Okay so hi hi hi. This is my second rant and blah blah blah. So let's get started:
I guess I would say all of this started in Kindergarden and continues today. I'm in 8th grade right now. I have been bullied for eight years staright, every year just getting worse. I lost two best friends. Two. The first one moved away and the second one ignores me. My second best friend ignored me after I told him I cut myself. He said he would never talk to me again as long as I lived. I told him some colorful words. I tried to make better friends at my school, but they ignored me. I can tell they don't want me as my friend by their actions. At this point, I realized that no matter how close I got to someone, they will eventually leave me even though I gave them everything. I lost in my school cunciul elcetion as President. A guy came up to me and asked, "How does it feel to be a loser?" I had to walk before before I punched him in the face. I have no friends at school. Almost everyone talks about me. I hve been called every name you could possible think of. I have been called ugly, stupid, talentless, and a lot of other bad words. After being called ugly for such a long time, I began to believe an stayed indoors for a long time. Whenever I went outside, I felt like everyone was staring at me, thinking, "Wow, that girl is really ugly." Also, since I'm skinny, I'm a size 1/2 in jeans. I used to be 0, but i really don't care about my weight. I joked with this one girl, saying how I gained sooo much weight. She gave me the blankest stare ever and said, "I'm a 00."
Alos, I was trying to talk to this really nice girl who was giving some guy his notebook. I said something and he said, "Shut the f*** up you little ho*r." I was shocked and just stood there. My grades are okay. Since I'm in advanced math, I have to take the regents andd score a 90% to move up to the next math level when I go to high school. A 90%. And, I have to take the high school's placement test and score a 90% on that.
I feel so alno nowadays. I feel like I can't do anything. I stopped cutting, but I so badly want to cut again. I have tried to kill myself 4 times, wating for someone to tell me they care or to stop what I'm doing. I'm afraid to trust someone, knowing that they will go away.