hallelujah [ trigger warnings ]

Subject: hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:54 pm

Levi Charles Wayland

The metal was cool and heavy in his hands. It made him feel powerful, strong, invicible. Like he could do anything and get away with anything. Wiping the blood off his nose, Levi raised the gun slowly, his hands shaking. A thousand thoughts ran through his head. Was he going to get caught? Would he live to tell the tale? Could he really pull the trigger? He pressed the nozzle to the side of his temple and with his pointer finger on the trigger, a tear ran down Levi's face. God, could he really do it? Before he knew it, he was full on sobbing. Sobbing pitifully, taking great gulps of air, still holding the gun pressed against his head. "I can't do this!" He screamed, throwing the gun across the room. "I can't do this..." he whispered, dropping to his knees and throwing himself on the floor. He was weak. Weak for almost doing it and weak for not being able to pull the trigger. It was just one little muscle movement. Like a reflex, almost. So why couldn't he just do it?

Putting his hands on the back of his head, Levi pressed his forehead against the cool, hardword floor and just breathed deeply. He sat like that for a good fifteen minutes, cooling himself down. What he needed was to talk to Rosie. But Rosie was out with her stupid boyfriend. Levi picked himself up off the floor and crawled over to his dresser, rifling through some papers. He shoved his geometry book aside and lifted up the false top in his dresser to reveal a small cubby. Inside the cubby was a small collection of blades and razors. If he couldn't shoot himself, then he could bleed out. Levi picked up the first blade he saw and put it to his skin. Within about twenty minutes, he had everything cleaned up and he had his wounds dressed. Yeah, none of them were deep enough to take his life, but he'd have to deal until he figure out the perfect way to die.

As if nothing had happened, Levi slid down the banister on the stairs like a normal boy. He couldn't let his father see what was really going on. If he did, Pete would never let him forget it. He'd tease him and he'd bully him and he'd make fun of him. Levi hated Pete as it already stood, so it wasn't like he could hate him anymore. When Levi rounded the corner into the kitchen, he could already smell the booze. He rolled his eyes. God, his father was a true pig. Levi grimaced as a rain of insults hit him in the face when he first walked in. "God, lay off, it's eight in the morning, dad." Levi narrowed his eyes at his father. Leaning against the counter as the harsh words rolled off his horrible breath, Pete narrowed his eyes at Levi. "What'd you say to me, punk?" His words were slightly slurred. Levi just shook his head and turned back to the fridge.

Suddenly, he felt two meaty hands around his throat. Levi let out a choking noise. His windpipe felt like it was being squeezed in two. Instinct kicked in and Levi brought his elbow back into his father's face, feeling something crunch under his blow. A satisfactory crunch. "Ungh," the noise sounded behind Levi and out of instinct, Levi ducked. However, he didn't duck fast enough. A blow fell on the back of the boy's head, sending him flying onto the floor. "God..." Levi whispered, rolling off of the dog's waterbowl that he had landed on.

Levi brought his sleeve up to his nose and wiped away the sticky blood. As he tried to get up, he was kicked back the ground, this time in the face, right between the eyes. Levi cried out and fell hard, clutching his face. Not only was there blood on his face now, but there was mud and dirt, too. He could hear his father and his father's friends laughing in the front room now. For a moment, Levi just lay there in a pool of his own pool and misery. God, he just didn't want to live anymore. He didn't want to live with that man anymore. Levi struggled to his feet and shakily took a step forward. His ankle went numb and he fell again, this time on his knee. This time, Levi just crawled. He crawled on his hands and knees to the kitchen table where his father's revolver lay idly. Levi slapped his hand down onto the table and grabbed the gun. He collapsed to the floor and hugged the gun to his chest. This was his new best friend. He could feel it. Levi slowly got to his feet and dragged himself into the front room.

His father and his pig friends were all gathered around one bong, smoking. When the saw Levi approach his father stood to do something, but Levi was quicker. He raised the revolver with an entirely too steady hand. Levi's eyes were so dark now, they could've been black. "You don't want to mess with me right now, dad," he said, his voice strong despite the intensity of the situation. Pete's eyes were wide with fear. Levi could practically smell the fear radiating off his body. Fear mixed with sweat and marijuana smoke. "I'm filled with blood, bitterness and impure thoughts. I've got a revolver in my hands. I swear to God I will shoot you right now." Levi advanced closer to his father, forcing him to sit down. Levi's heart was pumping hard against his ribcage. Could he really do it? Was he really going to shoot his own father? "You're no father to me, asshole," he whispered to himself pulling the trigger that he was once too scared to pull before.

The backfire of the gun nearly knocked him to the ground, but Levi recovered and glanced at his father's friends. They were terrified of the boy now. Levi gave them a twisted smile. Pain was locked in his eyes. He pointed the revolver at the two of them now and pulled the trigger two times more. They were done. He was done.

"I'm done."

Subject: Re: hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:45 pm

oh my god zan powerful to high heavens.
and goodness this is a bad trigger for me lol.

Subject: Re: hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] Sun Dec 30, 2012 3:11 pm

I did warn of triggers haha sorry.

Subject: Re: hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] Sun Dec 30, 2012 3:51 pm

It was a beautiful story either way~

Subject: Re: hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:20 pm

thanks man I'll finish it tonight for you

tonight he shoots his father .

hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] 1944190462

Subject: Re: hallelujah [ trigger warnings ] Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:05 pm

» Trigger warnings for everyone yay
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» [trigger warning: drugs] Maybe some more...? ft. Welshy
» everybody talks [open; slight trigger warning]