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 Lost For Words (Rough Rough Rough Rough Draft xD)

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Kat
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PostSubject: Lost For Words (Rough Rough Rough Rough Draft xD)   Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:30 pm

So I was really really bored and I just started writing a story out of no where. It's a really really new rough draft. I'm editing it as we speak! Buy I just want some feedback. I wanna know how it sounds. (: thanks guys! It's appreciated!!


-Lost For Words-

There are five senses that the human body obtains. To see. To hear. To smell. To taste. To feel. All very important. To see the familiar smile. To hear the words spoken to you. To smell the perfect sent that you have grown to recognize. To taste his lips on yours. To feel his strong arms wrap around you with care and love. 

The things I dream about. It's almost pathetic.

I haven't had a boyfriend since third grade when Richard Winston asked me if I wanted to go to to his big brother's baseball game. He bought me an Air Head at the snack shack, and he kissed my cheek behind the bleachers and that was the end of that. Apparently he had met, and I quote, "Other, more pretty women," and as in "pretty other women," he meant Marcia Margaret, the tall-flawless-blond-haired-blue-eyed-America's-next-top-model-who-loves-to-make-my-life-a-living-hell girl in my grade. It only took me two more years to figure that out about her. I'm sure everyone has at least one of these Barbie dolls in their school.

So it had been eight years since I actually went out with a guy that wasn't just a friend. I'm in eleventh grade, and I'm a dreamer. I read love stories like Roy Preston smokes weed. I spend most of my silly excuse for a life in my bedroom locked away with a good book. Unless I'm studying or with my very fee friends.

I have two friends and we run the evert ignored newspaper for our high school. North Ashton High School is located in a small town called Lameston or so it has been nicknamed. The town I live in is actually called Jameston. It's right on the border of Minnesota on the north side. Let's just say I can see the American-Canadian border from my bedroom window.

Kami Robinson is my best friend, and the only female one I had. She was the one I could tell all of my secrets to without being worried they would leak out to anyone at school. Kani was that free willed, super imaginative and artsy girl who always wore the paint splattered pants and often had a pencil stuck behind her ear. She was the girl who would stand up for anything she believed in and fight for her way. Her African American heritage proved that she had connections with fighters. No use in trying to win an argument with her. The only reason she isn't on the debate team is because we don't have one. "I wouldn't want to be on it anyway," she would say. Darryl and I knew her well enough to know she was lying through her teeth.

Darryl Sinclairvo is the editor and chief for the school newspaper, Only at Aston. I had been bugging him for two years now to change the name of the paper. He thinks we should keep it and I totally despise him for it. The name is totally lame. And that word literally describes Darryl. He actually enjoys being called lame which is good because we're called it a lot. Darryl is probably one of the best looking guys in the entire school, also a year older then Kami and I. He's a senior. What makes girls look away from him is his nerdy personality, his large black glasses and his long dirty blond messy hair the hangs over his eyes. He always has bags under his eyes because of how late he stays up to work for the newspaper or doing homework, or playing Tech Quest, and online interactive game that Kami and I make fun of him for playing all the time. Again, Darryl isn't one to take things to heart. He likes who he is and laughs right on with us. He's care free Darryl.

I wake up to Kami's ringtone blowing up on my phone. My dreams of romance and fantasy were interrupted and shattered as My eyes fluttered open. My vibrating and  loud obnoxious light blue phone was driving me crazy. When the call went to voice mail, the ring went silent for a second and then started up again. I groaned and reached over to answer the phone. I didn't even get a chance to say hello.

"Samantha Dolton!" Kami's voice sounded urgent. I sat up quickly. "You've got fifteen minutes!"

I turned to my alarm clock that I had forgotten to we for the first day of school. It read 7:14. I cursed and scrambled out of bed. Last day of summer was yesterday and everyone who was anybody was at Marcia's party. So that practically meant that Kami, Darryl and I were stuck at Kami's house playing her mom's 80's music and playing black jack. Almost everyone will be late today for school. I wouldn't doubt that Kami and Darryl just woke up too.

