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Crispy Bacon THE YODELMEISTER'S APPRENTICE
Posts : 1616 Join date : 2011-07-22 Age : 27 Location : 1800 got junk
| Subject: I don't know Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:51 am | |
| - Spoiler:
I just screwed up big time with my math exam and it's not even just me saying "oh yeah I failed" and then getting an 80 and being upset because I'm asian. I. Failed. And it's 30% of my final grade and I want to say it's not fair because by the end of the semester I had a 95 and I worked really hard throughout the semester to get that mark and keep that mark but I know that's not true because it is fair and I just screwed up that's all. I'm here right now because of my own decisions and I'm just so sick of myself sometimes because I know I should be doing things like studying but instead I slack off and play games on my phone for half an hour and I'm just so upset because my brain just blanked out when I got my math exam becaus eI forgot what to do. I forgot almost everything. I forgot one of the formulas which was really important because like half the questions had to use it and I just couldn't do it and I just wanted to cry halfway through the exam but I couldn't because I knew that I got there myself and then I started really hating myself. And then I'm worried about when my mom gets home because I'm really disappointed in myself too but she isn't even going to try to understandme she's just going to ban me from the computer or something ridiculous like that and I'm so sad because she pushes me to do things and I want to do them but when she has all these expectations of me and makes me feel like crap when I don't achieve them I just feel really sad. and mad. But I know all this is my fault and that just. I want to change, you know? I don't want to procrastinate for everything that I do because then all my projects are crap and that lowers my grades and I don't study but I should but then I get upset when I don't get the high marks that I want even though I don't deserve them because I don't earn them. I want to work hard, I do, but I just never do. I want to change but I can't seem to? I want to say that things are unfair but when I feel like crap it's because of the decisions taht I made and I can't blame that on something else- like the school system or the marking system or the teachers. It just makes me feel like crap sometimes because I want to do things but I just don't I don't know what's wrong with me. And this year has just been really hard for me because I've been really anxious and I don't know I've been using the internet a lot more during the year because it's an escape even though it wastes so much of my time. I've been biting my nails again too which kills me because I finally stopped a couple of years ago and now my progress is all gone and I want pretty nails because I enjoy painting them and doing nice designs but it's really hard to stop now and I'm just really upset because I can't do half the things that I want to do with my nails. I don't even want to paint them because when I look at them then I just see how short they are. I'm just mad because I want to blame things on my mother and her expectations but it's MY expectations that make me feel like the most crap although her expectations on top of mine just make me feel like I'm drowning. And I used to be a cry baby, I used to cry all the time when I was younger but I stopped a couple of years ago but now I just keep wanting to cry and I don't know. I know what I did wrong with math. I'm good at math. But I didn't do my homework when it was assigned and then I didn't study when the exam drew near and I'm just mad mostly at myself. And I just get really frustrated sometimes. It's like I really want more but I don't work for it and then I get mad because I don't have it and that's just not fair I know but I can't help but feel this way and I just wish I were better at things and I want to just give up on art because I feel like I'm never going to be good and there's just no point in practicing anymore and that just makes me more sad because I like art but everytime I try to draw now I just end up erasing it because it's not good enough and I have so many ideas and things I want to draw but I can't draw them and that just makes me feel like crap and I don't want something that I like to make me feel like crap so I should just give up. And god, I'm just so stressed out about school and everything else in my life. I just feel like things are going too fast and I'm running out of time and I just keep screwing up like I do with my math exam and I'm just so. I just feel like I'm not good at anything, like I have no talents and that just makes me really frustrated because everyone is supposed to be good at something that's only fair but I'm not and it's just. I don't know, I'm just sad and mad. I'm smad. I just wish there was something I could do right for once because I'm getting so sick of myself. AND THIS RANT IS JUST CHOCK-FULL OF SELF-PITY BUT IT'S A RANT OKAY AND LIKE YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO WHEN YOU STARTED READING OKAY. I know my problems aren't anything compared to other people but I feel sad too, I feel bad about it, but I do. I just feel like everything is so unsatisfying and god am I turning into a really ungrateful person. I guess I'm in my teen stage and I've always been a pretty angsty person so it makes sense that I would be kind of a self-loathing teen. And there are so many things I would like to fess up as well but I want to forget about them too because GOD, THEY WERE MY FAULT THEY WERE ALL MY FAULT AND I'M JUST UGH SMAD. I don't know, I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to really. I'm sorry to anyone who read this, it's kind of pathetic but I needed to vent somewhere. tldr; failed my math exam, got emotional :'D
Last edited by Crispy Bacon on Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:07 am; edited 1 time in total | |
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kenzie Buttface
Posts : 1813 Join date : 2011-12-01 Age : 26 Location : ontario
| Subject: Re: I don't know Tue Jan 29, 2013 2:10 pm | |
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Colby Elite Writer
Posts : 5714 Join date : 2010-06-26 Age : 28 Location : 42 degrees to your right
| Subject: Re: I don't know Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:04 pm | |
| Daw. Crispers. Math is just one.of those things that can just slip sometimes. I can understand how hard it is to get. I suck at it, it's frustrating and confusing and it's something that can just get trangled up in your head. Don't be to hard on yourself, it is disappointing and messing up happens. (i used to get distracted by apps, I deleted most of.the games.)
