>offer ritaln to friends as a christmas present because finals are coming up
>create bond through that and become part of the family
>realize i can barter what i have for what others have
>get drunk every weekend to make the anxiety go away
>it slowly dawns on me (again) that you go to school to learn how to learn properly, just to use these study skills in college to learn how to do a job, just to grind yourself to nothing in your elderly stage. Your entire life is literally preparing you to work. And you have to pay for it.
>well that sucks let's all get drunk
>i've made friends with people now and i'm happy
>failing miserably in school
>don't care because there's no reason anyway
>my life is headed down the drain
>but even if i were successful, my life would still be dull. success is just working and working sucks.
>come to the conclusion that it's probably better if i die before i'm 30 and settle down in my nest of shiz and destruction
>i've not perfected any art nor skill, nothing i've ever done or will do will have meaning
>this is acceptable. I am okay with this. give me alcohol
>go to a party, apparently people have caught wind of my past bartering.
>accidentally become a drug dealer. Well crap.
>friends wanna drink. let's drink.
>i think i might be considered an alcoholic now idk
>or just a college kid
>but is there a difference
>all my friends are the same way