Summer had flown by too quickly for my friends as I. We spent the Summer down at Kami's family's Florida home. Darryl bunking with Matthew, Kami's twelve year old brother and Kami and I sharing a twin sized bed. For two teenage girls who need a lot of space to spread out in hot weather, a twin was really small. The warm weather was a cool exchange for the cold Minnesota weather. Course, we have no one to brag about it to because we're the only ones who will listen to each other. It wasn't a step up from where other people go for summer break though.

I would have given up anything to not go to school that day, and it probably would have saved me a whole lot of trouble, but I had no choice. Jumping out of bed, I pulled on a random pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I ran into my bathroom washed my face. I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein with my brown hair sticking up in all places. The light brown strands were tangled to extended lengths. Stubbornly, I ran a brush through my hair, walking back into my room grabbing my school bag and heading down stairs. I threw my brush on my bed before I left the room.

"Sammy," my father said sleepily as a rushed passed him to the kitchen.

"Hi Dad!" I called. "Bye Dad!" I checked my phone. 7:21. Darryl will be here in--a horn beeped from outside. I grabbed a granola bar and darted out the door.

I jumped the last few steps of my porch and onto the dew covered lawn. Kami was already in the front seat of the old blue car, her dark brown hair was down and lightly curled at the bottom. She was smiling and motioning for me to move faster. I took my quickened time to the car. Darryl beeped the horn of the car again.

"Why are you guys do excited to get to school?" I asked opening the door and getting into the car. I had to try and close my door three time it shut. All the doors on Darryl's car were like that: bent in just the right place so it takes an extra slam to get them closed. Kami's music was already playing in the speakers. A mix between classic rock, pop and country. They're songs you've never heard of, trust me.

"Because," Kami said from the front seat. She swiped on a quick cost of lipgloss. "There is a new guy in our class this year!"

"It's my senior year," Darryl said as if he didn't hear Kami. "Want to make the best of it you know."

I ignored Darryl and his attempt to change the subject. "Not that impressive, Kam," I said. "We get new guys every year."

"But still!" Kami said turning in her seat. I just saw this as another guy that will just ignore us. It wasn't that big a deal. I knew Darryl wasn't excited because he was the only guy that did notice us and as in us, I mean Kami. He's had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. This was the same routine every year. A new hot guy moves to town, Kami spruces herself up for him, Darryl get's jealous and him and I wait for her to get rejected to let her lean on our shoulders. Then she get's over it and tries to find another victim while Darryl sits by and plays the unnoticed jealous kid. I feel for him. At least Kami's got a little bit of hope. I gave up after eighth grade.

I was jealous of Darryl. This was his last year in high school. He already has a few choice colleges picked out. I know he was really aiming for New York University. Darryl has always loved the city.  It was killing Kami and I that he'd be so far away for a whole year. Even if he didn't get into NYU, he wasn't heading for colleges close to town. No one was. People in Jameston rarely ever stayed, unless you were too stupid to leave.

I was headed some place warm. Over the summer while down in Florida we visited the University of Florida's campus. It was a college I instantly fell in love with. My application was already filled out. My dad wasn't too happy with me wanting to go somewhere far away, but he didn't understand how much I hated this town.

My mind was filled with thoughts of the new boy, none the less. What was he going to be like? Was he going to be a jock or would he be joining the chess club? Was he hot like Kami suspected, or was he going to be butt ugly and turn into one of the people who get the slightest bit more attention then the three of us?

My thoughts wandered farther and my fantasies departed off from the world and deep into my mind. Before I even knew it, a story was placed into my mind. A forbidden love story with a boy and a girl from two different sides of the world, falling in love, then being separated and forced to marry others whom they do not love. Th classic tale of Romeo and Juliet with a spin by Sam Dolton.

