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 are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]

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moon
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PostSubject: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:25 am



Tessa Traverse
|Tessa’s heart pounding a revoltingly steady melody, loud in her ears as she rushed back to cabin two. It hurt - oh Gods did it hurt. She didn’t look behind her in the fear that when she looked backwards, she’d run back to the very thing she was trying to run from. Her hands were shaking, but not from the cold or her sprint. She was terrified. Her emotions were in the middle of World War Three, screams and tears mixed together to form a feeling similar to that of vomiting. Tessa wanted him out, but it stung.

When she finally did reach the crowded cabin, she felt like the walls were closing in on her. Her perfectly formed world was falling apart in front of her - suffocating her. He was out of her life. She was okay - she was okay. She was not okay. The demigod had a compulsive instinct to cry and hope that the tears washed away whatever horrible emotions she was feeling, but then someone walked by. Her face turned to metal.

“You okay, Tessa?”

No. “Yeah, it’s just cold outside,” Tessa responded quickly, wiping the corners of her eyes. She smiled, ducking into her room. The camper who she shared it with - Vivian - was out, probably with a boyfriend of her own. Sitting there, on her bed, the camper was unsure of what she was supposed to feel as she was now boyfriendless. Her dark eyes caught sight of her polaroids, dozens of snapshots she had taken over the course of her years at camp. Most contained Jared and herself in a variety of cheesy poses. The vomit feeling returned. How fake was she? She had a boyfriend she didn’t even like - or hadn’t, rather. She had smiled at a stranger. She had lied. Who was Tessa Traverse?

One of the polaroids caught her eye - an overly bright image of Archer. It wasn’t very clear, but it was him. She’d recognize that smile anywhere. The memory brought a smile to her face even now, despite the whole I’m-freaking-out-who-am-I thing. She needed to see Archer.

Between the second of deciding to visit him and actually seeing him, Tessa’s mind was a sea of worry. Would he even want to talk to her? What had they last said to each other? Her emotional roller coaster was going anywhere but up. Would he be angry with her too? The demigod was angry enough with herself, did she need his input too? She remembered his smile. Scratch that, she needed to see him.

Tessa didn't knock, she just entered. Wrapping her arms around his chest she just stood there, burying her head in him and sobbing. It was him. It had always been him, really.

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Mar 29, 2015 5:21 pm

Everyone had a sob story, one to tell the world and they would pity you because of your misfortunes. Everyone had bad days, days where you didn’t want to leave your room, you just wanted to lay there and think about life and what you did wrong. Everyone pitied themselves at one point or another. Wishing they had cheated on their ACT’s to get into a better college, or putting yourself down because you didn’t get first place in a piano competition. But very rarely did people have all three, and if they did, it was even rarer for those people to experience all three at once. But then again, Archer Thrush had never been a normal person. Since the moment he was born, glory and honor and greatness flowed through his blood. Since the moment he was born, he was destined for heartache. 

There really was only one reason why he was holed up in his room, refusing to speak to anyone and refusing to eat the the tiniest scrap of food. That reason was Tessa. Well, not Tessa specifically, it was more of her relationship with this idiot medic named Jared. Whenever the name was brought up in conversation, the demigod’s blood boiled in rage. He was a jerk. An idiot. A showoff. Archer believed Tessa deserved better, yet he couldn’t get her to see reason. He had been moping ever since he heard the news, and he hadn’t been the same since she rejected him. Today had been particularly bad, as Archer had woken up screaming for his mother and father and sister. Which prompted him, yet again, to build another house out of hundreds of popsicle sticks.

It had taken the legend all day to complete half the house. Tomorrow he would finish the rest. On the third day he’d smash his creation and start again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. That was all he did in days like these. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Not even Landon could get him out of this rut. Only Tessa, with her black hair like shrouding darkness and her eyes like dark jewels, could get Archer to be himself again. He knew that wouldn’t happen. She was off with Jared, probably. He envisioned them kissing, laughing, having fun together and it sickened him. Archer Thrush was a very possessive teenager, getting whatever he wanted. This was torture of the highest degree, knowing that she was off with another camper that wasn’t him. 

But all of a sudden, there was Tessa, and she was wrapped around him like something horrible had happened. After a couple minutes of hugging her closely, he pulled her away so she could see his hands. ‘Tessa? Tess, what’s wrong. What’s happened?’ 
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Mar 29, 2015 5:49 pm



Tessa Traverse
| As she stood there, holding onto Archer, a Taylor Swift song popped into her head. She didn't listen to her very often, but one string of lyrics stuck in her head. 'Band aids don't fix bullet holes.' And as she cried, nothing else had ever seemed more relevant. You couldn't just mask the wounds you make on other people. You couldn't just smile it off and pretend nothing happened. Did she put a band aid on Archer? They hadn't spoke of it, but she wondered. Jared, despite being a medic, had put a band aid on her. She was bleeding through it. Was she any better than her shit boyfriend?

Tessa's identity crisis had been masked with band aids. She smiled it off. But you couldn't do that in life; you had to deal with it. She didn't know who she was, but maybe with Archer's help, she could. Right now she just wanted to cry. Maybe her tears would wash away her impurities and sins, renewing her. Tessa doubted it, though. She had been too fake for too long, and eventually she'd have to grow out of her shadow and deal with all the mistakes she had made. However, crying seemed more important at the moment.

When she got particularly sad and thought about the inevitable end of the universe the air around her matched her mood. Persephone gifted her daughter with more than the ability to produce flowers. The light in the room faded as a dark shadow filled the space, swallowing the teenagers whole. Eventually her tears slowed, and she was able to inhale the smell of Archer. He smelled good. Familiar. Tessa buried her half smile in his chest as the shadows receded.

She sniffled as he pulled away ever so slightly, the air still smelling of him. Wiping the tears out of her eyes, Tessa translated his signs. 'I broke up with him.' The vomiting feeling returned, so she unwrapped herself from him and took a step back. 'He's a douche, I - ' She stopped. Tessa didn't want to tell Archer what had happened. Those memories were fresh, engraved in the back of her mind, and she hated them. She wanted to forget, and speaking (or signing) would just make them real again.

