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 orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).

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Orel



Posts : 491
Join date : 2012-03-21
Age : 21
Location : awaiting the long winter

PostSubject: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:47 pm

Name: Alex Carter

Age: 16

God parent :*~ Athena~* (claimed)

Mortal parent : none (orphanage)

Sex: male

Brief history:On a stormy night in the middle of february the matorn of st Agustine orphanage found young alex in a little gray basket at the front door of her orphanage and took him in. As a young boy alex grew up among different kinds of people but he kept mainly to himself when he was not in the orphanage he will be at the country side.
At the age of 7 alex found a crippled baby falcon on taking it back to the orphanage he was rebuked and told that he would have to take care of the bird out of his own rations, around the same time he started having nightmares but he kept it all to himself when he grew older alex was allowed to go on minor errands for the orphanage. Then on a particular day when he was asked to go to a grocery two blocks away to buy some sugar on his way back to the orphanage he heard a reptilian sound behind him he tried to ignore it because this was not the first time he had heard or seen something strange (one time in particular he tried calling the police but when they came around and saw nothing they called him a liar) he continued walking this time a little faster but the sound kept getting closer on looking back he saw a woman (at least from the waist up but from the waist down she was a serpent ) on seeing this he threw away the sugar and started running for all he was worth while he was running he slammed into something hard looking up he saw that he had just run into a teenage boy in full greek battle amour if it were not for the the life and death situation he was in he would have burst out laughing instead he just kept looking up like a dazed idiot if it were not for the hero who pulled him away at the last moment and slashed at the monster disappeared in a shower of dust the hero pulled alex up and introduced himself as joe and next to him stood a half man half goat after their introductions the satyr told him about being a half blood at first alex stared at him unbeliveably and muttered something about mad people, the satyr told him the reason the monsters had not disturbed him much was because the smell of different smelly children had covered for him he also to him that he i.e the satyr had been watching him for a while to cut the story short they finnaly persuaded him to come with them to camp half blood which he stays as a year round camper(and yeah they went back to get his falcon before departing )he came to camp at the age of 12 .

Physical appearance : alex is well built for his age he has gray eyes. He has a handsome face and jet black hair which drops to shoulder lenghth. He is of medium height. He has a slightly tanned skin, he has a low deep voice. His hands are rough due to continuous hunting and he usually prefers wearing a t -shirt and jeans trouser when he is not in his orange camp half blood shirt he also wears a black wrist watch.

Pets : a falcon(fang)

Wepons : alex was always good at stick twirling so the zerom that came naturaly to him was a double pointed spear (celestial bronze)named sadna and a bronze shield

Hobbies : climbing trees and hunting so you almost surely find him in the woods if he is not in the cabin or training arena.

Personality: alex is a friendly person but he prefers being on his own. He also likes to stay out of fights but will eagerly stop one if he sees it. He likes arguing but usually with good points. Even tho alex likes keeping to himself once you can get him talking he tends to run his mouth to much. He also likes listening to music (hip hop in particular). He generally likes being outdoors. His favourite topics of discussion are: cars,music and any other thing that deals with mythology and his favourite colours are blue,black and orange. And he generally has that i don't give a s**t look around him.

Fatal falw: His flaws are He dose not know when to stop talking. He also tends to get angry easily. And he is generally over possessive of his things[center]


Last edited by Orel on Sat Jan 04, 2014 12:27 pm; edited 18 times in total
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pinkgirl
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:38 pm

You need to have 4 COMPLETE sentences for the physical appearance. You also have to write 4 sentences for the personality.
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Orel



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Join date : 2012-03-21
Age : 21
Location : awaiting the long winter

PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:40 am

how's that
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Balisugar
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:50 am

You have to have correct punctuation and grammar. Right now your sentences are actually only one continuous sentence.
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Orel



Posts : 491
Join date : 2012-03-21
Age : 21
Location : awaiting the long winter

PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:19 am

is it fixed
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Balisugar
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:22 am

Your physical appearance and personality sections are still not four sentences. You have to punctuate them as well.
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sapphire
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:27 am

You might want to use periods to separate your sentences.
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Crispy Bacon
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:59 pm

Looks good! Alex Carter is Accepted.
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Orel



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Age : 21
Location : awaiting the long winter

PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:03 pm

Name: Stefan Hunt

Age: 16

Birthdate: may 8

Years in camp: 4

God parent: Apollo

Mortal family:
Step-father: John Hunt
Mother: Victoria Hunt
Step sister: Shelly Hunt

Brief History:
Stefan was given birth to in London but when he was 3 his family moved to Orlando where he attended different school's till he was 13.
While at school stefan noticed that he excelled at sports and did fairly well in poetry and first aid but since he was really good at sport's he never gave his other deficiencies much thought.
On the last day of this particular school year a boy whom stefan had seen glancing at him during the school year sat beside him he introduced himself as mark and he told him the camp halfblood story... After listening to Mark Stefan shook his head in disbelief he then stood up and left the hall muttering about day dreamers in school.
After school that day Stefan felt stupid to do so but he confronted his mom who reluctantly confirmed mark's story, later that day Stefan met with mark on the school compound they had agreed to meet here if Stefan decided to come to camp, when he got there he say two other older kids who introduced themselves as Jane and Matt they would be taking Matt's car to the camp.


Physical appearance: Stefan is between 5 '7 to 5 '8 he is naturally built like a boxer. He has dirty blonde hair which never stays down. His eyes are dark blue with hints of green. He always has a self satisfied and mischievous look on him.

