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 no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa

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a. hams
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PostSubject: no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa   Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:58 pm

Archer sat on the very end of the lunch table, a book in his lap and a plate of picked over, discarded food on the table. The demigod was bent over, his brown hair tickling his eyes, liquid amber in the sunlight. The wind rustled the yellowed pages of the book he was skimming over, brushing over his hands and turning them into icicles. It was cold out this evening, and Archer had neglected to wear the proper attire. That was weird for him, because usually he did everything he could to keep warm and out of the elements, but tonight something was wrong with him. Maybe it all started with the death of Kalina, a person he’d hardly known, or maybe it all started when Tessa rejected him at the ice rink. Either way, Archer Thrush was not Archer Thrush. He’d lost all appetite, and the food here tasted bland anyways. It was only because of the urgings of his twin that Archer bothered to eat, even if his reasoning was to get Landon to quit nagging him. Archer knew perfectly well the affects he was doing to his body; the weight loss, the dark bags under his eyes, and the mental strain he was putting himself under. The only thing that really appeased to the boy was reading, the activity that reflected the genes of Athena. Everything in this book was scribbled in greek and almost impossible to read, but Archer managed to decode it. Right now it seemed like he was reading about how to fix a boat in the middle of the ocean, something he would never have experience doing. After a while of reading, Archer straightened his back and stretched. He hadn’t moved in hours, it seemed.

Someone bumped into him, and the demigod quickly withdrew his leg from the walkway. He uttered an apology verbally, knowing that the person probably didn’t know American Sign Language. Most people didn’t, they didn’t seem to have consideration for the others that were considered ‘disabled’. Archer didn’t consider himself disabled; he was able to do everything a person who could hear, sometimes even better, he just did it differently. However, he looked up at the person on a whim, just to see if the demigod knew them. Fate would have it that he did, and the person was Tessa Traverse. Surprise didn’t seem to be evident on Archer’s face, as it was very highly plausible that he’d see Tessa here. After all, people had to eat. People that weren’t him and just grabbed a hamburger, with the mindset of letting it sit for an hour and a half while the grease congealed on top, making it uneatable. No, Archer’s face was that of pallid calmness, a little sprinkle of boredom mixed in. It wasn’t like he was mad at Tessa for rejecting him, but oh gods it hurt. It hurt his heart every time he thought about that day, and how happy he was. Archer, like so many others, did not deserve to be happy. 

But it wasn’t just the feeling of depression that had gripped him and made him what he was today - a walking skeleton. It was also a little bit of fear. Fright was also a key player in this, and with all the mysterious deaths and bizarre howls during the night, Archer’s fear factor was up tenfold. He often slept with a knife and flashlight under his pillow nowadays, with his bow and arrow just at the side of his bed. Ripping himself from his mental thoughts, the boy thought he should talk to Tessa. After all, even if she wouldn’t go out with him that didn’t mean that they couldn’t be friends.Hi.' Archer signed to her, closing the book and placing it on the table. ‘How… how are you? And Jared?’ He hated Jared’s stupid face, but it seemed like a conversation starter. Tessa deserved so much better than that jerk, she deserved someone like himself.
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PostSubject: Re: no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa   Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:38 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Tessa desperately wanted summer back, despite the fact that she resented summer and all of its warm, happy vibes. Summer what season most associated with Persephone, but her daughter didn't. She felt the chill of Autumn and the shadows that fell through the red leaves. Persephone wasn't a bright, naive goddess. Flowers wilted. Pain was felt. Nothing was permanent. In her mind, the teenager hoped her mother would understand and portray that. She wished for an intelligent, flexible mother who understood what she couldn't. Tessa enjoyed the ever changing aspect of life, but recently - more than not - she wished it would slow down. Kalina's death shook the camp apart, leaving young demigods terrified and experienced campers on edge. No one said it, but everyone understood the fear, and yet days passed. Time couldn't stand still, not even for demigods.

Anyways, in her feeling of stupid rebelliousness, she wore only a thin zippered sweatshirt and a tank top outside in the below freezing weather. Her jeans had holes, but she didn't care. At least, Tessa pretended she didn't as she walked through camp, decided to wear a beanie, just so she didn't get hypothermia and die. She could feel the goosebumps blossoming on her arms despite it.

Walking into the Mess Hall had lost its joy. Instead of bright, distinct chatter floating around the room whispers slithered in and out of mouths, most likely spreading unnecessary gossip and foul thoughts. Tessa had her own share of ugly theories, but she had the decency to keep them to herself. The last thing they needed to be was terrified of the unknown. Her thoughts, despite silent, distracted her as she ran into a leg, and not just anyone's leg, but Archer's. Her gut clenched as her words caught in her mouth.