She shivered and signed again, 'Can we watch movies?'

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:24 pm

If there was one person in the entire world that Archer knew he loved, it would be Tessa Traverse. She was his universe, once a small nebula of an acquaintance, just rocks and dust in his memories. But then came the falling of the tree, and the worry that was on her face, and Tessa transformed from nebula to sun, blazing and burning bright. She was the thing that Archer thought of in the morning. Not his parents. Not his sister. Not his twin. Not his deafness. Her. Whenever Archer thought of Tessa he smiled like an idiot and blushed, and at night he’d flail his arms in his bed, covering his face with a pillow to keep from giggling. He was so happy when he saw his sun. His world, his universe. 

And yet, his sun was dimming. She had fallen from her high pedestal and was plummeting towards the underworld. Tessa had reconstructed herself once again from blazing sun to supernova, collapsing in within herself. Archer couldn’t let his sun go. He had to have that light in his life, lest he go just like his parents did. As he hugged Tessa, trying to hold her together, not wanting her to fall apart like everything else had, he noticed that the room was getting darker. It was too dark to talk to her through sign language, and so for the extent of the darkness, he decided to whisper. “I promise it’s okay. I promise you’ll be okay, Tess. You’re my best friend, and I’ll make sure you’re okay.” She was more than a best friend to him, but Tessa never returned the feelings. His hearts was still healing from rejection, but that wouldn’t stop Archer from trying. The darkness suffocated him, his heart rate was beating faster. Archer hated unneeded darkness.

When the sunlight returned, he held her at arms length, wiping away her tears with his thumb and grinning, trying to get her to grin too. His beautiful sun. He watched her sign intently, hanging on her every silent word. He signed back when she was done. “No, it’s fine. If you don’t want to talk you don’t want to talk.” The suspense, however, was killing the demigod. What happened between them? Were they friends? Was there a chance they could still get together? Was Tessa ultimately and permanently single? Archer, needless to say, was a little bit relieved. But that relief was soon replaced by anger. How dare that ape touch something so pure as the sun. How dare him, breaking her heart and making her cry. Archer made a silent vow to punch him in the face next time he saw Jared. 

“Movies,” Archer signed, wrapping an arm around Tessa and leading her to his couch. “Sounds great.” He held up a mountain of discs, setting them before her. “I got whatever. Anime. Rom com. Action. Comedy. Drama. Musicals. You pick.” 
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon Mar 30, 2015 4:13 pm



Tessa Traverse
|The first time Tessa realized she could create darkness she was angry at Colette. She loved her adopted sister, but the two were like fire and ice, so polarized that they had to be put together. The demigod had been ten and, at the time, darkness seemed better than light. She was thinking about death and the inevitable end when the world would swallow all it had created. Night closed in around her, cold and unforgiving, until only the sound her heartbeat remained. She couldn’t see through it, but she didn’t want to either. Tessa respected darkness and its mystical, thought provoking nature. Black was the color of memory, and oh - she remembered.

She thought of her firsts as the shadows engulfed them. Tessa couldn’t control it sometimes, especially with her heart shattered and her mind bruised, so she didn’t try. The darkness seemed a never ending sea of black, blues and purples. While it was a cold color, she still felt warm. She knew that as long as she had Archer with her, she’d never really be alone. He could be her lighthouse. Tessa heard him through the echoey black and smiled. “I know,” she breathed back, knowing he couldn’t hear her. Her tears were drying against her face as the fog lifted.

His hands were warm, too. She had the sudden urge to cry again, but not out of anger or sadness. Archer, in all his deaf glory, was a saint. How hadn’t she noticed her fortune? Tessa’s frowning lips curved upwards as he smiled at her. For half a second, she forgot her traumatizing experience and the world melted away, leaving her best friend as the only thing in the world. She wouldn’t mind that. ‘It’s a long story,’ the girl signed back, shrugging her shoulders as she continued to wipe at her eyes.

Tessa hadn’t realized that the cabin’s rooms were large enough to fit couches into them. Her room certainly wasn’t. Then again, Vivian had quite the supply of, well, everything. When he set his arm around her, she flinched out of it. It wasn’t him - no - he still smelled great, but she remembered a few minutes ago and she just couldn’t. Awkwardly signing, she said, ‘Sorry, I had a chill.’ And Tessa didn’t want physical contact after…

She took a seat on the couch, studying the piles of discs that he had laid out before her. ‘Rom Coms?’ the demigod questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. ’Do you have Grease?’

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Wed Apr 01, 2015 9:57 am

One of Archer’s favorite things to do was watch movies. Movies, although maybe not as detailed as books, allowed you to escape your world for a short period of time; lose yourself in the minds of others just as people have done before you. As a child, the boy would come teetering down the steps in his green footie pajamas, a blanket tucked under his arm and a thumb in his mouth, brown hair mussed up like he’d just blow dried it, and demand that he wanted to watch a movie. Little Archer had particularly taken a shine to Fox and the Hound, even if he didn’t understand its dark undertones. Sometimes Landon would join him, and the pair would watch movies until they fell asleep. This tradition, though much had changed about it, was still in play today. For one, Archer didn’t own a single pair of footie pajamas, rather now he slept in drawstring sweatpants and a black V-neck. Another change was that the boy had grown into somewhat of a childish man, so he now realized what the Fox and the Hound really said, so he strayed from it. 

Probably the most notable change was Archer’s permanent deafness. It was a shame that the underlying soundtracks were now lost to him, and that the voices couldn’t reach him. Still, when it came to movies, Archer didn’t care the form in which he had gathered the information. As long as the actors were good looking and the graphics weren’t shitty, the legend had no problem reading along with the subtitles. He was a little dismayed when Tessa pulled out of his grasp. It was the date rejection all over again, and Archer couldn’t help but to feel a little downtrodden. Still, she had just broken up with Jared. Archer probably wouldn’t want to be touched either. However, no matter what happened between them, it still hurt. Rejection. Rejection still hurt. ‘Oh.’ Was really all he could sign. 