As for expectations. It's painful and the stress from it is just ugh. You can rant because we are here to listen. It's a problem, therefore it matters :)
Always here for you. | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I don't know Tue Jan 29, 2013 6:11 pm | |
| im not ashamed to say that ive cried during a math exam
and tests
and a quiz
and this like two point quiz thing idk it was bAD
BUT YEAH IM THE MASTER AT PROCRASINATING IT SUCKS DOESNT IT
IDK MAN U JUST GOTTA PUSH THROUGH IT | |
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Nico Chatbox Ruler
Posts : 5539 Join date : 2010-12-04 Age : 25 Location : your mom's house
| Subject: Re: I don't know Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:13 pm | |
| ARE YOU SRS DID YOU JUST SAY YOU DONT THINK YOU HAVE ANY TALENTS BECAUSE I CAN NAME LIKE TEN, YOU ARE GORGEOUS GO MODEL SOMEWHERE. not even kidding. YOUR DRAWINGS ARE DIFFERENT, BUT STILL FABULOUS. YOUR WRITING>>>> YOUR HUMOR IS A TALENT, IN MY OPINION. Math counts for a grade, but as long as you can just look it up on the Internet, math doesn't really matter. I procrastinate too, and I hate when it catches up with me, like I got a b on a states and capitals test because I don't even know where states are in my own country, and it lowered my grade. I failed a math test recently, I know, not an exam, but don't worry too much about it. I get bad grades in science all the time because I never study. Understand that you failed and use it as motivation to get off your phone and study, because I think you understand how horrible it feels. This is where you get stronger bby. /pets monica I don't really understand parent expectation, because my parents could care less about anything I do, but use that as motivation too. Your mom will be so happy with you if you bounce back. We don't have to have our topic if you want more motivation to go study. I love you crispy-biscy. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all procrastinate. It's human nature to just scrape by. That's what we do. | |
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Crispy Bacon THE YODELMEISTER'S APPRENTICE
Posts : 1616 Join date : 2011-07-22 Age : 27 Location : 1800 got junk
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Beanie If you can't have Scott McCall, why bother?
Posts : 2101 Join date : 2011-06-12 Age : 24 Location : eternally stuck in Hades
| Subject: Re: I don't know Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:10 pm | |
| CRISPY, YOU ARE AWESOME OKAY SO SHUT UP. (Aren't I just so nice?) It's just one grade. If you get a C or something, you can always make it up the next time. If you prove to your teacher and your mom that you can do better, then maybe your mom won't be so mad at you. And maybe you can make up the bad grade with something else. What ever happened to extra credit, or redoing the test. | |
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kenzie Buttface
Posts : 1813 Join date : 2011-12-01 Age : 26 Location : ontario
| Subject: Re: I don't know Wed Jan 30, 2013 2:26 pm | |
| beanie, it's highschool. You can't redo tests
but monica, I know you can do better and it was just one test. Trust me. I basically failed math this year lol | |
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Beanie If you can't have Scott McCall, why bother?
Posts : 2101 Join date : 2011-06-12 Age : 24 Location : eternally stuck in Hades
| Subject: Re: I don't know Wed Jan 30, 2013 2:35 pm | |
| oh. Forgive me, I've never been to high school. Is there such a thing as extra credit in high school? | |
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Zan Mega Asshole Duo
Posts : 10035 Join date : 2010-05-04 Age : 27 Location : butthole PA
| Subject: Re: I don't know Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:14 pm | |
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Crispy Bacon THE YODELMEISTER'S APPRENTICE
Posts : 1616 Join date : 2011-07-22 Age : 27 Location : 1800 got junk
| Subject: Re: I don't know Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:04 pm | |
| HAHAAAAA TOO BAD IT'S THE END OF SEMESTER EXAM I JUST FAILED~~~ /dies
but thanks anyway bean xD
I FEEL BETTER NOW GUYS THANK YOU I RUV YOU | |
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Nico Chatbox Ruler
Posts : 5539 Join date : 2010-12-04 Age : 25 Location : your mom's house
| Subject: Re: I don't know Wed Jan 30, 2013 6:09 pm | |
| ZOFU>>>>>everything basically | |
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panoramic Head Satyress
Posts : 336 Join date : 2012-08-17 Age : 26 Location : hittin it with ma dude in paris <3
| Subject: Re: I don't know Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:31 am | |
| Oh Monica, It's just one exam! I mean, take it from Albert Einstein, that guy pretty much flunked but now he's the reason why E=MC2 exists in life and it's pretty much awesome. AND you are pretty much awesome! Don't let this one thing get through your head like that. We are all human beings. We are stupid and dumb and make mistakes all the time, and we sure as hell procrastinate when we don't want to do something. Take it from me, who holds boring projects back and gets 60-something% as a final mark for her math. Actually, you probably shouldn't because I suck at math and taking advice from me will only devastate the fate of your future. Hahahahha, but seriously. You're totes great and totes smart, I know you can endure this kind of stuff. | |
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Beanie If you can't have Scott McCall, why bother?
Posts : 2101 Join date : 2011-06-12 Age : 24 Location : eternally stuck in Hades
| Subject: Re: I don't know Thu Jan 31, 2013 5:01 pm | |
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