I don’t really have anyone to talk to lately, so I’m writing everything down. Little rants that I can’t really share, because I don't want the people around me to listen.
So, it’s public knowledge that there was a popular ‘cut4Bieber’ trend on Monday that was trending all over the world (about fourth here) and was first in America for a few hours I think. Basically, some idiots on forums had started a prank trend posing as Beliebers to seem like that were self-harming. However, Beliebers actually took this seriously as some actually cut themselves in order for Justin to ‘stop smoking weed’. Pathetic, yeah, but don’t patronize me on how wrong it is. I know its wrong, that’s why I was ranting about how sick it was on Twitter. And, personally, idk what to think if Justin is smoking pot. Tbh, I don’t care, because he;s a teenager dude and it’s his life. We just like the music and him and everything about him. He wants to do that shiz, fine by him. I mean, I’ve come close to doing it myself so I’m not one to talk. He does have a life, and he’s eighteen. I don’t understand why people are getting so worked up but whatevs.
But I didn’t really come to rant about that. It’s what happened when I came into school the day after the trend. In my year, there are many different groups. I guess the popular ones would be divided like this; the ones that are all fashionable and bish about people, and the ones that don’t really care about or spread gossip as much, and are just…plain nicer and clever (because, let’s face it, the others are bimbo’s). Me and my friends are probably in the second popular group. So I come into school, and one of the boys (hot, but an idiot I might add) came up to me and got right in my face and said “Do it for Bieber, girl.”
The people in my school know how much I love Justin, because I know and make it obvious, so it really pissed me off all day when whenever he and his little clique passed me and kept repeating “Do it for Bieber, Cerys!” Then I had so many people coming up to me and moving around my bracelets just so they could just my wrists. And then I get another kid shout after me “Hey, Cerys, did you cut yourself or what?” and then one of my friends came up to me today and shouted across the classroom “Hey Cerys your wrists stopped bleeding yet?” as a joke but I felt like punching her in the face.
I just told them all to eff off. Their jokes are funny, because self-harming in a serious thing. Idiots.
Then there was this probably with one of my best-friends and a guy I mean, the guy (let’s call him Shane because I love that name) is a total player and one of my best-friends as well, and this girl ‘Abby’ like him for ages. But he lead her on just so he could get, let’s face it, down and dirty with her. It’s what Shane does. He’s sexually frustrated to the max, dude. Hanging out with him for one lunchtime makes me think like a guy it’s not funny. Anyway, I’ve probably been crushing on Shane for almost a year now, and like everyone knows. And, it got pretty hot and heavy with us before. Not going into detail, but I was about to do some things that a nearly-fifteen year old girl probably shouldn’t do.
I didn’t, obvo, but it came close.
And then we left each-other alone for a bit. I mean, he doesn’t like relationships because a) he’s a player and b) he doesn’t like the concept of them. Admittedly, I’m a fail at relationships too. I mean, I’ve never gone longer than three months with a guy and the only real reason it went on for that long was because the kissing was good (loljk Idk why). But since we started the new year, me and Shane have got close again. Like, closer than we ever have been before. We are constantly hugging and talking and joking around and everyone thinks we’re together and we’re not, so one day before Christmas when we were out in the night hugging by a wall, I literally just stopped being and flirty and just plain on asked “Why aren’t we together?”
Because, don’t get me wrong, he’s a player but, let’s face it, I dig that dude.
Just as I wrote that he popped up to me on fb omg weiiird. I dig the whole bad boy edge y’know. So then we talked it through, because he’d stopped talking to other girls and stuff. Literally, he’d just stopped. Like, the only girl he would ever text and stuff was me and our other friends. I didn’t understand, seeing as we may as well. But then it got into some sticky situation where we would be like – I’m a say hugging because PG-13 yo - hugging each-other whilst our other friends talked and then we’d just be like ‘what are we doing’ and then stop. Because he doesn’t like that thing but I’m like, so hardcore crushing.
Anyway yeah, I didn’t think Abby still liked him, but she did. So I laid off because I’m a good friend but then they got really argumentative with each-other and now they’re pissed off with each-other, so I went back to ‘normal’ with Shane.
But now, after Christmas, we’ve hardly talked or touched. Don’t get me wrong, In a way I’m relieved because I don’t feel used, but whenever I see him I feel like I should be over thing. Granted, we’ve only been in school three days and in that time we’ve talked hugged a little bit idk it feels so weird because Abby got agry with Shane and I over X-mas because of other reasons (my friends do gossip, I take the earlier thing back) and now we’re really weird with each-other. I really don’t know what to do with him anymore, and he’s started getting gin touch with another girl again ugh so I give up. He don’t want all this *points to self* then he gon’ go be missing out.
Another rant similar to the Shane one is about how there’s a new boy in my year and we used to talk a lot because he’s shy and feels comfortable with me and we used to go up to the field at lunch to smoke and talk (he would smoke I would just talk because I don’t smoke ahaa) but my friend in the year above has a crush on him so no one knows I like him as well because I’m covering up my raging hormones by trying to hook them up yolo. But the new kid is pretty freaking perf in my eyes, even if some of my mates don’t see it. He’s just so baaad; smokes everyday, listens to my sort of music, hipster, loves to skate, stretched earlobes, curly blonde hair, sexually active, smokes weed every now and then. So yeah, I just described my dream guy in a nutshell oops.
That’s really it. My exams are stressing me right now as well, and I’m going to say this right at the end because I don’t think anyone would’ve been able to read this far but I’m already missing Kat. I mean, she’s one of my best friends in real life as well, and I literally cried when she pm’d me just before she put the announcement up. He and Greek were my best-friends here, and now they’re gone. Honestly, I’m only staying here now for nico, Zan, James, Saph, because my roleplaying is lacking right now due to education ahaa and I will miss a lot of people if I leave.
Ranting over. Ooops, lot’s of words.