Personality: He enjoys making friends. He also has an air of cheerfulness around him. He also likes showing off his skills at sport's.
He tries to give a helping hand when he can.


Fatal flaw(s): He has a very big ego which makes him prefer doing things his own way and this could be very dangerous in a team quest, he also has a very big mouth his favourite saying is "i don't think i know". He is also a bad sportsman.

Pets: a doberman.

Hobbies: winning at archery contest's, taking strolls around the camp grounds in the early evening and practicaly just lazying around, he also likes listening to or playing music (but not loud music)

Wepon: a magical bow in which a celestial bronze arrow appears whenever he touches the string.

Camper Status: year round camper

Other: sorry for the earlier post that was a mistake thanks.


Last edited by Orel on Tue Dec 25, 2012 12:13 pm; edited 8 times in total
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cerys
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:45 pm

Um....I may be being dumb but...isn't this a Percy Jackson roleplaying site?
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maddie ☹
Grammar Police


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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:11 pm


Great character! Though he is very well written, I'd like to point out some things that you may want to change to help you get accepted.
First, while it's a minor change, could you possibly be more specific with his height? It's not that big od a deal, but there is a difference with being 5'7" and 6'1"!
Another thing is, despite his fatal flaw, Stefan has no flaws. I suggest adding a bit more detail with his personality, if you can. Doing this usually helps me spark up flaws my character has. Now, they don't have to be huge, like enjoys to kill or whatever, but something simple. For example, he's a bit too cheery and never thinks of the consequences of something. Other than that, he looks pretty good in the personality section, though I do think you could elaborate on him having a huge ego, and how that would affect him.
Last, this isn't really a critique, more of the fact that I think his weapon is cool beans.
Anyways, I hope you consider these suggestions!


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Crispy Bacon
THE YODELMEISTER'S APPRENTICE


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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:15 pm

Thanks for listening to Johanna's suggestions! Stefan Hunt is Accepted.
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Orel



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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Fri May 04, 2012 9:49 am

Name: Riley Harris.

Age: 16.

Birthdate: April 18.

God father: Hermes.

Mortal family: Mother: Mandy Harris

Years in camp:1

Camper status: Summer camper

Brief History: Riley Harris grew up in brooklyn New York he lived with his African American mother who worked part time at a local grocery store. He attended a local public school at school he was not exactly good at anything and the only things he found interesting about school was sneaking out to skateboard and going on field trips, he generally loves moving from one place to another on the road, sneaking up on people and making practical jokes.

Personality: He is a very sweet talker in nature. He enjoys making new friends. He also likes practical jokes and being mischievous. And when he can also be very quiet when he wants to be.

Physical Appearance: He is of slender build with a tanned skin. He has a dark iris which under dark light makes him look like he has a very large pupil. He has long dark curly hair and he has an i dare you handsome type of face. He also always has a smirk across his face.

Fatal Flaw: He seriously dose not know when to shut up and be serious with things (he is too care free)

Pets: A monkey he named duke

Thats all.


Last edited by lord betnon on Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:09 pm; edited 5 times in total
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➴ Katniss Everdeen
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat May 05, 2012 11:12 am

Sorry, but for your Physical and Personality, you only have one sentance, and it needs to be at least four for each. Other than that I LOVE him ^^ I hope when you fix him, and get him accepted, we can RP some time!
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Orel



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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat May 05, 2012 3:43 pm

sure will love to rp with you
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➴ Katniss Everdeen
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat May 05, 2012 3:46 pm

Just PM me when he's accepted!
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Kat
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Sat May 05, 2012 10:57 pm

Accepted!
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Orel



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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Fri Jun 22, 2012 12:06 pm

Name: Nathan Salvatore
Age: 16
Birthdate: Sept 4
Country of origin: Italy(Sicily
God Mother: Hecate
Father: Jon Salvatore
Step-mother: Mariam Salvatore
Step-Sister:
Emillia Salvatore{12}
Step-Brother:
Vito Salvatore{10}
Brief History
Nathan was given birth to on the fourth of september 1995, he grew up in sicily where he attended a local school when he was 4 his father got married to a woman called mariam who later had two other children for his father.(see above)

At school Nathan had a rough time some of the other children taunted him about his father marrying another woman a particular boy went as far as to call her a slut who just dumped him at his fathers doorstep.(he got a major sickness the next day) His school work was not exactly a good one the subjects he seemed to have an interest in was latin and a little of history but the others were just a mumble of words, he generally attributed his deficiencies to his general dislike for school.

At home it was quite a different story his step-mom tho sometimes behaved a little differently to him was a kind enough woman who was always ready to listen to him and his siblings always looked up to him like a big brother. He also found out that whenever his emotios were out of control strange things happened like stuff levitating and cathing flames.


Personality: His experience with age grades earlier in his life has made him a shy person who prefers to just be on his own but he is always ready to talk to anyone. At camp he can mostly be found in the library reading about magic or along the beach. He also likes reading novels and playing board games his favourite being monopoly. He is also kind of short tempered.

Physical Appearance: He is 5.4 feet tall. He has light green eyes with black hair of medium length which he ties back in a little ponytail. He is of medium build. He can always be seen with a chain crucifix across his neck.(a parting gift from his little sis)

Years in camp: 3

Weapon: A celestial bronze sword, he also carries a small spell book around.

Fatal Flaw: He has a short temper.

Other:His english is not exactly fluent
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Orel



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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:38 pm

almost forgot the flaw part
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:24 pm



-------Nathan Salvatore is,

accepted!


Your character was lovely.----------
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PostSubject: Re: orel's characters (new character needs acceptance).   Today at 10:26 am

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