‘Grease? Let me see…’ Though he did have rom coms and musicals, Archer himself enjoyed action movies. The high paced action made him sit on the edge of his seat, leaving him begging for more after the two hours were up. He liked especially The Avengers, and took a particular shine to Hawkeye. Why? Because they were both deaf, and they both shot bow and arrows to take down the baddies. But this wasn’t about him and his role models. This was about Tessa and getting her to laugh and smile and forget about that prick Jared. So Archer found Grease. ‘Good news! I have Grease. Bad news! Grease is not The Avengers.’ He signed, a smile on his face as he put it in.

The couch itself wasn’t that big. It was more of a love seat, really. That was really ironic. But Archer came and sat as far away as possible because he knew Tessa probably didn’t want to be touched. While he understood - and respected - her decision, the big couldn’t help to be a little miffed. He wasn’t going to do anything to her but provide comfort. As the movie started, he signed. ‘One of the good things about me being deaf is that I won’t constantly talk during the movies.’ Oops. Morbid. But it was true.
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Apr 05, 2015 3:47 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Tessa didn't like Grease the first time she watched it. Her twelve year old self found it predictable and annoying with its catchy songs. But eventually she grew up and the themes could be seen through the cheesy lines. She became unwillingly attached to the movie, and it was her go to comfort film. Most people watched Hallmark movies or the Titanic, but not Tessa. She watched Grease. When asking about watching actors on their transparent screens, she hadn't considered that Archer couldn't hear them anymore. They could have subtitles, sure, but that wasn't the same as actually hearing someone.

Over the months that the demigod had known Archer she had tried to imagine what it would be like to be deaf. After many silent nights and lonely mornings, she had boiled down to her thought process to this: it would be like being colorblind and drawing a picture. If you saw someone else's picture, you might see the wrong color, but you knew what yours looked like. Tessa often wondered if he could see her picture clearly.

She felt bad for shrinking away from him, but she couldn't help it. Her skin still burned from Jared's touch, and she couldn't take another burn, even if it brought her warmth. Not right now anyways. Tessa was tempted to sign something again, but her fingers just formed a fist. She didn't want to explain it. Teenagers had to explain everything in their lives, from their music choice to their grades, and Tessa didn't want to explain this, even if Archer was her best friend.

Tessa was tense again as she sat down, the muscles in her back tightening like a wire as he searched for the movie. She smiled as he put the DVD in, feeling guilty she hadn't thought of what he would've wanted to watch. 'We can watch the Avengers after,' she responded. Tessa liked Marvel just as much as the next converse - wearing girl, but she didn't buy the heroes-always-win scenarios. If being a demigod taught her anything, it was that the heroes didn't win, they survived.

She noticed he sat far away from her, and she didn't like it. They weren't strangers. During the opening credits Tessa scooted closer to him, about a hands length from him. 'I wouldn't mind if you did.' She smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes.

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:13 am

Archer used to really like musicals. Well, just any music in general, but mostly musicals. He dreamed of being a performer in broadway, where all the lights shined upon you and all the glory and the fame of the stage was yours for the taking, where you knew your place among the actors and the props. Everything was easier in musicals, there was a set beginning and end, and just when you thought the main character’s perils were all for nothing, that he was going to give into the darker forces at work and just let all of his hard work be worthless, he pulled through and made everything alright again. It was that type of hero that inspired Archer. He wanted to be that hero. He wanted to be that savior. He wan’t to be that light in an otherwise dark and dreary world. And while he was far from achieving that goal, he could be all of those things for Tessa. Archer could be the one to save her, even if she didn’t want to be saved. He’d protect her, and love her, and shield her from all the dangers of the outside world. There were so many. 

Now that the world had been blasted silent around him, musicals had lost their charm and appeal. It was now apparent to Archer that he’d never be able to be on the shining lights of broadway. He’d never be able to sing in a choir. He’d never be able to achieve his dreams. That crushed him. It felt like he wasn’t just failing himself, but also his parents. Olivia and Spencer Thrush had always pushed their children to do whatever they wanted. They fueled dreams, pushed ambitions. And now that Archer was deaf and unable to reach his goals, he thought his parents were frowning at him. In turn, he frowned at the screen, despite knowing what was going on. 

Archer didn’t look over when he saw Tessa signing to him because he got the gist of what she was trying to saw. But he shook his head. “Tess, it’s your night. You’re the one who’s hurting. Not me.” Though that wasn’t exactly true. Archer was hurting. He hurt for his best friend and for his lost dreams, which was making his heart hurt. “If you don’t want to watch Avengers we don’t have to.” 

“Well, what do you want to talk about?” After that, Archer didn’t sign anything. Literally he was sitting in silence. He watched the screen, his blue eyes like frosted glass. Admittedly, he’d never seen Grease. Despite being a musical loving nerd, he never found the fakeness of the 60’s to be entertaining. His favorite musical he’d ever seen - screen or stage - was Pippin. He wanted to be Pippin. Hell, he felt like Pippin. Lost and alone and frustrated. But maybe with Tessa, he didn’t have to be. 
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon Apr 06, 2015 12:20 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Despite living in cabin two for the majority of her life (excluding those few months the minor gods' children were banned to the basement) she had yet to get used to it. The building was cold and full of an unwelcome aura. She knew Hera hated all the demigods that took refuge in their building. To be fair, Tessa was sure she would hate Hera right back, with all of her peacocks and vanity. Anyways, cabin two had never really felt like home, but in Archer's room, with his love seat and DVD's, home didn't feel that far away.

Tessa had struggled with the concept of home since she realized that her loving parents were not actually her's. They didn't actually have any children; she was adopted. Most would feel loved and gracious, but the demigod had felt cheated. She loved her adopted parents, there was no doubting that, but she knew she didn't really belong in Canada. She had real ties somewhere else and that home was just temporary. Then Camp Half Blood came along, and the feminine walls of Hera's cabin couldn't be considered home. If she survived long enough to go to college, Tessa wanted a permanent home to find herself in. Then again, if the teenager looked to her left, she could see a different - better - kind of home.