She wanted to say something, but she couldn't. His eyes were too much; they were too perfect, too innocent, too overwhelming for her to comprehend or attempt to understand. But oh, she wanted to. Tessa wanted to hear him pour out his heart so she could memorize each of his scars like the lines of his face. But then she blinked, and she couldn't. This was the real world, and she had an overprotective boyfriend. The demigod had told herself to break up with him on a handful of occasions, but it hadn't worked out yet. Tessa knew that Archer couldn't hear that; she didn't want to hurt him anymore than she already had.

Seeing him sign, she smiled and took the liberty of sitting down beside him. 'Hi.' The word almost got caught on her fingertips, but she finished it. Greetings were normal. Angst filled friendships were not. The expression on Archer's face was also unusual. Where was his grin? The light in his eyes? She searched for it, but couldn't see it. 'I'm okay... we're okay. How're you?' If she had spoke the words, Tessa would've guessed them to have left her mouth dry. She had experienced more exciting conversations with her Canadian doctor.

the opposite of amnesia
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a. hams
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PostSubject: Re: no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa   Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:54 pm

Life, in Archer’s expert opinion, was complete shit. Nothing lasted forever, not even the sweet summer days of your childhood. There had been a time long ago, that the legend thought that everything good would continue until he was dead, only a pile of dust in a coffin, but he knew better now. Ever since the explosion that rendered him deaf and killed anybody he had ever loved, Archer knew that his beliefs were false. While he was in the hospital with Landon, recovering from his burns and trying in vain to regain some hearing, Archer became increasingly dismal. The doctors and nurses couldn’t revive him out of his stupor, and even his twin brother failed in trying to get him to smile. Archer just hadn’t the heart to do anything but curl into a ball and cry. Over time the boy’s had gotten better, though Archer's hearing loss was permanent, and so was his depressing outlook on life. Nothing would be the same again, and the degree of happiness that he had once felt with his brother, sister, and parents, had faded completely from his life and would ever return again. But once the legend arrived at camp and met Tessa, the spark that warmed his heart and made him feel somewhat alive again, Archer thought things would be different. With Tessa, he smiled more and forgot about the grievous mistakes he made. When Tessa was around, Archer’s past and dead family weren’t a constant reminder. She didn’t know about his family, and he doubted she ever would. To everyone here at camp, Archer was a mystery, a book half unread. His past was just too painful to tell anyone, Tessa included. She just made him feel happy and good again.

So why was this time different? Why did Archer feel a pit of dry, crumbling sadness in his stomach instead of a burst of euphoria?  He tried looking at his best friend, but couldn’t meet her eyes; it was just too painful. So the boy stared at the table, noticing the many grains in the wood, counting the vertical crevices on each board just to pass the time. He wanted to scream at Tessa, to tell her it was all her fault that he was like this and he’d wish he’d never met her. But that wouldn’t have been the truth, and Archer couldn’t lie no matter how much he wasted to. It was only partially Tessa’s fault that he was like this, the other two contributing factors were Kalina’s death and the explosion. He eyed Tessa’s hands as she signed to him, and the boy was glad that she at least had the decency to treat him like a human. That was probably Archer’s favorite thing about Tessa, how she didn’t treat him lesser just because he couldn’t hear.

’That’s good.’ He replied, though it wasn’t really. Archer wished Jared would get murdered and his body never found, because he was a jerk face and a moron and an idiot. Jared probably couldn’t recite the first thirty-six numbers of pi like Archer could. ‘I’m happy for you.’ He couldn’t tell a lie, and this wasn’t exactly one. Because Archer was content with Tessa being happy, she was his favorite person next to Landon and deserved it. It was just she was happy with the wrong person. When Tessa changed the subject and asked how he was, the boy shook his head slowly, feeling tears prick at his eyes. It hurt. His entire body heart. His heart hurt. The pain he felt was a record high, and he couldn’t stop it. Continuing not to look at her, the legend placed his head on the table, telling himself he was forbidden from crying in front of Tessa. The boy took a shuddering gasp, the cold air quenching the burning his lungs felt, and for once he was glad it was cold out. 

