Camp Half Blood
Oops! You're not logged in to Camp Half Blood! If you're already registered with us, click log in. If you're not, you better register before the monsters come get you!



 
HomeFAQSearchCalendarGalleryMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Welcome to CHB!
Camp Half Blood is the sister site of Camp Jupiter.

Share | 
 

 My REAL character!

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
gabby500



Posts : 66
Join date : 2013-01-28
Age : 13
Location : In the sun chariot, sorry Maserati

PostSubject: My REAL character!   Wed Apr 24, 2013 6:12 pm

Name: Jayde Lynn
Age/Birthday:Dec 17th
Gender: Female
God Parent: Hephaestus
Claimed: Yes
Mortal Family: Alyssa and Ben Lynn
Years in Camp: 2
Brief History: Jayde has had two brothers but they have both died.
Her mortal parents divorced once but got back together. Jayde always doubted that her dad was the real one.  Jayde is a popular girl in school and has many friends. When Jayde ran away from home she discovered camp and was greeted by Chiron and taken in.
Physical Appearance: Jayde has brown  eyes and brown hair. She has a few freckles acoss her nose. Jayde is very skinny. She has natural highlights at the bottom of her hair. Jayde doesn't like to wear jewelry but she'll wear it on special occasions.
Personality: Jayde is a very funny girl which has earned her friends. She can also be very shy around new people. Jayde really defends other people especially when it comes to friends.  Jayde always tells the truth and is a very honest person.
Fatal Flaw: Loyalty
Pets: No pets
Talents: Jayde can build anything very useful within five minutes. For example:Jayde can build a weapon or flashlight etc.She can smell any metal fatigue or anything that has to do with metal and gears. Jayde only uses her powers for good and to help others. For weapons she can build daggers or knives.
Weapons: A dagger similar to Annabeth's. Her dagger is celestial bronze.
Year-Round or Summer: Jayde only stays during summers at camp.

I hope you approve of my character!


Last edited by gabby500 on Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:33 pm; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : I needed to change my character.)
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Beanie
If you can't have Scott McCall, why bother?


Posts : 2097
Join date : 2011-06-12
Age : 16
Location : eternally stuck in Hades

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Wed Apr 24, 2013 6:44 pm

She's much better, but she still needs another sentence for her brief history and her personality.

And can you elaborate on her history a little bit? It's slightly confusing.

other than that she looks pretty good ;)
(I don't quite know about her powers, but the real character mods will probably be able to sort that out.)



"We don't decide who lives and dies. Not down here."


Back to top Go down
View user profile
sapphire
Sardonic Twin


Posts : 2998
Join date : 2011-12-17
Age : 21
Location : neither here nor there

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:47 pm

Like what Bean said, please supply more sentences in her brief history and personality. Maybe include how she got to camp? She also needs a few flaws personality-wise.

Her fatal flaw is neither fatal nor a flaw. Please change it into something else.

The first power is quite vague. It can easily imply that she can build a car in just one minute and that's too much even for a Hephaestus kid. Please specify what you mean by 'anything useful'.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://phoenixsapphire.deviantart.com
cher
Experienced Poster


Posts : 2313
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 16
Location : I have no idea. I just woke up here, dude.

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:43 am

*I recommend you take a peek at one of the character mod character applications as an example
Back to top Go down
View user profile
gabby500



Posts : 66
Join date : 2013-01-28
Age : 13
Location : In the sun chariot, sorry Maserati

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Mon Apr 29, 2013 7:28 pm

Did you notice my changes?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sapphire
Sardonic Twin


Posts : 2998
Join date : 2011-12-17
Age : 21
Location : neither here nor there

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:41 am

Ah, sorry. Next time, post in your topic that you've edited your character.

Again, the first power is vague. The issue is not the time she can use it - it's with the power's limitations. Like I said before, please specify what you mean by 'anything very useful'. Also add drawbacks to her ability to summon fire. Jayde is running the risk of being too overpowered and limits and disadvantages would help balance her out.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://phoenixsapphire.deviantart.com
gabby500



Posts : 66
Join date : 2013-01-28
Age : 13
Location : In the sun chariot, sorry Maserati

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Fri May 17, 2013 6:43 pm

I edited my character.


Last edited by gabby500 on Fri May 17, 2013 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I made a spelling mistake)
Back to top Go down
View user profile
cerys
out of town girl


Posts : 3627
Join date : 2011-11-22
Age : 18
Location : burning in the underworld

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Sat May 18, 2013 12:47 pm

alright hi so I've looked over your character and there are just a few more things that i find little problems with. sorry! Firstly, her power seems a little vague. I mean, would she be able to make a nuclear bomb in two minutes? You need to limit what she can and can't make in two minutes, and perhaps make it, say, five minutes instead of two because two seems a wee bit unrealistic?

Also, although this isn't really necessary, you could maybe make the whole app a little more detailed? Because I just feel like it's wearing a little thin when it comes to detail? If you could fix this then pop a new message and one of us will check your app out again. cool cool.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://jesus-weeps.tumblr.com/
gabby500



Posts : 66
Join date : 2013-01-28
Age : 13
Location : In the sun chariot, sorry Maserati

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Sun May 19, 2013 7:17 am

Thanks cerys!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
gabby500



Posts : 66
Join date : 2013-01-28
Age : 13
Location : In the sun chariot, sorry Maserati

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:32 pm

I edited it.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sapphire
Sardonic Twin


Posts : 2998
Join date : 2011-12-17
Age : 21
Location : neither here nor there

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:20 pm

You haven't edited your character since before Cerys posted.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://phoenixsapphire.deviantart.com
gabby500



Posts : 66
Join date : 2013-01-28
Age : 13
Location : In the sun chariot, sorry Maserati

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:55 pm

Now I have.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sapphire
Sardonic Twin


Posts : 2998
Join date : 2011-12-17
Age : 21
Location : neither here nor there

PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Fri Jun 28, 2013 8:42 pm

Accepted!
Happy roleplaying!
#JAYDE
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://phoenixsapphire.deviantart.com
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: My REAL character!   Today at 4:48 pm

Back to top Go down
 
My REAL character!
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Who is the scariest video game character to meet in real life?
» someone is building a rhino.....for real!
» Warmachine Character Jack Updgrade Kits
» move character to another realm - Yes, you can.
» Destiny of the Dreamweaver Character Profiles

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Camp Half Blood :: General :: Character Submission-
Jump to: