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 It's so horrible, gah! I need some help.

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Golden Oldie

Posts : 4998
Join date : 2010-03-30
Age : 23
Location : Standing in a shower of narcissism.

PostSubject: It's so horrible, gah! I need some help.   Wed May 11, 2011 6:43 pm

Okay, so I have a question... I want to know if I should continue to write this, or just decide that it's a fruitless effort. Basically, it's a story of two brothers who are traveling in Europe. They are searching for a cure of a soon-to-be pandemic, and they soon learn that they are getting involved in something much bigger then a disease. Advice, questions, suggestions, etc. are appreciated.


Carter Knox was tired of being ignored. It infuriated him to the verge of tears. Well, that was obviously ridiculous. Carter didn’t cry. He simply didn’t. However, before you ask about the long and dark childhood that made him an expressionless rock, you must know one thing. He didn’t have one. It was the fact that he had never been recognized. Of course, he had done things. He had done many things: scientific breakthroughs, molecular advancement, alchemical improvements, etc. Carter followed directly in his father’s footsteps. He was smart; some even called him a genius. He was handsome, it had just begun to show, but his father had always been the womanizer as a young adult, and Carter was expected to be one as well. The fifteen years he had been alive simply didn’t give him enough time though. He just hadn’t done enough.

Another reason was his brother. He had so not to having a ‘guard’ with him. He had fought and yelled with fury until his throat was dry and his eyes were bloodshot. But no, his mother had insisted that if he was to travel the country, he would take his brother. Carter didn’t hate him, no, it was far from that. He loved his brother, honestly, but it often took the spotlight. That was a lie. Damion always took the flipping spotlight. Having a large, dark-haired man following you would of course take the attention away from you! Every time, people would gather around and gape at him, throwing up ridiculous questions. “Are you the genius? You must be, you’re tall and handsome!” At least, this is all that Carter heard.

He could deal with it though. He didn’t need recognition, or praise. He simply needed to be over with this stupid fruitless journey that they had embarked on. For months they had been searching! For what, a pile of books and tons of empty vials that had not helped them at all? What could Carter expect, however? He had always figured that it would be much easier. They had simply set off into the world, no direction and no clues as to what they should do. What was he supposed to do, though?

He couldn’t sit down and watch as millions of people died. People had ridiculed him for not already coming up with a cure, but other then that, a blind eye had been turned to the soon-to-be pandemic. Carter was a scientific master after all, and that sort of thing came with privileges. In his own mind, though, he was simply a brown-haired, blue-eyed boy with too much ambition.
This is where we are now, with Carter staring out of the window of a steam engine, and Damion devouring a tray of food, his face covered in tiny bits of rice.


So, feel free to comment. I know it's horrible, it sucks, etc.

Last edited by Remplissage on Wed May 11, 2011 6:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: It's so horrible, gah! I need some help.   Wed May 11, 2011 6:55 pm


Quit pitying yourself.

It's pretty realistic for that time period and I like the somewhat "envy" Carter portrays toward his brother.
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Experienced Poster

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PostSubject: Re: It's so horrible, gah! I need some help.   Thu May 12, 2011 5:43 pm

Interestin' idea. :D
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Join date : 2011-05-15
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PostSubject: Re: It's so horrible, gah! I need some help.   Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:32 am

Not interesting idea. Magnificent and INTERESTING idea
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