We pulled into the school parking lot with a sudden jerk of the car. I hit my head on the window hard and Kami laughed at me. I had to force a slight smile. The biggest red pick up truck I'd ever seen pulling in behind us. Not a car you see every day at Ashton.

"Easy on the turns there, Darryl." I said rubbing my head. Darryl shrugged, showing no expression and found a parking spot quickly. The red truck pulled into the spot next us. No one got out of the car, but people all over the campus were looking at the it, which meant they were kind of looking out our car, which also meant that Kami had a mini heart attack, I would be taking the longest route possible to the door so I wouldn't be stared at too much for my poor choice of first day of school clothes and Darryl will be walking straight through people, Kami looking her best beside him.

Unnoticed. That's what I like to be.

Kami and Darryl got out of the car. I didn't. This was basically the same routine each day. They get out, I wait until the first bell rings.

Kami did what she did best all the way to the doors with Darryl lugging behind her. I now had a good look at what Kami was wearing. Sparkles is a word I describe Kami as. It's not an adjective but it defines her. From head to toe she was covered in them. Her hair and makeup was dotted with shining glitter, her shirt was a flowing and noisy sparkling mop. It looked great on her. She wore her favorite dark  washed skinny jeans with her favorite black heeled boots. Kami made me smile everyday. No one else could do what Kami did and pull it off. Students all over took their stares away from the truck for a second to take a glance at Kami. They snickered to one another lightly then continued on their way into the school.

I waited another moment for everyone to go inside. I saw Marcia Margaret in her six inch high stilettos standing right by the door. She looked straight at me and pointed to the truck beside me. She mouthed one word. Mine.

I pursed my lips and got out of the car. I didn't care what Marcia said to me or didn't say to me about guys.

The truth about Marcia and me is that we used to be best friends. In fifth grade something happened to her. She changed, became the disastrous [censored] she is and left me to rot with all the other un-populars. I'm glad that Marcia left me. Kami and Darryl were the best things that ever happened to me.

I got out of the car, opening my door with such force and anger, it hit the car next to me. The big red truck. Not only was it just the car it was door that had opened at the same time mine did. The truck's door hit the guys head. So much for heading in unnoticed.

[censored] the guy muttered with a few other curse words. He held his head where the door had hit. I bit my lip. There goes my year. Right down the toilet it went when I hit the new kid with Darryl's car door.

This guy towered over me even when I was sitting down still in Darryl's car I could tell he was much taller. He had dark hair, hanging over his eyes. It curled at the tips lightly. His eyes were a bright blue. They glistened in the early morning sun. He had on a plain red t-shirt and jeans with ratty old black converse. I understood why Marcia wanted him. He was totally gorgeous. And terribly out of my league. I mapped out my escape route in my head, but I panicked first.

"Oh, my god," I said, slowly stepping out of the car, grabbing my back pack. "I am so sorry. I did not mean to do that."

"Don't worry about it." he mumbled grabbing his bag from his car. While he was talking I was trying to get Darryl's stupid car door to shut. It wasn't working. "I thought you got out of the car with your friends."

"I'll give you the money to fix-"

"Like I said," he smiled lightly and shut his door. "Don't worry about it."

He walked away and the first bell rang. I slammed Darryl's door shut, having to attempt it twice then walked into the school. Hopefully I wasn't too late.
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anna.
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PostSubject: Re: Lost For Words (Rough Rough Rough Rough Draft xD)   Sat Dec 17, 2011 8:47 am

my tip:

continue the story the way you started it. you know how u sounded all deep with the senses. make the story deep. that's all i hav to say
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riess



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PostSubject: Re: Lost For Words (Rough Rough Rough Rough Draft xD)   Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:19 pm

Sound of the sirens
mouth of a siren
uhh............ never mind
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PostSubject: Re: Lost For Words (Rough Rough Rough Rough Draft xD)   Today at 9:57 am

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Lost For Words (Rough Rough Rough Rough Draft xD)
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