Archer’s fingers fumbled as he signed. ‘I’m depressed.’ That was the simplest answer he could give. Because of all the events that were happening around camp, and the memories that plauged him at night, Archer couldn’t cope. ‘I’m tired.’ Late nights had come to him lately, sleep just wouldn’t grant him peace. Pictures of flames and smoke, the sound of shattering glass and screams were his companions in the dark, and he couldn’t find freedom. ‘I’m done.’ Because Archer just wanted some happiness, and Tessa was his light, even if his heart was trampled on by her. It didn’t matter, he knew she wouldn’t actually hurt him, his heart was just collateral damage.
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ooc- i just hurt baby archer aw


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PostSubject: Re: no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa   Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:30 pm



Tessa Traverse
| The sharp winter air smelled like ice, freezing inside of her nostrils before she had the chance to steal the oxygen from it. Maybe it wasn't just the temperature of the air, but also the quality of it. Recently Tessa felt like the camp's altitude has risen drastically; she half expected to see clouds around her feet as she walked. The atmosphere was almost imaginary too, and yet real. It was a strange balance, almost like the mist that protected mortals from the horrors demigods all too often witnessed. She wished she was mortal, occasionally, and that she was ignorant to the awful things people were capable of and the things that this world was capable of. Danger was always lurking in the shadows, threatening to come out and swallow any hope it found in the world. She could see it now, in the rumors that were buzzing and the secrets that were being whispered around the hall. No one was safe from the fear.

Not even Tessa was safe from fear, no matter how much that pained her to admit. It pumped through her veins, flowed through her nerves and filtered her eyesight. No one was safe from it. Looking over at Archer, or what little of him she could see, the girl assumed he was feeling the fear too. But it was obvious that fear didn't grip him the same way it did she. Tessa didn't show fear, if she could help it. She would keep her hair in place and her i's dotted. The less obvious emotion was, the harder it was to decode, and if no one knew how you felt, they couldn't know you. That was safety. However, when the teenager looked over at her sad, broken friend, she didn't want to be safe. She wanted him safe.

Archer wasn't though, Tessa knew that deep down in the pits of her guilt and regret. She also knew that she wasn't safe, not really, not with Jared. She didn't even like him, but it was so much easier to fake feelings for him than admitting her feelings for her best friend. Jared and Tessa wouldn't hurt each other, not permanently anyways, but she was terrified of hurting Archer, despite knowing she already had.

She didn't believe him when he expressed happiness for her. Was he really happy for her? Tessa surely wasn't. She was stuck in a rut with a rude boyfriend and a depressed best friend without a way out. She didn't comment on it though, and instead took a liking to studying her shoes as the silent cold hung in the air to freeze. The sound of his head on the table startled her as her head snapped over to him, eyes wide with concern. She rotated her feet into the table, now leaning against it in vain, searching for some emotion on his beautiful face. "Archer?" she spoke, not realizing the lameness of what she had just done. Her eyebrows continued to knit together while he signed a series of words.

It was her fault. Her heart hurt, not nearly as badly as his, she was sure, but it ached none the less. Tessa wanted to verify his emotions, talk to him, for a long time about things that didn't matter, or maybe they would, she didn't know - she just wanted to talk. They hadn't really spoken since she rejected him that day on the lake. So, using a phrase her middle school health teacher would be proud of, she signed, 'Do you want to talk about it?' It was lame, yes, but she knew that asking to do something stupid wouldn't help this situation, not when she was looking into the eyes of a lost, broken soul.

the opposite of amnesia
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a. hams
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PostSubject: Re: no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa   Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:30 pm

The walls of the past, the spires of the present, and the skyscrapers of the future all had to come down at some point. They all had to crumble into ash and dust as memories were reveled during late night whispers and bright daytime stories. Nothing was secret for long, it would eventually come to light and the truth would be out in the open. Archer knew this all too well, and yet he still hid from Tessa, a turtle reverting inside a shell whenever a predator was around. Despite Tessa being his best friend, and despite him trusting her completely and entirely, to the moon and back, Archer could not bring himself to tell her about his parents death. The wounds of time had only just been sauntered together, and the boy knew that they could be reopened in a split second of wrong turns and stupid decisions. With his head on the desk, Archer tapped his foot along to some invisible, inaudible beat that he imagined. First it was random, no particular pattern could be noticed. But the more the legend did it, the more the rhythm turned turned into something like a heart beat. Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum. He was spilling his heart out onto the floor, trying to keep the anxiety down. Archer could smell the grease of the hamburger and felt bile rising up in the back of his throat. He couldn’t even think about food, let alone touch it, so he merely pushed to neglected and uneaten food away from him, head still on the table, gears in his brain turning feverishly. 