She was about to sign back to him again, but she didn't. Tessa could feel an invisible force in the back of her mind preventing her from saying what she wanted. The memories of Jared were still too fresh to be relived. 'I like the Avengers,' the teenager insisted. Tessa could guess why he made that Avenger comment; Hawkeye was very similar to him. The idea of Archer walking around in a super suit was amusing as well. She smiled to herself at the thought.

Her eyes flicked back to the screen, but not before comprehending his question. What did she want to talk about? Tessa liked the idea of constant conversation, whether it was good or bad or otherwise. People talking was comforting and silence set her on edge; in the silence she could hear herself too loudly. 'I don't know,' the demigod admitted. 'Nothing. Everything.' Tessa sighed, adjusting her position. 'I am sorry, you know. I was stupid.'

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Tue Apr 07, 2015 9:46 am

Archer did not particularly enjoy people who pitied themselves. He’d lived a long life so far, a hard life. He rarely pitied himself for what happened. Sure, he was depressed and upset and hurt over what happened. Sure, he spent days locked up in his room building popsicle stick houses. Sure, he looked so tired and done with life. But never once had Archer Thrush pitied himself. The events that happened all those years ago had made him who he was today. Without the explosions and the deaths, he never would have gone deaf or gone to camp until he did, which probably would mean that the chance encounter between him and Tessa never would have happened, and then the tree never would have fallen, and then they never would have bonded in the hospital, and Tessa and Jared never would have dated and broken up, and Archer wouldn’t be where he was today with her. So really, for this night to happen, Archer’s parents and sister had to die. For the greater good.

He wasn’t entirely sure if Tessa was pitying herself right now or not. She might’ve been, but Archer didn’t want to make her feel like he was barging into her thoughts. Really all he wanted was for her to be okay. “What’re you sorry about?” He signed, curiously watching her face. Tessa had this simplistic beauty about her, Archer decided. She wasn’t like the sun, blazing and regal. Royalty didn’t suit her. No, to Archer, Tessa was like a pearl. Iridescent and majestic and rare, built to outlast even the strongest of men. She didn’t need to be the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth for Archer to like her. To him, Tessa was perfect just the way she was. “Are you sorry about Jared? Look, you’re right. He’s an idiot. An asshole. A jerk.” His words were getting harsh, but then he sighed. “Though, I guess if he made you happy at one point in time… I guess he wasn’t a complete waste of time…” 

For a while the two sat in silence again, though for Archer nothing ever changed. Sometimes he wished he could just make everyone else deaf so they knew the slow, torturous pain he had to go through on a day to day basis. Everyone said that they could relate one way or another, but they really couldn’t. Not to Archer. That was one of the reason why he liked Tessa so much. She didn’t try and make it seem like her life was harder than his. They kept their problems separate. After a couple minutes though, Archer just couldn’t keep his hands still. “Did you know I used to have a dog? Sorry… That’s random, I don’t know why I just said it."
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ooc :: i didn't notice this before but in your second post you used a banned word so i'm giving you a warning. sorry moonies.


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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:24 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Her feet tapped against the floorboards along with the familiar songs, quiet enough for her to hear without potentially disturbing anyone else in the cabin. While Tessa herself was not musical (not at all), she still enjoyed music. The melodies covered every emotion the teenager had experienced, and the melodies would define new emotions for her if needed. When nothing else was there, there was music. Maybe it wasn't even the melodies that she enjoyed, but the words. People could be so relate-able when they weren't trying to impress anyone. Honest people were the best kind of people, too, and music was honest.

She smiled at him. The curve of her lips didn't quite meet her eyes, but it was still a smile. Tessa began to sign something, but she clenched her fist, stopping herself. Instead, she looked at him. Archer looked like she felt. Tired. But the demigod was sick of being tired, sick of waiting for something to happen, sick of lying. She exhaled as he continued signing, nodding as she absorbed his words. Jerk, asshole... yeah, that was Jared. 'I'm sorry because I knew. I knew he was horrible, and I didn't care. I was so stupid. I lied to myself...' Lying was such a chore; you had to maintain your lies to keep them from collapsing and make sure no one ever found out about them. No more mysteries, no more lies. Tessa Traverse wasn't a mystery waiting to be solved. She just wanted to be a person, her own kind of person.

The silence didn't seem as empty as it had a second ago, and she used it to continue her thoughts on existence. She had tried so hard to be so many kinds of people. The perfect girlfriend, the best friend, the rebellious camper. Tessa had lost herself inside of herself and who she thought she was supposed to be. She smiled as Archer began the conversation again. 'What was its name?" the demigod questioned, glancing over at him. There was too much space between them, she decided. Tessa inhaled sharply, closed her eyes and shifted closer against him, leaning her head against his shoulder. The motion was quick and her stomach was instantly buzzing with butterflies. She needed him to know. Tessa opened her eyes then, waiting for a reply as her stomach continued to tie itself in knots.

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:34 pm

Being deaf was a curse. Being deaf meant that Archer couldn’t do the one thing he loved most. Sing. The boy had always been talented in many areas, and he was known to everyone as the golden boy. And golden he was. He shone brightly like his grandfather, only tarnished by his deafness. Sure, the legend still had his brain and his love for shooting arrows, but it didn’t spark ambition to become the best. It was all because of him, and his ignorance towards what his parents were trying to do. The worst thing was was that Archer still didn’t know what they had been up too, and that left a massive hole in his heart. His parents and sister, as far as Archer Thrush was concerned, had died in vain because he had failed to uncover the truth. And he couldn’t forget his failure either, not while he was deaf to the world. Music should’ve been an escape for the demigod, but the sweet notes and lyrics had been forever lost to him like the ruins of an ancient city. 

He wondered what Tessa’s escape was. Unlike him, there was a whole world of opportunities shining down upon her like a Utopia. Archer? Archer was frowned upon because of a disability he never even asked for“Tessa, you should’ve told me sooner.” The flare of protectiveness was shooting up his spine again, igniting fury in his bones towards Jared. Jared, the person who’d shattered his beloved’s heart. Jared, who wasn’t even that good of a medic. Archer wasn’t experienced in the ways of medical science, yet was sure he could save ten more lives in a day than that shit medic ever could. “It’s okay to lie to yourself. I lie to myself everyday.” Archer tried not to lie to others, but he had no problem lying to himself. 

