my life so far

Subject: my life so far Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:56 pm

Name: Allan Mactaylor
Age/Birthday:11 May 26
Gender:male
God Parent: demeter
Claimed: Yes
Mortal Family: unknown
Years in Camp:1 month
Brief History: gotten in big troubble in my life nearly killed by a pack of angry nyads. (diddn't know what they were back then I thought they were swimmers. I asked how long they were down there and they tried to kill me. came to camp half blood and ran straight into dyonysus who shot vines at each other at the same time and nearly killed him. now I spend most of my time haning around with the dryads mostly with a bluberry bush ( blueberrys are my favorite) who I tried to pick a berry off of and she got super mad.
Physical Appearance: thick black hair dark brown eyes. tan skin few frekels. super flexible. 5 foot 1 in Personality: quick witted. love nature. very resoursful. frustrated easilly.
Fatal Flaw: fell asleep near the minotaur.
Pets: a baby hellhound ( as big as a refrigarator)
Talents: can make giand vines spurt out of the ground at random.
Weapons: calestial bronze spear.
Year-Round or Summer: year round

Subject: Re: my life so far Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:40 pm

I'd recommend you revise it a bit. Check your spelling, fix some of the grammar in the history (It's pretty confusing) Also, I'd recommend full sentences for the appearance and personality. If she had fallen asleep near the minotaur, it wouldn't be a flaw. A flaw is like phobias and weaknesses. Your character looks good besides those mistakes, though. Welcome to the site, and have fun :]