Of course Archer didn’t notice when Tessa uttered his name, as he wasn’t looking anywhere near her. Instead, he closed his eyes and stayed perfectly still. It was only when she signed something to him did the legend take interest. Did he want to talk? No. Would it help? Maybe. Being a stubborn little twat was written somewhere in his DNA, but he was too tired to form a cohesive argument as to why it was a shitty idea to engage in conversation with his best friend. Archer couldn’t lose Tessa; he needed her like birds needed to fly, like a fish needed water. When she was around, he could breathe easier and walk with a spring in his step. Still, would she think less of him if he told her his past? How he failed to help his parents? How it was only Landon and him, and he was doing a pretty shitty job at keeping what little ties to family he had left tied together? Fear icily gripped at his heart, making his blood pump slower and making him lightheaded. Archer took a shaky breath and nodded. The boy sat up so Tessa could see him sign better, but his eyes were still closed tight as the memories came flooding back to him. Memories he would otherwise try and forget. 

‘I had a… a little sister, and two parents. They were the best people you could ever meet and I think about them everyday so much it hurts. Everything… Everything was…. Everything was perfect.’ The words were getting harder to form, his fingers feeling like lead instead of nimble flesh and bone. ‘Of course, according to science, nothing perfect lasts forever. Mom and dad, they were scientists. Brilliant ones, too. But they were a bit reckless, and one day Landon and I were walking home from school, and we were just a couple of houses away, and our house…’ Archer paused for a long time here, blinking rapidly. It was something he had always done ever since he was a kid whenever he was anxious or nervous about something, it was his own personal nervous tick. He thought talking to someone about this would help, but it just made him ache with homesickness and longing instead. 

‘Our house exploded, Tessa. I can still smell the smoke and see the flames. My sister and parents died tragically, and that was how I lost my hearing.’ The legend looked up at the ceiling of the mess hall, tears in his unusually calm blue eyes, the color of the sea after a particularly horrible storm. He still hadn’t looked at Tessa throughout this whole meeting, refusing to meet her eyes because if he did he’d just break down. ‘I miss them. I miss them so much and I miss you, and I wish stupid jerk Jared was dead.’ 
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PostSubject: Re: no one notices your brand new t-shirt // arcsa   Sat Feb 21, 2015 3:00 pm



Tessa Traverse
| Love - as Tessa was beginning to realize - was difficult to define. Was it caring about someone? Was it placing their needs before yours? Was it giving them space when they needed it? What was love? No, what is love? She hadn't the slightest idea, despite the feeling she had formed with people over the course of her seventeen years. Most of her relationships were short and meaningless, but the few that weren't were still undecipherable and confusing. Humans were constantly changing, nothing stayed the same, and she didn't want anything the same. The Earth needed to keeping turning, the sun needed to rise and the dew needed to set. Nothing was permanent. Was love?

She didn't know, but looking at Archer, with his glassy eyes and matted hair, she desperately hoped so. Tessa wanted to love, but it was a risk, that involved exposing yourself fully to the affections and rages of others. Was it worth it? She wasn't sure. She was sure, however, that Archer was worth it. He was worth everything, the sun, the moon and the stars, all of it. The thought of him kept her up at night more than the thought of Jared ever could. She had lost sleep over him and it was worth it. Did he know that, sitting there, empty? Tessa didn't know, and she wasn't going to ask.

As he began signing, a knot began forming in her stomach, but she paid attention intently. The word 'had' slipped over her mind as he continued on. She knew he had a family - didn't everyone - but she hadn't ever asked about it. Privacy was something the demigod had grown to deeply attached to, and she had become accustomed to not digging into the lives of others. Her brown eyes focused on his shaking hands as she resisted the urge to reach out and grasp them. Instead she sat still.

When his fingers stopped moving, she looked onto his face, watching him blink. Was he blinking away tears? She wasn't going to ask. When the truth finally came out, Tessa swallowed the urge to gasp. She had no idea of that kind of struggle, where you lost everyone you loved. She couldn't imagine the smell of the smoke or the height of the flames. She couldn't help what had been done. Her gaze shifted to the hard wood table, visually tracing the swirls and lines in it. When Tessa looked back over at him, he was signing again. This time she couldn't hep herself; she grabbed his hand, hoping he'd look her in the eyes now.

'I'm sorry,' she signed with her free hand. 'And I'm sorry you hate Jared, but no matter what I'm going to be your best friend. I'm always going to be here for you.' Tessa looked at him, long and hard, hoping he understood. She needed him and he needed her, whether they liked it or not.
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