And then they touched. Tessa had laid her head on Archer’s shoulder, and all he could think about was not messing this up. This might be the only time this happened. This might be the only time that a hot girl trusted him and touched him in this way and Archer was freaking out. His heart rate accelerated, and he had trouble focusing on the subtitles of the movie. “Um… I got to name it, and I named him train-tracks because I was really into engineering. We called him tracks, though.” Tracks had died a couple of months before the explosion, so he didn’t ever suffer. Archer was secretly glad he was there petting his dog as he was put down. It was sad, but it was better than watching Tracks burn alive.
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon Apr 20, 2015 8:26 pm



Tessa Traverse
| The universe was infinitely huge, leaving Tessa feeling infinitely powerless in the grand scheme of her existence. She didn't remember feeling so lost before, or maybe she had felt this hopelessness before. Maybe that was the reason why she had changed herself so often - leaving different faces for different people. The idea of people everything was more appealing than being a singular person alone in this big world. But no matter how hard she tried, the demigod couldn't be more than one person. She wasn't - isn't - infinite. Unless she desired to be reborn, Tessa knew she only had one lifetime to live, and she didn't want to spend that short time period being a fake, incomprehensible mess. Life is short, you might as well spend it being you, she deicded.

While surviving life as a demigod was her first priority, Tessa decided to fix herself along the way. Maybe she could figure out who she was really was instead of the person she had convinced herself she needed to be. As Archer began signing, she felt a familiar comfort seeping back into her, like she was being infused with sunshine. 'I know, I just couldn't.' Her hand fell to her leg after she signed, guilt washing over her again. Her emotions were fighting a battle, and right now Tessa wasn't winning. She took another look at Archer before deciding to engage in physical contact.

The demigod could feel her heart rate pounding in her ears, or maybe that was his pulse, she couldn't be sure. It felt electric and dangerous, but Tessa knew it wasn't. This was Archer, her ray of sunshine, not someone to fear. Her gaze shifted from the movie to him, trying to memorize the curves of his face. It might've been her post - boyfriend state of mind, but she didn't mind the view. 'I bet he was cute,' she signed back, trying to contain her smile. 'I wish I could say I regret it, but I don't. I learned from it,' she told him, inhaling the scent of his shoulder. 'Things seem a lot less awful when people say that, I guess, but I believe it. It still hurts, but it can't hurt forever.'

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Apr 26, 2015 1:33 pm

Sometimes, on nights like these, when the demigod was feeling especially lonely and it was cold outside, he’d make himself a cup of hot chocolate. The drink, warm and soothing, would scald his throat and burn his tongue, and that’s how Archer knew he was alive, and not a dead corpse walking around camp, taking the identity of a boy with coarse brown hair and dull blue eyes. The hot chocolate was like a rope that led him by bound wrists day to day. Of course, with Tessa there, he wasn’t as lonely, but Archer felt dead inside. He didn’t know why, because being around Tessa usually made him happy. But maybe it was because of the popsicle house that sat in shadows in the corner of his eye. Maybe it was the movie that was like a silent film to him, and it made Archer realize just how much of a disadvantage he was at. Or maybe it was Tessa herself. At any rate, the legend got up, going under his bed and coming out with a steaming thermos. Being a grandson of Athena, Archer was very innovative, and found a way to keep a warm bottle of hot chocolate in his room at all times. He took a sip, feeling the brown liquid completely burn his lips and tongue, and he felt better. 

“Well you should’ve. What do you think I would have done to you, Tessa? Judged you? No. I mean, your taste in men could be improved, but that’s only a minor flaw. I would’ve helped you like any friend would’ve.” Like any good boyfriend would’ve. Archer knew never to think of Tessa in a couple sort of way. He knew they’d never work out because Tessa didn’t want them to. But he couldn’t help it when he looked at her in this sort of light. Vulnerable. Broken. Crushed. A dying star among striving ones. Archer would never have treated her so poorly. A creature of her stature was made of china and glass, and Jared was the dragon that crushed her. Archer was the knight that would put his queen back together, even if he got no reward in return. It hurt, but it was his duty.

When Tracks was brought up again, Archer couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He took another drink of the hot chocolate. “Yeah, he was really cute.” But not as cute as you. “He was kind of small, and his fur was white with two black stripes going down his back. We had to put him down a couple months before the fire, and I was with him.” Archer takes another sip of the hot chocolate, letting it sit in his mouth as it burned his cheeks.He didn’t swallow it as he signed to Tessa. “See, that’s where we branch off. You think it can’t, but I know it will.”  He finally swallowed the hot chocolate, feeling it burn his throat. It was a good kind of pain, making him feel alive. 
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Sun Apr 26, 2015 2:46 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Tessa couldn't recall the last time she had sat down and watched a movie. It seemed like ages, although her memory cold have been off. When at camp there wasn't exactly time to relax. It was always prepare for this war, or prepare for this potential crisis. Living wasn't really an option, there was only rushing. You could never be fully prepared for what could be coming. Camp reminded her of the universe, in that way. You didn't know what was out there, but you wanted to. Younger Tessa wanted to be an astronaut, and live on Mars. The stars on Earth were untouchable, so why not meet the extraterrestrial ones? As she aged, she realized that, while the galaxy was infinite, there were small infinities on Earth too.

When Archer moved she jolted upright again, her muscles  tensing. She looked down at her shoes while he was gone. It was a short few seconds, but it was enough for her to notice all the stains on her sneakers. There was a hole from the time she stumbled into the creek, grass stains from capture the flag, and plenty of dirt from her everyday travels. Tessa glanced over at him as he returned with a thermos. She was curious, but didn't say anything. 'I didn't realize anything was wrong,' the demigod responded. 'I guess I just got used to it, so I didn't think anything of it. I know you would've helped me... I just didn't think I needed it.' She exhaled, glancing at Archer. Her taste in men. Tessa wondered if hew knew how great he was; gorgeous, loyal, the true fairy tale prince (only deaf).

