Posts : 5592
Join date : 2011-02-16
Age : 18
Location : lost in the woods
|Subject: in the water no one can see you cry Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:41 am|| |
A few of you may know that I'm a swimmer. Some of you might not, and that's okay. I think you'll still get the majority of this rant either way. Okay, here it goes.
My season started off really good. I was dropping time in all of my events left and right. Things were going really great, swimming wise. I liked my coach for once, and I couldn't believe it. Then, my shoulders became a problem. Scoliosis is a common thing in my family, and I learned that I most likely already have that. I'm 15. This sucks. I couldn't do much more than kick in most practices, because otherwise my shoulders hurt. It felt like I wasn't improving, but I was still losing time in all of my races. How does that work? I don't know, but then it got to the middle of October...
My shoulders are a little better now, and I thought 'Oh, now I'll do even better since my shoulders don't suck! Yay' Yeah, well boo hiss. I started gaining time. What the heck?! I wasn't doing very good at all, but I felt amazing. I felt like I was dropping time. To look up after a race and see it gained two seconds... well I was upset. I still went to true team, which not everyone gets to go to. I was honored, but I didn't feel like I belonged there. I was one of the five slowest people there, and everyone else was getting all of these awards, and here I am, trying to support them. One of my teammates is in either grade, and qualified for sections. I haven't [needless to say]. And she was upset! Upset that she didn't get to go by herself. [she qualified with a relay] Then my other friend is also going to sections. Ugh. I had to time at the conference meet last night. I almost started crying, because my team looked so happy without me. I think they don't need me.
My mom was talking to me in the car the other day, and asked me a question. She was like 'Are you mad that you have scoliosis ?' I replied with, 'Well, yeah, obviously.' Then she had the gall to ask more questions. 'Well, you're dropping time with your bad shoulders, think about how well you would be without them' This bothered me for two reasons. One : She's part of the reason I have this stupid disease. Two: I was dropping time, and when I got better it didn't help at all. I feel so stupid...