it's hard enough as it is [private]

No. No. It couldn't be.

It had been three days and Taylor was still in shock. Slumped against one of the iced couches, she still couldn't stop staring at the device in her hand, as if looking at it enough would cause it to suddenly change color. Well, she handled it better today. Her hands no longer trembled, at least. However, it'd take a while for her skin to return to its normal color. She was as pale as a ghost, a fact that some of her siblings had oh-so-kindly pointed out.

She hadn't seen Zach for the past three days. She had told her siblings to say that she was sick if he were to ask, and she had no idea if the message ever reached him. How she wished that she was just sick. That would have been easier.

The cabin was bare at the time, offering Taylor a bit of relief. It was hard trying to isolate herself from people, especially when she absolutely refused to leave the confines of Cabin 16 for the whole three days. Her half-sister Buffy had agreed to bring her food, but Taylor had not repaid the favor by confiding in her what caused her sudden desire for solitude. Taylor had no intention of sharing it to anyone, especially not when she had a hard time believing it herself.

Biting her lip, Taylor turned the device over in her hands in an effort to find a loophole, but it remained a bright shade of pink. She cussed, tossing it to the table in front of her and burying her face in her hands. Crap, she was in deep trouble. How was she supposed to solve this problem? Funny how it took something of this magnitude for reality to give her a harsh slap to the face. Taylor Brooks. Fatherless demigod. Out of school. Not even of legal age. Pregnant. She gagged as soon as she thought of the word, feeling sick of herself and her stupidity.

How was she going to tell Zach? Groaning, Taylor leaned back on the couch, face still in her hands. Zach had a life. She could still remember the look on his face that night about two weeks ago just when they realized the possibility. He didn't want this. Heck, even she didn't want this. Taylor didn't want to ruin his life, or her own as well. That of course left her with one option. Disgusted at herself for having to consider that way out, Taylor was convinced that there was no other choice. She had to get rid of it. It, because she couldn't connect this to the word baby. But what about Zach? No, she didn't need to burden him with this. She could go alone, and Zach will never know. In fact, she would go now. Okay, good idea, she thought as she forced herself up.

Taylor froze when the door opened, her eyes growing wide at the visitor. Well, what do you know! Her eyes flickered upward for the briefest second before she shifted her gaze back to Zach. Someone up there must really hate her or something. Nevertheless, Taylor allowed a small smile to form on her lips at the sight of him entering the cabin. She appreciated his sudden visit, but she felt awkward at the same time. Now was definitely not the right moment.

"Hey!" she said, trying to sound cheerful. Wait... sick? Oh! She was supposed to be sick! After faking a coughing fit, Taylor looked sheepishly at the son of Demeter. "Yeah... you sure you should be here? My cold is contagious." She sniffled for emphasis, even making a point of rubbing her nose for effect. She felt miserable doing this, lying to Zach, but she didn't think she had any other choice.

Taylor shifted uncomfortably on her stance and let one of her feet kick and slide across the floor. Whether the action was due to her ADHD or increasing nervousness, she neither knew nor cared. She opened her mouth but closed it without saying anything. As if she actually knew what to say. Should she make Zach leave? Her heart beat faster in protest. She didn't want him to go, but if he stayed here, then it'd be only a matter of time before he learned about the real reason for her sudden inactivity. But still...

Then, acting on impulse, Taylor sprinted across the living room to engulf the boy in a tight embrace. She didn't know what made her do it, but she had a bad feeling in her gut. Perhaps she hoped that the hug might make that hunch go away but the feeling only worsened, for some unexplainable reason. It was as if she was trying to hold on to someone who was about to drift far away. As if she was clinging to a lifeline, her lifeline, to avoid losing grip on her sanity.

It didn't occur to Taylor she left the pregnancy test stick on the table in clear view for Zach to see.

"I'm fine," Taylor insisted, but something in her voice just screamed 'lie'. I'm fine, she repeated to herself as she plopped down on the couch. She couldn't bring herself to believe it. That statement had to be the most overused lie of the century. Fine meant good. It meant okay. At the thought, Taylor almost wanted to get the nearest breakable thing and hurl it at one of the ice pillars. This... This was anything but fine.

"It's just a cold, nothing seri - " That was when the girl cut off, eyes growing wide. "Give me that!" In a swift motion, she yanked the device out of Zach's trembling hands and gripped it so hard that the whites of her knuckles were showing. He saw. He saw. How could she have been so stupid to leave it on the table! She should've just chucked it into the bin the first chance she got! Taylor closed her eyes, breathing deeply through her nose with her hand still clenched around the offensive object. Her next words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could think. "No, you got it wrong. It's my sister's. One of my half-sisters left it lying around and - " And for the second time, she stopped in mid-sentence when she looked up at the white-faced son of Demeter.

It was useless. Taylor had to stop. Lying wouldn't do her any good now. "Yeah, positive," she said quietly, averting her gaze from Zach to stare off into space at another direction. The words burned her throat dry and she didn't think she could continue, but for some reason, she found herself talking once more. "I know it sucks. We're in the middle of a war and this happens. It's stupid. I can't even get my head around the whole thing and it's been days since I found out." She swallowed thickly, closing her eyes once more. Opening them a few seconds later, Taylor turned to look at him, her face as white as a sheet. "I... I couldn't tell you." I didn't want to.