The Traverse's never had pets. They were far too busy, and their house was far too small for another body. Colette begged for a cat for years though, despite knowing that she couldn't have one. Some things were just impossible like that. Mentally translating what Archer sighed, she stole another glance at him. Some things were just impossible, like him. 'It shouldn't have to,' Tessa corrected herself, not meeting his gaze. There was a distance between them again. 'Life's too short for things to be permanent.'

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Tue Apr 28, 2015 9:12 pm

sunsets reminded archer of the explosion. of the fire. of his families deaths. the red scars that flew across the dusty blueish purple were the flames that engulfed his house, the black at the bottom the ashes and the emptiness his heart had felt after all was said and done. that was why archer hated sunsets, and it was also why nighttime was his favorite time, because it related with the legend so much more than the daytime. daytime, with all its opportunities and joys, didn’t know the struggle that the demigod had been going through. the night did. archer had always tried to be an opportunist, to take life by the reins and carve a mountain for yourself, to do the very best he could do, but for some reason, his thrill for life was slowly draining away from him, like a sponge that was losing water. he didn’t know the reason for it. archer set the thermos on the floor, finding that it didn’t help him after all. he remembered suddenly that he hadn’t offered tessa any. “i have hot chocolate if you want some. it’s in the thermos, i’m not sick.” he signed, turning his attention back to the movie. truthfully archer hadn’t been paying attention, so he couldn’t say wether he liked the movie or not, but it was tessa’s night. her night to grieve, her night to cry, her night to remember her regrets. archer was just a spectator in the whole ordeal, and he didn’t matter. 

“if i think something’s wrong with you, can i come to you about it? can i ask you if i can help you?”  he asked, coming up with a solution that he thought would work. archer wondered what tessa sounded like, if her voice was like bells in the wind, tingling with sweetness and kind words, or if it was like rough steel, coarse and grainy. but archer supposed it didn’t matter either way, he still would have loved tessa all the same. voices tended to be low on archer’s list in women. he wondered what she sounded like now, if she was angry at him or sad about asshole medic jared. archer lightly touched her hand, speaking instead of signing. “i just want you to be okay, tess. i don’t mean to be harsh, but i couldn’t bare it if you were broken like i am.” 

The haziness of the film that the sixties were known for was very relatable to archer right now. he didn’t understand what tessa was feeling, just like he couldn’t make out exactly what brand name the car was on the screen. archer was usually very charismatic, but he had lost it the second tessa came to his door. it was different when guys broke up, they didn’t cry, they didn’t say philosophical things that had a deeper meaning to it than one might expect. they played a game of air hockey and the girl was forgotten. but it was different for archer this time. he cared about most people, but tessa had stolen his heart. still, her words internally hurt him. of course things were permanent. his families deaths were permanent. his deafness was permanent. his love for tessa, in all its shapes and forms, was permanent. “life’s too short for things like breakups to be permanent.” archer finally agreed with her after a long while of silence, feeling like he’d done something wrong. 
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Tue May 05, 2015 10:53 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Tessa wasn't sure of the time. She didn't really care, but what time was it? It had been about eight when she came back to cabin two in tears, but the specific time wasn't important. The thought continued to nag her as she continued with the movie. What time had it been? She wasn't normally so picky, but she wanted to know the second she decided to ditch Jared's sorry ass. Her sadness had faded and transformed into a cocky anger for now, but her feelings were still soaring. One moment she could be in a calm sea, and the next she'd be caught in a raging storm, with waves relentlessly surging against her face, threatening to drown her. Emotions were confusing.

She tried to hide the smile on her face as he offered her some of his hot drink. 'I don't know; you might have cooties,' Tessa teased, reaching down to take a sip of the liquid. The teenager misjudged the temperature of it, her eyes watering as she swallowed. Her tongue was singed, but it warmed her stomach. She returned the thermos to the floor after a few searing swigs, sliding out of her shoes and pulling her feet to her chest. Tessa's head rested on her knees as she registered Archer's message. She swallowed. 'Yeah,' The demigod responded. She wanted to feel grateful for her prince - charming - like friend, but she couldn't help but feel agitated. Did she need help that badly? Tessa knew that Archer hadn't meant it like that, but the statement still registered on a low note. 'Thanks.'

Tessa half smiled as her eyes returned to the screen, where the characters were currently singing 'Beauty School Drop Out'. The movie would be over soon.  She jumped at the feeling of Archer's hand on her's, straightening back up into a sitting position, leaving his hand where it was. 'I'm not broken,' the demigod replied stubbornly, trying her bet not to frown. 'And you're not as broken as you think.' She smiled, turning her hand over and giving his a light squeeze before returning to her previous, curled up position.

She returned to the thoughtless lull that was Grease after a few moments, wondering how one drops out of beauty school and how one finds purpose after that. Jared and all complications were temporarily lost. Maybe that was the true magic to movies. Not the truth or lies that were portrayed by the beautiful people, but the way they made you forget about your problems for those short hours. Slowly though, she slipped back out of the fog and remembered her previous statement. Life was too short for things to be permanent. Stupid Tessa. The teenager saw him respond and instantly felt a pang of guilt. 'I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean - you know.' She stole a glance at him before returning her eyes to the television screen.

