pocket once he reached the edge of the small camp parking lot. He stared at it for a moment before carefully shredding it and throwing it in a trash bin. Then he got in his car, all the rest of his things already loaded, and started the engine. Then he was gone.

Colby,

I feel like I'm this rock. This rock that will never be anything more than a rock and doesn't do anything to be more than a rock. I'm a rock and I'm dragging you down, anchoring you to this one place when you could move on and be so much more.

What I'm saying is, I think it's time for me to go. I can't stay at camp, there's nothing for me here. I've stayed here for five years thinking there might be, but there isn't. I've waited all this time for something but I haven't found it here. I'm off to find a place where I belong.

I wouldn't trade a thousand lifetimes for the time I spent with you. Thank you for everything. I wish I could stay, I wish I could be with you.

In the words of Theodor Seuss Geisel, "Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry."
Although to be honest, it'd be better if you forgot about me either way. I know you'll find someone else who will make you happy. I think I love you, but I have to go - even though I love you. I don't deserve you. You don't deserve a rock.

I wish you every happiness.
Ace.

P.S. I know I'm being spineless by not saying this to your face.