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon May 18, 2015 10:42 pm

in the long run, it was probably a good thing that tessa and jared had broken up tonight. archer had a tendency to remember at nighttimes, when the shadows of the dead crept upon him, memories sinking into his skin. he didn’t want to remember the flames, the heat, the screams of his sister growing fainter and fainter. no one, not even tessa, knew that the last thing archer had heard was the pleading shrieks of his baby sister as she was burned alive. it still haunted him to this day, and archer barely got any sleep. the legend had become an insomniac over the years, and though all the doctors said that it would go away in a few weeks, it hadn’t. for archer, being awake was a blessing and sleeping was a curse. sleeping just ended up with him screaming his broken heart out, sitting up and opening his eyes, tears still caught in the crushed blue orbs. tessa was a welcome distraction. her hand was soft and warm in his, and archer ran his thumb over her skin. the demigod wondered what it would be like to kiss her, to see if her lips were softer than her hands. archer smiled a little at the cootie remark. “yeah, i hear there’s an epidemic among boys. you better watch out, tess.” archer preferred tess to tessa, he soon found. 

the window was open by the demigod’s bed, blowing cold air in. ever since the explosion, archer always felt unnecessarily hot, as if he’d become part of the fire itself. right now he was wearing a faded red tank top and brown shorts, and still he felt as if he was burning. he needed to take his mind off of the fire, this wasn’t the time to pity himself. this wasn’t the time to compare himself to tessa. this wasn’t the time to blame her for her sins. after all, to err is to human. “i’m sorry… i know it’s not your fault you guys didn’t work out.” archer let out a sigh, scratching his arm. “some things just aren’t meant to be, tessa.” the legend looked at his legs, noticing how hairy they were, how discolored they were with the faded burn marks that would never truly disappear. then he looked at tessa’s, and to archer they looked smooth and perfect, like buttercream frosting. perfect, just like tessa was. archer didn’t argue with her, but he didn’t agree either. he was broken, and there was no fixing him.

“yeah… i-i know.” archer didn’t really know how to respond to her. she knew of his past, how delicate the subject was for him. or, at least, he hoped she did. “it’s whatever, though. it’s not like anything can bring them back.” he looked at his desk and at his unfinished popsicle stick house. archer wondered what his next failed plan of action was going to be to save his family. archer rubbed his eyes, blinking hard. he took the thermos and took a drink, wishing it was hotter.
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Mon May 18, 2015 11:22 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Grease was nearing its end as one of the main characters changed her wardrobe from a girly skirt to skin tight clothing with red heels. While Tessa admired the confidence someone would need to wear such things, but she hated the transition from the innocent Sandy to the dominant one. People didn't change that quickly, not really. The physical change may be that quick, but mentally it took ages for people, in her opinion, to really change. Then again everyone was different; some people were in a constant state of change while others stayed singular in their life ambitions. Tessa found herself more attached to the constant change. She was energy and mass, transitioning with her aspirations and goals. She could not be defined by leather leggings or flowing skirts.

Archer's touch was a welcome one. His hands were warmer than her's, and his fingers were comforting despite the lack of obvious danger in the room. Tess tried to avoid remembering how, a few days ago, she could've been doing this very thing with Jared. The situation would have been exceedingly different, but the thought still tugged on her mind. She smiled as he responded. She wasn't just Tessa with him, but Tess. She was unique when with him. 'Should I leave then? I wouldn't want to catch it,' the demigod replied, still grinning. The temperature began to drop as the final song started playing. Tess didn't complain though, she had Archer to keep her warm and the fluttering feeling in her stomach to keep her occupied.

She nodded again as she signed more, although she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Tessa wanted to talk about something else, anything else, really. The subject of her failures and misdeeds was getting mundane rather quickly. 'I know,' the teenager replied with another nod. She stole another glance at him. Were they meant to be? It seemed a horrible thought for a second, as if she could get over her heartbreak that quickly. Of course Tessa had considered Archer as more than a friend more than once; imagination was a blessing and a curse. She hadn't considered him as anything more than her best  friend before, but the fluttering in her stomach hadn't stopped. That had to mean something, right? But what did she know of love? Teenage love and lust were often blurred; which was which?

Tessa looked back at the movie as the ending credits played. She comprehended what he said, but how was she supposed to reply? She hadn't lost any family members over her eighteen years on earth. Exhaling, she smiled a little. Archer was such a good friend, a real life prince charming, there to save her from herself, whether she needed it or not. In her moment of happiness a small sprout of daisies began to emerge from the flooring. Tessa didn't notice until it was nearly a foot long and rubbing against her bare skin. At first she let out a little shriek before realizing she had made the flower. Her face scarlet red, she plucked the stem and began knotting and weaving the daisies until she had a circle. The demigod didn't know if Archer had been watching her, but a few moments later she was stretching up and placing the makeshift crown atop his glorious head. There. Her flower prince. Tessa laughed out loud, immediately with drawing her hand from his head as her blush returned.

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Tue May 19, 2015 11:15 am

archer normally felt agitated. under his calm. cool exterior, he was a mess. he had so many messed up problems, nightmares that would make a grown man question his own sanity. yet archer stayed completely calm on the outside. he knew that there was no point in making his friends worry. even in high school, when things weren’t nearly as bad, archer always had a happy smile on his face, even if it was fake. at school, the legend was a perfect little boy; with a dashing smile and a great mind. everyone knew he was destined for greatness. archer always told his friends that they could come to him no matter the problems they were having, but archer never extended that welcome to himself. it was only after the explosion, after the deaths and after he’d lost his hearing, that archer decided he’d open up and tell people about his problems. only, here at camp, no one cared. everyone had their own sob story; being a demigod wasn’t an easy - or even ideal - life. but that was what archer liked about tessa. she showed sympathy for his problems.

that was why, after a few minutes of being with her, archer had started to calm down. “no, of course not. you only get cooties if you kiss a boy. at least, that’s what the word on the street is.” the demigod smiled a little, biting his lip. he loved the aura tessa gave off, and she smelled nice too. she smelled of vanilla and lavender, and archer wanted nothing more than to curl up into her side and breath in her scent. but he refrained, and although he wanted more than just hand touching, he didn’t want tessa to be angry at him. Archer watched as the credits rolled across the screen, and he wondered if there was any background music to them, and if there was, if it was happy. if archer could ever have the chance to hear again, all he would listen to would be happy songs, starting with grease. 

“so… avengers, right?” archer signed as he got up and kneeled in front of the tv, taking out the disc and laying it carefully in the case. he put in avengers and came and sat down by tessa, tucking his legs underneath him and taking tessera’s hand in his again. he was much more interested in this movie, losing himself in all the cgi and explosions. once he saw hawkeye on the screen, archer smiled. the superhero was his role model even more he went deaf. clint barton was just so awesome and amazing. archer was so involved in the movie that he didn’t notice the flowers until a crown of daises was placed on his head. he looked at tessa and saw her blush, which made him blush as well. 

“it’s perfect.” archer said, the biggest grin on his face as he looked at her. “thank you, tess."
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Tue May 19, 2015 8:48 pm



Tessa Traverse
| While Tessa still felt the simmering disturbance beneath her skin from her recent breakup. There was no doubt in her mind that the memory of her first real heartbreak would sting long after this night of movies was over. She would feel it in random moments, before bed, while training, or during lunch. But the thought didn't register right now. She didn't care right now. All that really mattered was Archer. He was so good (for lack of a better term). He was kind, loyal, honest, everything little girls are told to look for in their true loves. Tessa found herself asking how she hadn't noticed this before as the second movie began to play. He was sunshine wrapped in shadows, but gods, he was there and he was real.

Her eyebrow raised as her friend commented on the cootie situation. She laughed again, replying, 'I'd never kiss a boy, especially not on a street.' Tessa knew Archer was intelligent enough to catch her sarcasm, but signing was not an excellent conductor of emotions. Dark eyes darted back onto his handsome face, catching a glimpse of him biting his lip. The fluttering in her stomach returned. Tess signed back a quick 'yes' in response to his question. She hadn't seem the Avengers, despite it being released a few years ago. Her collection of marvel tee shirts would be offended at her lack of movie watching, but she didn't have time (or money) for that kind of indulgence.

She hadn't expected him to take her hand again, but Tess wasn't going to complain about it either. Her hand seemed to fit inside of his larger one perfectly, making her question why she ever wasted her time with that idiot medic. Life was too short to waste it on carelss people like Jared. Tessa's first note about the Avengers: lots of action. She wasn't complaining, the explosions were glorious and exciting. Shortly after the opening credits Tessa noticed the daisies and began making the crown, disconnecting their hands. After placing it on his head she continued their series of innocent touches, this time by running her finger along the creases of his hand as the movie progressed.

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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:11 am

in his own mind, archer had never thought himself as anything but normal. sure, his background and lineage weren’t so ordinary, but he was. he could always run with the neighbour boys and play soccer with them. he could read and write just as well as any kid his age. he could build model ships with his friends and take apart toy trains to see what made them tick. there was never a doubt in his mind that he was anything but normal. so, if archer was normal, why did all the bad things happen to him? why did his family have to die? why did he have to be a demigod? why was he plagued with deafness? this wasn’t what normal boys were. normal boys his age got prepared for act’s and sat’s. normal boys his age got their girlfriends pregnant. normal boys his age made the honour roll. and archer? archer had accomplished nothing but crushed popsicle sticks and a single friend. this friend, though, had turned out to be the best thing ever, because archer found solace in her. she treated him like a prince, though he was anything but. tessa’s sly remark had earned her a small, though honest, smile from the boy. “that’s good. i hear street boys are filthy anyways. you’re much better off kissing a friend than a stranger.” 

when loki had taken control of hawkeye’s mind, archer couldn’t help but feel anger and sadness. he had seen this movie about a million times. he knew all the lines. he knew what was going to explode when. he could even reenact some of the fight scenes. yet these two minutes always came as a shock to him. every time he watched it, archer thought that hawkeye would find a way out. he’d fight back. he’d run to nat and together they’d destroy loki without the help of anyone else. his hero could never succumb to such a trivial man such as loki. but it had happened. the light had drained from clint barton’s eyes, and he was a slave to the adopted son of odin. archer tensed his jaw up a bit, angry that clint hadn’t fought back. weren’t heroes supposed to? weren’t they supposed to kick ass and take names until their dying breath? to archer, they were.

he cooled down when tessa put the flower crown on his head. at first, archer was a little taken aback when the flowers started growing out of his floorboards, wondering what tessa had been thinking about to have caused that. but then, he supposed, he shouldn’t ask. as a person with more than one ruined relationship under his belt, archer knew not to force the person to talk if they didn’t want to, and to under no circumstances, bring up their ex. of course, their previous conversation had caught the demigod red handed. he’d brought up jared. he’d also probably made tessa feel like shit. archer swallowed a lump in his throat as he motioned to the flowers, signing. “did i… did i cause this?"
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Fri Jul 10, 2015 1:26 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Tessa was not a model citizen. She didn't donate to charity (you needed money for that). She didn't clean road ditches with her community service organization. She certainly didn't enjoy helping out around cam as much as some of her peers did. No, Tess wasn't all that great. She lied; she even cheated on occasion. But the teenager was far from the worst kind of person. In her mind the world was split two ways: those that cared and those that didn't. She considered herself apart of the first group because - believe it or not - she cared about a select few and the fate of the universe. Maybe she only cared about one person in this particular moment, but hey - if you care a little bit that must count for something.

The sting of her broken heart faded as she became hooked on the movie. Tessa hadn't seen the Avengers in its entirety and she certainly didn't remember Hawkeye being controlled. The idea of mind control terrified the demigod, only because she knew that with Kronos it was likely possible. She prided herself on her stubbornness and will, but what was she without those things? Useful? She didn't want to know. Tessa looked over at Archer again, catching his sign. She tried to withhold a smile, but it eventually crept onto the corners of her lips as she laughed. 'You should have an advice column' the demigod replied. While she signed it, her mind wandered elsewhere. Did he mean what he said, or was it playful banter? Tess chose the latter.

She resumed her task of lazily memorizing Archer's hand with her fingertips. Tessa and Jared hadn't ever held hands - it was too mundane for the medic, apparently. But the teenager liked holding hands. There was just something about it that was both possessive and not. To her handholding declared, "Yes, this is my person, but also, this person shouldn't leave me until I let go, because I need them." Tessa glanced upwards again as she caught another sign, her blush returning as she nodded. 'I think so.' Her lips curved into another smile. Life was strange. One second she had been sobbing, and now she was watching the Avengers with her flower prince. Go figure. Life was short and stupid, but it occasionally didn't suck. When she was with Archer she never felt empty or incomplete; she felt free and wanted.

the opposite of amnesia


occ - i didn't realize you had posted oh my gosh; i'm so sorry
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PostSubject: Re: are you going to age with grace --- [mcsarah]   Today at 6:54 am

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